All I Want Is You
by Fangfan1
Summary: Sometimes the best kind of gifts are the ones you least expect to get. And this Christmas Logan Mitchell is about to get the gift of a life time. Family. Kames SLASH, if you do not like do not read.
1. Publicity

**Well, here I am with another story. But this will be a much shorter story than my other ones, and it's to help fill my Christmas mood. This will be a Christmas themed story, and I just had to write it. I needed a break from everything and this story was the result. I hope you find it enjoyable**

**Also there will be SLASH, which means malexmale romance, so if that bothers you in anyway please leave. This story might not be for you if you don't enjoy slash. Kames slash. Not my OTP, but mine wouldn't work for this story.**

**Anyhow enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I make no money or profit from Big Time Rush. I own nothing but the plot.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Publicity**

_December 3, 2011- Los Angeles, California_

Christmas was in the air. From the smell of fresh gingerbread house, to the sound of children chattering excitedly about old St. Nicholas. The cool breeze had dropped the normal temperature of Los Angeles down to a nice cool 60 degrees. While there was no snow, (a wish that usually didn't occur in L.A.) the season of winter and Christmas was on its way.

And James Diamond couldn't be more excited. Christmas time had always been his favorite time of the year. Being with family, giving one another a gift to smile about; snuggling in front of a cozy fireplace with his fiancé, as his lips trailed down their neck, fingers dancing along the skin in the firelight, tugging at the waistband –

"James!"

James was snapped out of his – ahem – daydream sharply, by a loud and booming voice. His face instantly flushed, tinting his cheeks with a scarlet bloom. It hadn't been the first time he'd been caught daydreaming at work, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

James cleared his throat. "Ah, yes Gustavo?"

"If you could get your head out of the clouds and back in the recording studio so we can work, now!"

Gustavo Roque. He was James' music producer for his singing career. James had always loved to sing his entire life. Then, about two years ago James had gone to a large, open mic night. At a bar in town, where it was actually auditions for Gustavo Rocque's next 'star'."

James had the talent; he had the determination; he had the passion and Gustavo immediately signed him to the record company.

If you were to ask James to describe Gustavo in one word he would flat out and say, "Loud. Really, _really_ loud."

See, Gustavo's trademark trait was his tendency to always yell. Tons of yelling and stress.

But together they had released one album that had blown away the charts and were currently weeks away from releasing the second album.

James grinned, putting the headphones back on and stood by the microphone. "Alright ready, oh great master of music."

There was no remark or counter attack from Gustavo, and James could only assume the producer was slowly planning the numerous ways he could kill James with a microphone, without getting caught.

The music had crept on through the speakers around James. Instantly, he was surrounded by the melody of the holiday song, in his own little world. James closed his eyes and began to sing.

"_I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need…"_

A sudden shrill ringing in James' ears cut the twenty-three-year-old off, before he scrambled to throw the headphones off.

"Gah!Gustavo, what the hell?" James yelled into the microphone, hands over his ears. He sighed and shook his head, attempting to stop the ringing in his ears.

"Sorry dog. I was distracted by someone." The producer said gruffly. James' ears perked at the response, and his eyes brightened.

"By who?" Was his question to Gustavo.

"Who do you think?" James didn't even need to think about who it _would_ be. By the annoyed tone in Gustavo's deep voice, he could tell who it was already.

His fiancé.

"I brought coffee!" James couldn't help but smile warmly at the sound of his fiancé's voice, just beyond the glass. Without a moment to spare James exited the studio booth, only to be pulled into the arms of his fiancé into a breathtaking kiss, that lifted him off his feet.

James could feel himself melt into the kiss, as he wrapped his arms around his fiancé's neck to deepen the kiss. A tongue was being pushed against his lips eagerly waiting for entry; James happily complied, allowing the other to hold the dominance.

It wasn't until a moan released itself out of James that someone decided to speak up. Behind the couple, Gustavo cleared his voice, loudly and irritably.

"If you two are done trying to shove each other's tongues down your throats, we have work to do." The larger man growled; beady eyes narrowed.

The scarlet bloom returned to James' cheek when he broke away, breathing heavy. He glanced at his fiancé and boyfriend of five years shyly.

"Sorry. Kendall started it." The brunette mumbled and took the awaiting coffee from Kendall's hand, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"What can I say Gustavo? I wanted to kiss my Jamie." The blond, twenty-three-year-old smirked cheekily. James rolled his eyes and his blush behind his coffee. "Besides no more work. James is done for the day."

Gustavo stood up from his chair to glare at Kendall. James leaned back against the sound board to watch. Kendall and Gustavo never talked; no their interactions were much more _unique_.

"Oh, and I suppose you think you can tell me what to do, and what to do with mah dog?" Gustavo asked, eyes narrowed on Kendall and took a step forward.

Kendall pretended to be thinking. "Actually I do." He grinned slyly and also took a step forward.

"Well you can't! He's my dog! And he will do what I say when I say it!" Gustavo retorted, face even redder now, and took another step forward.

"Actually James is mine and only mine. You're all bark and no bite Gustavo. Face it and let him go home." Kendall was quick with his possessive reply. Another step forward.

Until they were right in front of one another, face to face. "You know I won't back down. It's six o'clock. James get's off at six; let him go." Kendall smirked.

"The dog goes home when I say he can and no one else."

"Haven't you ever heard of personal space?"

"Haven't you?"

"So James can come home?" Kendall bit back the victorious grin when Gustavo grunted, but backed off. He walked towards the door of the recording studio with a short flick of his wrist and a sharp, "Fine!"

Immediately Kendall latched onto James, snaking his arm around his fiancé's waist. "Oh and Gustavo," He couldn't help it. The producer turned around. "_Mine!_" And he bit down onto the skin of James' neck. The surprised male gasped and moaned in pleasure as Kendall continued to bite and suck his skin.

"K – Kendall! _Ah_, not here!" James hissed. "Not at my work! Kendall! Kendall! _Kendall!"_

* * *

_December 3, 2011- Saint Paul, Minnesota _

It didn't feel like Christmas yet. Not even close, despite the soft and fluffy sheet of snow already on the ground from December weather. No, to Logan Mitchell it hardly felt like Christmas season.

The small five-year-old was currently staring out the window; watching the snow fall like it did in all those _magical_ Christmas movies. But it just didn't feel like Christmas.

Although, that could be that he would be spending Christmas at St. Anthony's Orphanage in chilly Minnesota. An orphanage with too many kids for Logan's liking and too many kids to handle. The orphanage was jam packed with children, already over filling the maximum capacity and unable to take in any more.

Logan was _not_ a people person. So, a loud orphanage, crowded with yelling and running kids was not his ideal place to be. But he had no where else to go; no one else to be with.

He was stuck at St. Anthony's.

"Children, have you all finished your letters to Santa Clause?" Came the charming voice of the youngest caretaker at St. Anthony. Kelly Wainwright. She had a special connection with the children, especially around the holidays when she could share her love of it. She could usually get the kids to become quiet_er_ and calm_er_ with activities.

Many of the children in the room answered gleefully, "Yes!" while some had tearful, "No!"'s.

"Alright," Kelly smiled, searching the room. "Well, make sure you all have your letters done by five, before supper. So we can mail Santa your letter. After all he's been watching all of you."

"I've been good Ms. Kelly!" One boy called out.

"Me too! Me too!" Another girl exclaimed.

"Yes, you all have. And I'm sure Santa knows that." Kelly laughed until her eyes landed on Logan. Her heart began to ache at the sight of the solemn orphan. Out of all the kids, Logan was her favorite. He was quiet, timid and shy but very polite and it always broke her heart to know where he came from and why he was here.

Quietly she made her way to Logan. When she was behind him, he turned around only when she knelt. A small smile graced her lips when he gave a tiny wave.

"Hi Logan. Have you written your letter to Santa yet?" He nodded, before slowly pulling a red envelope out from under a pillow by the window. In messy hand writing read:

_To Mr. Santa Claus_

_Of the North Pole_

"Look at you, already with an envelope and heading." Kelly teased playfully. She gently took the envelope, but not without looking into Logan's eyes._ Oh._ They were begging her. "Don't worry sweetie, I'll personally make sure Santa get's this letter. Alright?" With a tiny, satisfied nod Logan went back to looking at the falling snow.

Kelly sighed and stood up as she left the room for a moment. Checking to make sure the children were okay, she focused on the letter in her hand. Careful, as to not rip anything, she opened the letter and read.

With each word written by the five-year-old, Kelly could feel her heart breaking more and more.

It would take a miracle for Logan's wish to come true, and that night, above all else, she prayed to the God above that this Christmas would be different for Logan.

* * *

_December 3, 2011- Los Angeles_

"Ew. Gross. Why do you two always have to be doing that when I come in?"

James grinned against Kendall's lips, feeling the other sigh in agitation. With two hands he pushed himself apart from Kendall, to look at Kendall's younger sister.

Katie Knight. Kendall had told James when they first started dating, that if you were to look in the dictionary under 'devious', Katie's picture_ should_ be there. James learned quickly on what he meant by that.

But no matter how 'devious' or annoying or how many times of interrupting their make-out sessions or almost sex, Kendall loved his baby sister. Which was why she had a steady boyfriend of five months, at sixteen, with a boy who was indeed scared _shitless_ of Kendall.

"Katie. Do you always have to interrupt us?" Kendall groaned, arm still around James' waist.

"Do you always have to be sucking face?" Katie shrugged and grabbed an apple. Kendall frowned but leaned in to peck James on the lips anyway. James smiled, kissing back. He felt a grin make its way onto Kendall's lips as he continued to peck.

"Seriously? Mom!"

"Knock it off Katie; they're grown adults who are engaged. They're allowed to kiss." Still kissing James, Kendall punched the air at his mother's voice. "Boys, PG while we're here."

"Yes mom." Kendall groaned when he pulled away from James. The two turned to face the other two Knights.

"Mama Knight, always a pleasure to see you." James said honestly. It was always great to have his soon to be mother-in-law over at their house. She held a special place in his heart now, and was always welcomed.

"Still charming the ladies James?" Jennifer Knight laughed as she hugged her almost son-in-law.

"It's what I do best." Said James with a dazzling smile, when he hugged her. "Well besides charming this guy here." He nodded towards Kendall. Kendall laughed but set the table for dinner. "Will you join us for dinner?"

X.X.X.X

Halfway through the dinner, Kendall decided to ask the question that had been bugging him.

"So mom," He said casually, looking up from his plate. "Not that James and I don't love having you and Katie over but why _are_ you two here?"

"Oh right, that." Jennifer said, fiddling with her fork.

"Mom, just tell them. It's not that hard." Katie sighed and had another forkful of potatoes.

"Tell us what?" Now, both Kendall and James were curious. Both had put their forks down to look at Jennifer Knight.

"Mom?" Kendall asked.

"Look, your aunt Sylvia invited Katie and I to come down to Kansas for Christmas." Jennifer sighed finally. "And with Uncle's John's passing last year, she's going to need people around her for the holidays. So I agreed, and Katie and I leave in two days. She offered to have you boys come with us also, both you boys, but I know you have tough schedules until Christmas Eve.

Kendall looked down at his plate, with a look of sadness. "So you'll be in Kansas for Christmas this year?"

"With our family big brother." Katie added.

"Oh. Well, that's sweet. I really wish I could go down to see how she's doing." James decided to chime in. "Thanks for remembering my work, but tell everyone 'Hello' and 'Merry Christmas' for us, okay?"

Jennifer nodded, grateful that James understood. This would be the first Christmas the couple would be spending without family. And both of them knew that hit Kendall hard.

"Well, Aunt Sylvia needs support. So I think it's great you're going. We're going to miss you at Christmas." Finally Kendall spoke up, managing a smile for his mother's relief. She smiled back.

"We'll miss you both too. But I'm sure it'll be nice to have a Christmas alone. Besides you have Carlos and the team if you want to spend Christmas with them." Mrs. Knight resumed eating her dinner, signaling the other's to join in.

"Yeah that could be a good idea." James murmured mouth full. Kendall and Katie laughed.

"What about you two starting a family of your own?" And just like that, the gentle mood had been sliced in the air with tension. You could see and_ feel_ the sudden change in atmosphere because of that one sentence.

"What?" Kendall asked tightly.

"Well I was wondering when you boys were going to start a family of your own? You know your own family so when we're gone you wouldn't be alone on Christmas. And you boys have been together a while." Jennifer pressed on innocently, not realizing how tender the topic really was.

"Mom we aren't even married yet." Kendall attempted to laugh it off from his seat. Kati looked between her brother and James, to gauge the different expressions and moods. From tense to somber.

"I know that dear. I'm just saying, maybe it's time to start thinking. You two have been together a while." Jennifer sighed, putting down her fork, done. The dinner was pretty much done _now_. "I was just asking when?"

"Look mom, we have. But we're not married yet and both of our careers are time consuming. We don't have time right now to look into adoption and such." Kendall said sternly, already out of his seat, and headed to the sink.

Jennifer Knight felt a small frown curl her lips downward. Her gaze lingered on Kendall for a moment longer, before looking at James. Like Katie, she had noticed James' voice absent from the discussion. She noticed the tight frown on his lips and the way his eyes were casted downward on his plate.

With a small sigh, Jennifer stood up to help her son with the dishes in the kitchen. Leaving Katie and James alone.

"What about you?" James finally looked up from his plate to look at Katie in confusion.

"What?"

"What about you? Do _you_ want kids?" Katie asked bluntly. James blinked at her before standing up.

"That is none of your business." James murmured gently. He turned to the kitchen with a sigh. "And you heard Kendall, this discussion is over."

Now Katie was left by herself to her own thoughts. But she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

* * *

_December 4, 2011- L.A. Airport_

"I wish you didn't have to go for four whole days." James said quietly, his voice almost being drowned out by the bustling voices of people in the airport.

Kendall sighed, pulling James closer to him in their seats. He gently kissed the top of James' head.

"I know but traveling is all part of the game." Kendall said. Kendall was a professional hockey player for the Los Angeles Kings. He was also the captain of the team (youngest captain, if James might add), and he was headed to Texas for an away game. "Besides, I'll be home by Saturday and we can do whatever that day."

James grinned. "Whatever?" He purred into Kendall's ears, hands already traveling across Kendall's black jeans. A sly grin slapped on Kendall's face.

"Oh most certainly whatever." He breathed, leaning in towards James. "It's up to you baby, I just hope you can wait that long." The smirk never faded from James' face.

"I'll be fine, the question is, will _you_ be able to wait that long?" James said, hands traveling even lower. When Kendall's eyes widened, he laughed hotly. Slowly the two leaned in for a k –

"Flight 21B, to Dallas, Texas is now boarding. Flight 21B, to Dallas, Texas."

James groaned into Kendall's shoulder when the announcer had ruined their moment. Kendall licked his lips and laughed, before standing up. He could see a few of his team mates boarding onto the plane already, including their long time best friend, Carlos Garcia.

The Latino waved at the couple and James knew it was time for Kendall to leave. With a sigh he stood up also, glancing at Kendall who grabbed his duffle bag.

"Well I gotta go." Kendall said quietly. James nodded and reached in to give Kendall a chaste kiss on the lips. Kendall pulled James closer, keeping the kiss going longer. Both boys could have kept kissing each other, forever, but that would mean Kendall missing his flight.

And James knew the team would kick his ass if Kendall didn't make it.

Slowly, he broke away with a small sigh but smiled. "I'll see you Saturday?"

Kendall smiled softly. "Saturday. It's a date." He winked and gave one last kiss to James before heading in line. James smiled and waved at his fiancé all the way until he boarded the plane before turning around.

_This is going to be a lonely four days._

X.X.X.X

"You need publicity."

James blinked at Gustavo momentarily, before raising an eyebrow. "I need…publicity?" Gustavo sighed louder than necessary but nodded. "But why? Aren't I already getting publicity? I mean did you see how well my first album did?"

"Yes dog, I know how well your album did. I did produce it after all." Gustavo grumbled. "But you need more, to become even bigger. A little more publicity wouldn't hurt you at all; you always could use some more."

James leaned back on the couch, one arm draped over the back of it, while he drank his coffee. "Okay. What kind of publicity are we talking? Photo shoot? Fan mail? Interview?"

"An orphanage." James felt his eyes bug out of their sockets and he choked on his coffee, not wanting to spit it all out on Gustavo. And feel his wrath afterward. James coughed.

"Excuse me?" He croaked, hoarsely.

"An orphanage. You know with kids? Take one home?"

"I know that, but what exactly does any of that have to do with publicity?" James cried. Gustavo grimaced.

"Look, there is this program at an orphanage in Minnesota, called "Home For The Holidays". It's basically where adults can take home and foster and child for one month during the holiday season. So they have a home for Christmas and people to celebrate." Gustavo explained. James nodded mutely. "It's only fostering for a month. Now I say to do this because if fans and paparazzi find out you're doing this, imagine how good your image will be.

"Headlines like, "James Diamond graciously helps give a home to an orphan for Christmas.'. It would help you fan base, show your heart and improve you publicity." Gustavo smiled with a chuckle. "And this is the best way to get those critics and negative publicity off your…erm…relationship choice…"

"You mean, me being gay?" James bit out bitterly.

"Yes. If they find out you and Kendall fostered a child to give him a wonderful Christmas they won't be focused on that fact anymore." Gustavo said gently, knowing that was a sore subject for James. For a while, nothing but silence was shared between the two. James was lost deep in his own thoughts, while Gustavo waited for an answer.

"So… 'Home For The Holidays', was it?"

Gustavo smirked. "Yes. In Minnesota. We can set up a flight for you to leave today and you can personally check it out. Meet the kids for yourself." Gustavo said waving his hand, for his secretary to enter. A young red head came in shortly. "Now, you and Kendall will be booked for a flight to Minnesota today –"

"Kendall went to Texas." Gustavo stopped speaking to stare at James when he interrupted. "He had a game, remember? He'll be gone until Saturday." Gustavo frowned and rubbed his chin.

"Well I suppose we can make your flight Saturday then."

"NO!" Both Gustavo and the secretary flinched at James' sudden out burst. The twenty-three-year-old instantly flustered and swallowed. "I – I mean no, we don't have to wait. We can go today. Kendall won't mind. I can call him and all."

Gustavo looked unconvinced. "You sure he'll be okay with you picking out a child and having one in the house by the time he gets home? He's fine with a kid?"

"Um, yes." James said quickly. "Yes, he will be. It'll be easier this way. The kid can get used to the house and I can set up stuff. Besides the faster we get this, the faster publicity will come right?" James laughed with an easy smile.

"Alright, if you say he'll be fine with this, dog, then," Gustavo turned back to the secretary. "Get James a flight on the private jet for one this afternoon. And also give a call to the orphanage. Let a 'Ms. Kelly', know I wish to speak with her." With a nod the secretary was gone.

Gustavo watched James closely who wiped his hands on his jeans.

"Well, this will be the perfect surprise for Kendall."

* * *

**Well, that's where I'll end it for now. I'm pretty excited for this story, I do have most of it planned out and it's probably only going to be about 10-15 chapters.**

**Anyhow, I hope you guys liked it and enjoyed reading it.**

**Thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Drop anything (except flames) off in a review!**

**Thanks and peace out! **


	2. Meeting

**Well I'm back, exactly one week later, wow. Buuut, finals are OVER, school is OUT and I'm just so happy. Time to rest and write more for this story. I really want to get to the Christmas chapter by the real Christmas. So…five days? I can do it! I hope….**

**Anyhow, thank you all dearly for all your wonderful reviews and faves or alerts. They make my concussion fade away while I smile happily.**

**Again this is a slash story (not in this chapter), but if you do not like slash then go away. Seriously. Thank you to all who do like it! **

**Disclaimer: I've never made money off of Big Time Rush. I only own this plot.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Meeting**

_December 4, 2011- Minnesota Airport_

To say James was nervous was about the biggest understatement of his life. James was far beyond the point of nerves by now. Internally, he was already beginning to freak out. But, if one looked at him on the outside they would have no idea how _scared_ he was. They would have insisted he was perfectly fine. But it was all a faquade.

Gustavo's privet jet for James had finally landed at the Minnesota airport, about ten minutes ago. Which was when it finally dawned on him.

He was going to _foster_ some _child_ without Kendall's input.

He was still trying to get used to that thought. Still working on it.

The chill of Minnesota hit James' flushed cheeks, when he stepped out of the plane. He shivered slightly tightening his jacket. Back in L.A he had never used this jacket. He hadn't this cold back in California for a long time, so James wasn't quite used to Minnesota weather.

He glanced back at Gustavo who was just getting off the plane with his red headed secretary. He was already spouting out orders to the young secretary, waving his hands.

"Call St. Anthony's right now; let them know James and Gustavo have arrived in…Minnesota. And let a Ms. Kelly Wainwright know I want to speak to her. Got it?" Gustavo ordered and with a nod, the secretary was off.

"Are you ready to go dog?" Gustavo asked and James nodded with a thick swallow. At his sides his hands were tight in sweaty, clenched fists. His heart rate felt like it was increasing by the minute and felt as if it was about to burst from his chest.

"Yup. Let's do this." James murmured quietly.

X.X.X.X

_St. Anthony's Orphanage_

James looked up at the house in front of him. He took in the sights of the flowers dying under the light blanket of snow, to the kids running around in the snow throwing snowballs; building snowmen and angels.

His breath came out in long, warm breaths in the cold, winter air. A soft smile was on his face, pulling up to his rosy cheeks. Behind him, Gustavo stood bundle up behind him, face pressed into his scarf around his neck, looking very much like a turtle.

"Stupid Minnesota weather. It's too freaking cold out here. Stupid cold snow." Gustavo grumbled bitterly. James chuckled at his boss and rubbed his hands together, to warm them. He made his way into the front yard of the orphanage, watching as children paused in their games to look at the new strangers.

James smiled gently at the boys and girls and continued towards the house. Around him he could hear all the children whispering to one another about James. Excitement and curiosity sprung around the children.

The front door opened quickly and there before them stood an African American woman, with curly black hair and gentle brown eyes. A smile made its way to her face when she saw the two men.

"Ah hello. James Diamond I presume? And Mr. Gustavo Roque?" She asked, shifting the child clinging to her pants. She smiled again when James nodded with a dazzling smile.

"Yes, I'm James and that's my manager Gustavo. Hello, how are you?" James asked in a gentle and quiet voice. The woman moved away from the door, and opened her arm to allow James and Gustavo to enter. James smiled gratefully, to get out of the cold and headed into the house. Warmth instantly swarmed him inside and he sighed happily while the woman shut the door.

"Hello. My name is Kelly Wainwright. I'm one of the head caretakers here at St. Anthony." The woman introduced herself, shaking both of the men's hand. She took James' coat and scarf from him to hang them on. "I'm so happy that you decided to do the 'Home For The Holidays', Mr. Diamond. The children will be so happy to know one of them will spend Christmas with our famous singer." James couldn't help but smile at this.

"You can just call me James." James said smoothly and Kelly nodded with a tint of pink on her dark cheeks. James took the time to look around the inside of the house. Children were running around the house, coming from all over. Up and down the stairs. Through the doorway into the other rooms.

Just children laughing and smiling in pure happiness. James' heart only swelled with joy.

"So…James, do you know anything about a child you wish to foster?" Kelly interrupted James' bliss and a large weight came crashing down on him.

He _hadn't _thought about that.

"Um…well…probably a boy?" James asked in a question rather than stated. "And um…you know who I am engaged to, right?"

Kelly's lips came down in a tight line before nodding. Just as she was about to speak, Gustavo cut her off.

"Ms. Kelly, why don't you and I discuss everything about the situation by ourselves and leave James here, to look around and get to know the kids?" Gustavo said loudly, taking the woman's shoulder's in one arm and turning her around briskly. They left James alone in the room of children.

By now, the children had all paused in their games and chatter to glance at the new stranger. Some children gathered closer to the nervous James; other's hung back, but still just as curious.

"Hi kids," James licked his lips and gave a shy wave. "My name is –"

"James Diamond!" James blinked and looked down at the little, blonde girl who had cried out his name. She – and now other kids – were squealing with joy and clapping.

"You're James Diamond! The new singer!" Another girl cried. More squeals erupted and the smile on James became less and less forced, and more and more real.

"Yeah that would be me." James laughed. Suddenly he was surrounded in a large hug of multiple children. "How are you all today?"

"Amazing! I can't believe James is actually here!" Another, taller and darker haired girl yelled. This caused many of the other girls to squeal once more. James chuckled, used to this kind of praise.

"I have your album!" A little boy said, waving his hand. James smiled and looked right at him. "Are you gonna have another one?" His eyes were big and bright with so much happiness that James just wanted to scoop him up and hold him tight. He couldn't see why Kendall was so against the idea.

"Why, yes I am. Actually the new album will come out in the New Year. In the middle of January." He explained. Multiple children cried out in happiness and punched the air. James smiled as wide as he could at each and every one of the kids. He hugged those who wanted, and ruffled the hair of other kids. He didn't even realize how natural this was for him with kids; his focus was simply on the idea one of these kids would be going home with him.

"Hey James! James, when are you getting married?" Another girl asked, twiddling with her hair.

"Oh probably in the summer of next year. We want an outdoor wedding in the summer." James said quietly with a soft smile. The idea of finally being able to get married to Kendall made his heart race and flutter.

"What are you doing here James?"

"Yeah, what are you doing? Are you gonna adopt someone?"

"Ooh! Are you taking one of us with you? To live in your mansion?"

"James can we hear you sing something?"

James gently set the children away from him, trying to listen to every question being thrown at him so he could answer. But there were so many small voices around him, asking him a million different questions. Quickly he tried to answer.

"Well, um…I'm here to see all of you guys. No I'm not adopting, not yet anyway." He winked. "But I'm actually here to foster someone with, 'Home For The Holidays'. And sure, I'll sing something just for you guys later. Okay?" He asked. A round of happy, "yay"'s rang through the kids and a few somber "aww"'s.

"Ohh, I'm already being fostered for that!" One young, boy cried. Other's nodded in agreement.

"Me too!"

"Me too. They're a nice couple."

James smiled at the children, but something in the distance caught his eyes. He squinted to see that standing in a door way next to the stairs, was another child. A small, very small, little boy was hiding in the door way, peaking with only half of his face. His eyes were fixed on James, with his hands up to his face.

James paused in talking to the children, and straightened his back. His eyes never left the little spiky hair boy. James watched as the little boy shifted, his brown eyes watching curiously. Then, the child's eyes met the eyes of James.

James waved to the boy.

The boy, however, froze. His eyes widening when he realized James was looking right at him. A dark pink blush covered his pale cheeks.

James opened his mouth to greet the young boy, only to have the boy bolt up the stairs and out of the room.

A frown fell upon James' lips as his eyebrow rose in curiosity.

* * *

Logan couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe that he'd been caught staring. The stranger in the room had caught Logan staring and was now looking right at him.

Logan could feel his heart stopping and leaping to his throat. The adrenaline and fear course throughout his body but he couldn't move. He was stuck. Frozen right where he was.

Almost like an instantaneous reaction, Logan could feel his face heating up with fear and embarrassment.

The strange man raised his hand up and began to open his mouth, but Logan wasn't about to listen. In the next second he hightailed it back up the stairs; out of the room and away from the man. His heart was hammering in his chest like a wild drum with an erratic beat.

He climbed the steps two at a time, before making it to his room. There he slammed the door behind him and leaned against it. His breath came out in shallow breaths and tears pricked in the corners of his eyes.

_Too close. Too close._

* * *

James was still confused by the runaway boy's action. _Why did he run away?_ A tight frown ghosted over his lips, as the children continued to talk to him.

"I see you've made yourself known with the kids." James jumped towards the sound of Kelly's voice and laughed breathlessly. He nodded to the older woman, while patting the heads of the children. Kelly graced them with a smile at the sight before her. James looked around but could not find Gustavo.

"Gustavo is finishing some managerial paperwork." She said as if reading James' mind. "I thought it would be nice to show you a tour of the house and meet all the kids." She explained gently. James nodded with a grateful smile. He excused himself from the group of children, with heartfelt goodbyes and a promise to be back.

Kelly took James up the stairs, pointing out children in the house and rooms. James listened carefully, greeting a new child every few minutes or so. Some had recognized James while others hadn't.

But James never stopped smiling. He'd be wishing to do this for years now, but in his heart he deeply wished Kendall was here with him. And actually adopting.

_Oh Kendall…_

"Well James, we have one more room left to go to. Have you given any thought to a child?" Kelly asked, pulling James from his somber thoughts. James swallowed and shrugged his older.

"Well some. Like I said a boy…if you're okay with my love life…" James said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper tinted with a bitter tone. Kelly's eyes softened at this. She knew James must get a lot of hate for his sexuality. All because of loving someone.

"I believe that is absolutely alright." She said lightly. James felt his jaw drop and Kelly laughed. "James, I don't care that you love another man. It never mattered to me - actually we have had quite a few adoptions for homosexual couples. It's not a problem for us, now the government…well they don't always see eye to eye with that." She sighed sadly. "But as long as you love this man, and you and Mr. Knight behave around a child, it does not matter to me." She winked and James laughed lightly. He couldn't believe his luck through all this. It kept getting better and better.

The two had reached the top floor by the time Kelly was done talking, and there was only one more room left. The door way was at the end of the hallway, closed.

"Thank you Kelly." James whispered. "This all means so much for me." Kelly grinned at the young man and led him to the door. A sudden thought occurred to James.

"Wait, Ms. Kelly. Is there another boy here? A little pale boy, with spiky brown hair and brown eyes?" James asked, remembering the runaway child. Kelly paused in her step causing James to accidentally walk ahead. He stopped when she said nothing. Slowly a gentle smile was on Kelly, and her eyes became a bit distant.

"Did you see this boy today?" She asked. James was taken aback by a question for a moment.

"Actually yes." He nodded. "Earlier when you were talking with Gustavo. I was in the room with all the kids and he was just standing in the doorway. He looked like he wanted to come in but he was hiding behind the door. I almost didn't see him. Then when I tried to speak to him and ran up the stairs as fast as he could." James explained; Kelly sighed but her smile remained.

"That would be Logan Mitchell. Our newest arrival. He's a shy five-year-old." Kelly said. James blinked. _Five? He looks like he's three._ "I know he's small but he's such a sweet boy. He just…is very shy and has trust issues." Kelly's voice had dropped lowly by the end of the sentence. James was curious again.

"Why does he have that? Isn't he a bit young for all that?" James asked. There was a sad and pained look on Kelly's face, and James regretted asking.

"Logan…he, well he, Logan came from a difficult home life. Actually a heartbreaking home life. And he had to learn at an early age that you can't trust everyone. He's had a rough past and is easily afraid of many others because of that." Kelly said vaguely. "His past was tough and now he's suffering because of it. But the point of this orphanage is to get him adopted into a better life.A life where he can forget his past and live happily." Kelly murmured dreamily. James rubbed his jaw with saddened eyes.

"He almost got adopted in the past. He was so close to a new home."

"What happened?" James couldn't help but ask. Kelly sighed again.

"The couple thought he would be problematic. They did not think they would be good enough to improve his life. They came and saw him and everything until paperwork day. Then they said they couldn't commit. We haven't heard from them since." James could feel his heartbreaking. _How could someone be so close only to have it all lost?_

Suddenly Kelly stopped James in front of the closed door and smiled. He hand reached for the doorknob and she spoke, "James I want you to meet little Logan." She said and opened the door.

James heartbeat was increasing by the second as he eagerly waited to meet Logan. He didn't know why but he wanted to meet Logan more than anyone. The shy boy had gotten his attention from the moment James first saw him. There was just something special about the little boy.

James peaked into the room to see the small, spiky haired boy from before, sitting on the bed with a book in his lap. He had yet to notice James and Kelly in the doorway as his tiny pink tongue stuck out in concentration of his book. James shifted where he was, only to have a floor board creak under his pressure.

Logan snapped his head up at the sound, and his eyes widened tremendously when he saw James and Kelly. The book was long forgotten on the bed as he froze. Once again, James saw a dark pink blush cover his cheeks.

When James took a step toward Logan, the frightened young boy scotched as far away from James as he could. Now James was beyond confused.

"I'm sorry. He's just a bit shy and frightened. Like I said." Kelly whispered gently. James nodded and rubbed his chin. Carefully he gave Kelly an award-winning smile.

"How about I talk with Logan? Let me get to know the boy." He suggested. A hint of a smile brushed over Kelly's face. She nodded and excused herself out of the room. Just as she was closing the door she spoke.

"Logan, honey. This is James. He's here for the 'Home For The Holidays' program. He just wants to talk to you and get to know you. Alright sweetie? I'll be just behind the door." And with that she closed the door, leaving James and Logan alone in the room.

Logan was curled up tightly on his bed, in a small ball. His knees were pressed up to his chest, with shaking hands over them. His eyes were wide and stared at James. For a moment, James was silent as he gathered his thoughts.

"Well, uh…" _What should I say? I bet he won't start talking first. Maybe if I talk he'll relax and join in._ James shrugged and decided to try. "Um, well like Ms. Kelly said, my name is James. And I'm looking into fostering with my fiancé. Um…I love to sing; actually I'm a professional singer as my career." James said with a small grin.

To his surprise Logan had pulled himself out of a ball, and was no longer shaking. At James' words, Logan had nodded at James. James blinked.

"You know?" Another small nod. "So you know who I am." One more timid nod and James breathed a relaxed sigh. "Well that's easier. But yeah, I love to sing. Obviously." He chuckled and Logan relaxed even further. "What about you, do you sing? Or like it?"

Nothing.

Until, Logan gave a small shake of his head and then a nod. "So you don't sing but you like it?" Logan nodded. "Oh. Cool…" James trailed off, trying to figure out what to say next. His eyes scanned over the bland, white room. He didn't see any pictures or photos on the wall, but a poster on the closet stopped him. James laughed with a smile, realizing who the picture was of.

The L.A. Kings.

Kendall.

"You like the L.A. kings?" Logan had followed with his eyes to what James was staring at. Upon seeing the poster, his chocolate eyes brightened dramatically. He gave James another nod. "And hockey, do you like to play hockey?" Logan paused in his thoughts and gave a hesitant nod. "What, do you not play?" A nod. "Do you want to learn?" After another pause Logan nodded, much to James' surprise.

"Oh you want to learn. Okay, that's so cool. You know my fiancé plays for the L.A. Kings." Logan's eyes widened even more, which James thought hadn't been possible. "Oh yeah. You know the captain, Kendall Knight?" Logan nodded eagerly. "Well that is my boyfriend and fiancé." At this Logan's mouth opened in a tiny 'o'. James laughed. "Yeah, Kendall. You know, I could get him to meet you. He would love to talk about hockey to someone else besides me. There's only so much hockey I can take from that guy, know what I mean?" James could have sworn he saw Logan crack a smile, and his own smile blossomed.

"He just loves hockey. But then he also loves me. Just like I love him." James sighed happily. Logan watched curiously. "Well Logan, how old are you?" Logan blinked at James but didn't say a word.

Instead he held up five fingers.

"Wow! Five? No way, you're kidding me right?" James said with a smirk. Logan's cheeks became a scarlet but on his lips were a hint of a real smile. James felt his heart soar. "I wish I were five again. Kids, you guys have it easy. No work, or bills or money problems. You guys just sleep, eat and have fun. Huh?" Logan gave another tiny nod. "That's amazing Logan. You're a good kid. You know that?"

James was shocked again. At this Logan's eyes casted downward, and his shoulders slouched sadly. His mood had drastically changed in a matter of seconds.

"Hey, you are." James said softly, making sure Logan looked into his eyes. His brows furrowed in confusion but said nothing else. Suddenly James grinned. "Hey Kelly come on back in!" He called.

The door opened in a second and Kelly bounded in with a bright smile. James grinned back at her.

"I think I've decided who I want to foster."

"Oh yeah? And who would it be?" A sly smirk.

"Logan." Logan snapped his head up and his jaw literally dropped open. He stared at James with absolute disbelief. James brushed it off. "Well, what do you say Logan?"

Kelly clasped her hands together and sucked in a breath. "Do you want to go home with James for 'Home For The Holidays'?"

Logan didn't answer for the longest time. His heads darted back and forth between James and Kelly. Finally he swallowed.

"Okay."

James beamed upon hearing Logan's voice. His voice was so small, but so polite. He had gotten Logan to speak, and he was going to make sure he opened Logan open. Kelly had released the breath she had been holding in relief.

James was going to give him the best Christmas ever.

* * *

"Well, these are things he must have every day." Kelly instructed while Logan finished packing a suitcase with clothes. James held his hand out and Kelly dropped an inhaler into his hand, along with a bottle of pills. In his other hand she gave James a red envelope.

Gustavo was finishing the last of Logan's paperwork.

"His inhaler should be given every day. Logan does have severe asthma, but he should be okay if you give it to him everyday." Kelly continued. "And this is anxiety medication. As you can probably tell, Logan get's very scared and very nervous. Which causes a great amount of anxiety for him. He needs to take one _everyday_. It'll be a hassle because he's always hated to take it. So good luck with that." She sighed. James took the components in her hand with a deep swallow.

Logan had finished packing his clothes by then and stood waiting for James at his bedroom door. James smiled softly at the boy and looked with a raised eye brow at the envelope Kelly gave him when Logan wasn't looking.

"Read this later. James, Logan really needs this. More than anything, Logan truly needs this chance." Kelly whispered with firm eyes. James nodded, already clearly hearing the underlined message. Logan needed _someone._

James quickly opened the envelope, when Kelly took Logan down the stairs, to find a letter in it. It was written in a messy scrawl of handwriting, with big letters and addressed to Santa Claus. His eyes scanned over the letter and his heart began to ache with every word. His eyes became a bit misty, (No he was _not_ crying) by the end and his heart very nearly broke.

Logan _really_ needed this.

X.X.X.X

Logan had been silent in the car ride to the airport. He was sitting close next to James – so he could be as far away from Gustavo as possible. He answered questions James had, usually with a nod or shake of his head, or occasionally speaking up. James' gentle smile never left his face and Logan continued to relax by it.

Once the quartet reached the airport, James stepped out of the cab first, followed by Gustavo and his secretary. James pulled Logan's small suitcase out of the trunk while Logan buried deeper in his overly large coat. When he was out of the cab, he looked straight at James with beautiful, young eyes. James beamed brilliantly and held out a gloved hand. Logan flinched slightly.

"Can I…hold your hand Logan?" He bit his lip, preparing for Logan to reject him. But once again, Logan surprised him.

And he took James' hand in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze.

* * *

**And all done for now. How'd you like this chapter? A little bit cute ad fluffy? I really loved writing James and Logan meeting one another, because they're just too adorable.**

**Well now Logan is about to come home with James. What is Kendall going to think? What about anyone else?**

**Thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Anything you wish to say can be left in a review. Thank you very much!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	3. Need

**Oh yeah, how's this for a fast update? Are you all happy? So the world hasn't ended and it looks like it won't. *Victory punch in the air* Yes now I can finish my stories! Happy Apocalypse guys!**

**Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I put a lot into it and I thought it was very adorable. Hopefully you all will agree! Also many of the reviews aren't people with accounts so I usually reply to reviews, but with those I can't so I'm going to reply here.**

**Scarlett: You always make me smile! Thank you so much and I'm very happy to hear you really like both my stories. Especially this one! Thanks for always reviewing both, and I know these three will be so perfect together. Little Logie is cute huh? ****Again, thank you!**

**LoveSparkle: Again, thank you very much for continuing to review and I'm very happy you've been hooked to this story! Very happy, so thanks! Glad you are ****. And yep, James does, not Kendall. But you'll see why later.**

**Anonymous: I should be able to update regularly now that I'm on break. Thank you for enjoying this!**

**Chazzy: Yes he is cute, isn't he? Haha, I shall. Thank you for your kind review! And you'll find out what he said in a couple of chapters! Don't worry :0**

**So thank you again, to all of you who have reviewed, faved or alerted this or me! THANK YOU! It always makes my day. So enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Need**

_December 4, 2011- Minnesota Airport_

"Are you hungry?" Logan jumped slightly, at the sudden voice right next to him. He turned his head to look up at James, realizing he was the one who had spoken. His heart rate slowed down a bit and he breathed a sigh of relief. He felt James squeeze his hand once, and unfamiliar warmth spread through his small chest.

He frowned for a second in confusion at the unfamiliar emotion. Suddenly, he realized James had asked a question and was waiting for an answer from him. He was about to answer when his stomach rumbled rather loudly. A dark blush painted over his cheeks again, while James laughed softly. His own cheeks were pink, and his nose was a bright red, but Logan figured it had something to do with the cold weather.

"Alright, how about we grab something to eat, real quick in the airport?" James said. He turned to Gustavo and his secretary. "Gustavo, you wanna get us checked in at the gate for your privet jet, while Logan and I get something to eat?"

"Well I would _dog_, but someone is bound to recognize you. And knowing you, you would get yourself in trouble." Gustavo grumbled and remained where his was. A pout played on James' lips.

"Oh yeah." James murmured softly. Here in Minnesota there was a rather _small_ population, but kids (lots of kids) had still recognized him. Other people surely would also.

"Wait, I know!" James reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a pair of black shades. Gustavo raised an eyebrow. "What? I never go anywhere with out my shades. Or without my "lucky comb"." James defended and put the glasses over his eyes. Logan watched curiously with a tad portion of amusement. James brushed his bangs back, off of his forehead with his hand and pulled the hood over his head. "There, now we have nothing to worry about. Besides no one knows about Logan, so they would never figure I'd be out with some little kid. It's all good, big man." James grinned smoothly in confidence.

Gustavo huffed at the male but headed off with his secretary. James watched them disappear before looking down at Logan. Logan's eyes were fixed on where Gustavo had left. His cheeks were rosy as he buried his face deeper into his scarf and James laughed to himself. Logan blinked and looked back up at James with those innocent brown eyes. Curiosity peaked in those eyes. _What is it about Logan that made me pick him? What's so special about him?_ James thought while Logan continued to watch him, full of innocence and curiosity.

_How could anyone hurt him?_

"You ready?" James broke the silence with his common, pearly white smile. Logan continued to hide in his scarf but gave a half nod. "Alright then let's see what they have here. Come on." He said gently and began to lead the way in the airport. For such a small town, the airport was defiantly busy with bustling people all over, running, walking or sitting. James subconsciously gripped Logan's hand tighter as he tried to weave in and out of the crowd of people.

They had to stop multiple times to see where they were or look at a direction sign for the airport. And multiple times James didn't know where to go. He was leading Logan all throughout the airport it seemed, but never once did they see any food. A tiny smiled graced Logan's lips as James lead them back around to find another sign, a small frown and lowered eyebrows stood out on his face.

Fortunately and elder woman noticed how lost James and Logan looked to be. Thankfully, she had asked if they needed to get directions somewhere, and out of relief James sighed and told her they wanted food. He explained that this was really the first time either of them had been to this airport – which was practically the truth. The woman had smiled and pointed westward and told them there was a food court just down the hall and to the right. James thanked the woman and led Logan in that direction.

He only stopped when the woman said goodbye, "Good luck to you and your adorable son." A lump had formed in James' throat and his eyes dilated for a split second before the mask went back on and he walked away. _Son? If only._

X.X.X.X

Once James had finally found the food court he relaxed once more and pulled Logan into the court. Instantly the aroma of many foods filled the air James breathed and he realized just how hungry he really was. Next to him, Logan's eyes were so wide James could see all the white in his eyes, as they darted all around from person to person and food station to food station. He hesitantly stepped closer to James' leg and clutched his pants with his free hand.

"You okay?" James asked. Logan snapped his head up towards James as fast as his could, eyes remaining wide and scared. Logan made no effort to move or answer for a few minutes. Then slowly, he nodded. "Alright, just stay close, okay? Now, what are you hungry for?" Logan blinked blankly at James, who frowned. "You know, what do you want to eat? Let's see there's…McDonald's…A Chinese stand…um, also what looks like to be an ice cream stand or…pizza."

Logan turned his gaze to the food stands James had named. His eyes went back and forth to each one, before he lifted a pale finger. Right at McDonald's. James chuckled and nodded. Normally he didn't really go to McDonald's. He liked to stay healthy, fit and in shape all the time so he never really ate fast food. But when he did, he did it to reward or _spoil_ himself every now and again.

"Alright, Mickey-D's it is." James chirped happily and headed for the line. It took longer than James wanted to wait in line and get their food. But they finally had their food, no one had recognized James and they were finally able to sit at a small, two-person table to eat. James could practically feel his mouth watering. Logan climbed onto the chair by himself, sitting on his knees to see and reached for a burger. Logan hadn't actually told James what he wanted so he ordered a simple meal for Logan. A burger, fries and a coke. Similar to what James had gotten.

Logan was hesitant at first just poking at his food, before James encouraged him to eat. He looked at James with those chocolate eyes of his – James nodded to him – and took a bite of the burger. Almost instantaneously his eyes brightened and his entire face lit up. It wasn't long before Logan was scarfing down the burger and soon his fries.

James laughed as he finished his own burger, when his thoughts began to roam. _You'd think he had never seen a burger before. Maybe he's never eaten one before? Could that be why he wouldn't eat it at first?_ His lips pressed into a thin line. Logan was oblivious to him as he continued to eat. _What had happened to him with his family? Were they neglectful? Did they die?_

"Whoa kiddo, slow down. Take a drink." James said pushing Logan's coke toward him. Logan paused in mid bite of about four fires and swallowed. He happily too the coke and washed the food down with it. James couldn't help but smile. _I really don't know anything about Logan. Why did I want him as much as I did? Why did he grab my attention? I know he was special, but what made him special? He hardly talks and he's so scared. It's defiantly not going to be easy, so why? _

_Why Logan?_

James was broken out of his thoughts when a waitress came to their table, with a large vanilla milkshake in her hand and a bright red cherry. She stopped at James' table and smiled.

"Sorry sir, you forgot about this." She explained and James nearly face palmed. He _had_ forgotten he ordered one. "Have a good day sir."

"Thank you very much." James grinned. Logan's eyes were now transfixed on the milkshake. James pushed it towards him.

"Here, you want some?" Logan stared at James once again in disbelief. "What? Don't you want to drink some of the milkshake?" At 'milkshake' Logan had cocked his head to the side. James frowned. "You've never had a milkshake before?" A nod from Logan and James swallowed. "Never?" Another nod. "Well you have to try it. It is just like ice cream only you drink it instead. It's nice and cold and delicious!" James said, putting two straws into the shake. Logan didn't move. "Here, look. I'll share it with you, see?" He sucked on his straw and allowed the cold drink to fill his mouth. He bent the other straw to Logan and pointed.

Carefully, Logan leaned in and put his mouth to his straw. In a matter of seconds his eyes were shinning brightly and a smile played on his lips. "Told you it was good." Logan gave James a nod and continued to drink with joy.

_How could anyone hurt him?_

* * *

_Los Angeles Airport- 8:30 p.m._

"Oh yes, it's so good to finally be home. Where it's warm." James stretched as the limo pulled up to their gate. Logan hung back behind James and looked around his new environment. He still had his large coat on despite the now 65 degree weather of California.

The plane ride had been rather eventful for James. It turns out Logan had never _ever _been on a plane before. He was very hesitant and scared to get onto the plane. It took James a lot of convincing and talking to finally get Logan on the jet. When he saw they were the only ones, besides Gustavo and his secretary, he began to calm down. Once the plane at taken off James saw a new side of Logan.

He saw true fear in Logan and felt his heart ache. He attempted many times to distract Logan with the TV or magazines or simply talking to Logan about Kendall. Luckily, his distractions worked. Logan had calmed down and wasn't thinking about flying up until the plane had landed safely in the LAX. Once they were there Logan couldn't get off fast enough. He was the first one off the jet, followed by James and then Gustavo and his secretary.

The limousine had pulled up next to them and the driver – dressed in a black suit and chauffer hat – headed out the driver door to open the back. Behind the limo, another expensive car pulled up. James was momentarily surprised to see Gustavo and his secretary get into that car with their bags.

"Look dog, I have to set up an interview or something now for Logan, back at Roque Records. Take the day off and short the kid your house. I expect you at Roque Records the same time as always tomorrow." Gustavo stated loudly. With that the car drove off and he was gone. James shook his head with a soft laugh.

The driver had already placed the bags into the trunk and was holding the door for James and Logan. Logan hid behind James upon seeing the stranger.

"Mr. Diamond, if you are ready we may leave for your house for you and your guest." His driver said in a British accent. James smiled and nodded, pulling Logan into the back of the limo. "Congratulations to you and Mr. Knight upon the fostering." James gave a warm smile to the driver, knowing he really meant it.

"Thank you Regenald." He said as the driver headed to the front seat. James buckled himself into one of the back seats before helping Logan with his own seatbelt. The young, boy was gazing in awe around the entire limousine causing James to snicker.

Regenald took off towards the house while James continued to talk to Logan. He was explaining to Logan who Regenald was when his phone suddenly went off, with a familiar ringtone. James felt his heart beginning to race in his chest, and his palms became sweaty. Fear and love coursed in his veins. He picked up the phone and pressed the 'answer' button.

"Hey Kendall."

"Hey there you." Kendall's voice filled the speakers and James had to smile at his lover. "How have you been?"

"Alright. Just miss you is all." James admitted quietly. He heard a sigh on the other line but he could hear the smile in Kendall's voice.

"Me too Jamie. I miss you too. You'd think I'd get used to it after so long huh?" He laughed tiredly. James laughed with his fiancé and grinned.

"Yeah, but when you're in love, it's always hard." James said gently. Kendall chuckled in agreement. "You sound exhausted."

"Oh, yeah, we just finished playing the game. We went into overtime twice. It was defiantly a long game." Kendall explained and James nodded to himself.

"Ah got it. But you won right?"

"Do you even have to ask?" James barked a playful laugh and sighed happily. "So what have you been up to while I'm here?" James' heart rate picked up once more and he swallowed thickly. His eyes darted to Logan for a second and then back to the seat in front of them. Words couldn't form from his mouth. _What do I say?_

"Oh nothing really." James lied.

"Really? You haven't been hitting on anyone while I'm gone? No flirting?" Kendall teased playfully. James shook his head even though Kendall couldn't see.

"Of course not. You're the only one I'd flirt with. Too bad you're not here. It is rather lonely without someone to hit on." James drawled out with a smooth voice. Kendall laughed again.

"That's good my Jamie. Nobody else get's any of your love, got it?" A nervous smile played over James' lips.

"I do." He said gently. "But no, nothing has been up. But Gustavo is trying to help promote my new album for next year. He wants me to get more publicity." It wasn't a complete lie at all, but it also was not the whole truth.

"More? Why on Earth would you need more?" Kendall asked. "Is he being a jerk again to you? Honestly, I don't know why you put up with that guy. He always makes you work and calls you a _dog_."

"That's just Gustavo." James shrugged. "He'll always be like that. And I mean you don't hate him. I know you have a soft spot for the big guy. Besides he _is _helping me become famous! And live my dream." James teased but the fear still remained in him. "Besides your coach is no walk in the park either."

"Touché" Kendall laughed quietly no longer upset. "Alright, alright. But he better be nice to you, or I'll personally come kick his ass." James laughed. He did know Kendall was being serious.

"Don't worry. He is." James licked his lips. Through the speaker he could hear a voice in the background and Kendall moving away from the phone.

"Hey I got to go Jamie. Carlos says we're going to have a team meeting and I have to be present." Kendall sighed. James sighed, realizing his lover had to hang up. "I'll talk to you again soon. I love you."

"Love you too." James smiled. "Bye." When Kendall said his goodbye James closed his phone with a tired sigh. Suddenly _he_ was exhausted.

He still hadn't told Kendall yet.

X.X.X.X

_James' house – 9:00 p.m._

James smiled once he opened the front door to his home. Despite how late it was, both he and Logan were still wide awake by the time they reached his house. "Well Logan. This is it. Welcome to my humble home." Humble may not have been the right word, considering James and Kendall lived in a mansion close to Hollywood. Both being quite famous for what they did, money usually never was a problem. And _sometimes_ Kendall would spoil James. Like with their house.

Logan breathed out sharply, his eyes wandering over every detail in the new house. His coat was now hanging from his arm, while James placed his suitcase by the front closet. He gently hung Logan's up while Logan remained mesmerized with everything. From the chandelier in the hallway, to the various works of art and photos on the way, all the way to the grand, beautiful staircase.

"So, shall I show you around the house? You're gonna be here a while, so I might as well show you where most things are. Then we can find something for dinner. Sound good?" James spoke up; Logan barely managed a nod, as his eyes continue to roam around brightly. James gently tugged on Logan's sleeve and led the boy down the hallway.

"First off, this is the kitchen. Everything you'll ever need for found can _always_ be found here." James began as they stepped into the room. Logan's eyes widened even more. The kitchen itself was much, much larger than the one at the orphanage. With a giant stainless steel refrigerator and appliances. The countertops were solid granite with cherry oak cabinets. A huge island was right in the center of the room with four barstools. "And the dinning room is in that room," James pointed to two glass doors to his left. "But we usually eat at the island unless lots of people or family is over. Like around holidays." James continued and headed to the left of the room. He led Logan into an even larger living room with double glass doors, leading outside. A mantle and fireplace took the center of the room with two lounge couches and a recliner chair.

"This is the living room. Back there is the game room." James pointed to a corner where Logan could see part of a pool table. "Downstairs is a bar. You don't need to be in that. And a theatre room. I'll show you that tomorrow." He winked and pulled Logan to the staircase. Logan remained silent unable to comprehend words with the house. "Outside, is the backyard, pond and pool. Now up here are all the bedrooms and a spa lounge." James shrugged with a soft smile.

James led Logan to a hallway with two doors directly across from each other. "This is mine and Kendall's room." He opened the door on the right to reveal the master bedroom. Once again the room was twice the size of the room Logan had to share back at the orphanage. "And this," James beamed and opened the door on the left. Logan gasped as he looked in. "Is your room."

The room was not as large as the master bedroom but it was still an impressive size for one person. The walls were bland and a dark brown color. There was a cherry oak desk with a lamp in the right corner; across from it was the bed with white bed sheets and dozens of pillows. An empty bookshelf stood along the left wall next to two double doors, which Logan assumed to be the closet. And right next to the desk was a window seat. It was a long window that stretched from the ceiling to the floor that gazed into the backyard and city lights of the night. Logan breathed out in awe.

He was absolutely stunned. _This was his room? All his?_ His wide eyes landed painfully on James with disbelief. James had to be joking, he had to be. He'd never had his own room before. There was no way James really meant this was all his. James didn't pay Logan much attention as he entered the room with a grin.

"I know it looks pretty boring. It was one of the guest rooms, and we didn't really make it for a little kid." James went off explaining. "But later this week you and I can go to some stores. We'll buy you some more new clothes to put in the closet. And also some toys. We'll have to buy those also, and books, right? You like to read don't you? So we'll have to get books. And we can get you a new bed set if you want something different. Something more childish."

Logan could feel tears pricking in the corners of his eyes as James continued to talk. His lip quivered. _He's not being serious. He's just lying and all of this is a dream. None of it is real, is it?_

"But tonight the room will just have to stay like this. We can start shopping tomorrow. Okay Logan – Logan?" James sucked in his breath when he caught the tears rolling down Logan's face and his small body trembling. His mind raced in a panic. _Did I say something wrong? Was it something I said or did!?_

"Logan? Logan, what's wrong?" James asked and knelt down in front of the crying child. Logan shook his head and rubbed his eyes; his breath was beginning to hitch. "Please don't cry. Did I say something wrong? Please Logan, what's wrong?" He begged. Logan shook his head and only continued to cry.

"T-This i-is a-all a d-dream, i-isn't i-it?" He choked out through quiet sobs. His little hands were rubbing his eyes, as more tears leaked down his face. James swallowed thickly.

_How could anyone have hurt him?_

"No, no, no Logan. It's not. This isn't a dream, I promise you." James whispered softly. Logan flinched when James tried to touch his shoulder. He pulled his hands away and James could finally see Logan's teary and red eyes. "Oh Logan. No, this isn't a dream. I promise you. This can be your room. You can do whatever you want to okay? I promise it's not a dream."

"W-Why a-are y-you b-being n-nice?" Logan hiccupped and sniffled loudly. James reached behind him and pulled a tissue box off the shelf. He handed it to Logan and smiled shakily.

"Because Logan, people are supposed to be nice. Especially to good kids. Just like you." He whispered gently. Logan hiccupped and sniffled some more, but it seemed his tears were slowing down. "I promise it'll be okay, alright?" No answer. James stood up and held out his hand. "How about we order some pizza for dinner, alright?"

The warmth in Logan's chest returned and his breath hitched. Though his tears were still falling, he wasn't so sad anymore. And with shaking fingers, he grabbed James' hand once more.

_Maybe, it's not a dream…_

X.X.X.X

_December 5, 2011- 8:45 a.m._

James stretched, feeling his back popping and cracking. With a satisfied smile he grabbed his cup of coffee and sat at the island in the kitchen in front of his laptop, recalling last night.

Logan hadn't fully calmed down after the little episode until half an hour later, just as a pizza man arrived. After giving the man the money and signing an autograph for his daughter, James sat the pizza down next to Logan. They ate pizza in the kitchen, with James simply talking to Logan about his job and the house some more. Logan was hesitant to eat at first but managed to eat one and a half slices in the end. His tears had stopped and his eyes dried. And by his last half of pizza, he was even gently talking to James. Though he only talked in one or two sentences at a time, it was enough for James. He simply wanted to cheer Logan up.

Hopefully he had done that.

Going to bed had been awkward. James had walked Logan to his room and allowed the boy privacy to change in his pajamas. Once Logan opened the door James couldn't help but add pajamas to the list of things Logan needed. It seemed like everything was too big on his tiny body. James had stood in the door way, not knowing what to do when Logan crawled into his bed. An awkward silence had hung over before James stuttered a good night. He attempted to tuck Logan in, and almost – he almost – kissed Logan good night. Instead he patted the bed and turned off the light. He promised Logan he would leave the light on in the hallway and his door closed. Finally, he promised Logan if he needed anything he was welcome to come get him in his own room.

Currently, Logan was still fast asleep in his bed, no doubt exhausted from yesterday's events.

James smiled into his coffee as his search of Christmas trees came up on the browser. He focused on the web page, concentrating on all the trees and the location, so much he hadn't even heard the front door open. He hadn't even noticed or heard the footsteps coming closer and closer to him. In fact he hadn't even noticed the person behind him, until two arms grabbed his waist and jerked him from his seat. A warm breath suddenly tickled his neck just as the person spoke.

"Mhm, looking at trees without me already? Did you not miss me?"

* * *

**And scene. Lol, yep I had to end it there, it was getting a bit long. Sorry this was sort of a filler chapter with fluff, thoughts and a teeny bit of angst. Poor, poor Logiebear, I wonder whatever happened to him. Thanks for reading and I hoped you all enjoyed this chapter. Now who could this person be? **

**Any how, thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Drop it all off in a review please! They always make me smile.**

**Also as a disclaimer I do not own BTR nor do I make money off them.**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	4. Why?

**Hey! Hey! Another very quick update, hooray! Hope that makes you all happy this Saturday. I love having so much time to write!**

**Anyhow this chapter was amazing to write. Seriously, it was great and I couldn't stop. It's a bit sad thought ****. I still hope you all enjoy it.**

**Also to the anon from chapter 1, I took everything you said into consideration. And really that's been my goal all along! I hope to update everyday! And maybe I will for a Christmas present. :0 Maybe…**

**So enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR, only this plot. So do not sue for slash and using the guys.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Why?**

_December 5, 2011_

James' heart was literally pounding in his chest, beating much too fast than it should. His eyes had widened in fear and throat was becoming too dry. Beads of sweat were already forming on the side of his face and neck, and rolled down his face. Never before had he been so scared in his life. He'd never needed to feel this scared before. Especially considering who had grabbed him.

No he had not been abducted. And no it was not a criminal. It was something much worse in fact.

It was Kendall.

Home early.

"Hey now, why are you squirming?" The warm breath tickled his throat and ear. The same breath that always turned him on before. That is, until right now. "Did I scare you good? You didn't even hear me come in. I was surprised."

James swallowed thickly trying to force his heart to calm down. At the moment he was losing. "U-Uh, yeah. You just scared me pretty good." James laughed nervously. He could feel Kendall smiling into his neck as the shorter boy pulled him closer. James twisted around in Kendall's grip so he could properly face Kendall and see his face.

God he was so confused.

Upon seeing Kendall's face again, James' heart went into a new kind of overdrive. One of love and lust for his fiancé. Yet, at the same time, he could feel the fear and nerves running through his body, never stopping or leaving. James wanted to smile. He wanted to laugh and hug Kendall as tightly as he could. He wanted to sweep up Kendall himself, and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. He had god to honestly, missed his 'Kenny'.  
But at the same time, James was – for the first time – terrified of Kendall being here with him. The fear was the only thing stopping him from pouncing on the blonde male. Because, he had _never_ told Kendall about their situation.

"What? No welcome home kiss?" Kendall pouted. James wanted to jump Kendall right there, because even though Kendall was twenty-three he still had the cutest pout James had ever seen. Instead James tried to control his breathing. He gave Kendall a nervous smile.

"After scaring me like that? You think you deserve one?" He asked breathlessly. He had to commend himself for being able to lie and for not stuttering. Kendall was the only person who could make _the_ James Diamond stutter like a fool.

Kendall smirked at James and leaned in towards the brunette. He went pass James' lip and went straight for James' ear. Kendall knew that was one of James' most sensitive spots.

"Aw come on babe. I didn't mean to scare you." Kendall sighed playfully. James shuddered when he felt Kendall nibble on his ear. The fear in him was able to resist a moan. "You were just so perfect to scare. You hadn't heard me at all. I'm sorry." Kendall continued to nibble along James' ear lobe. James repressed another shudder and put his hands on Kendall's chest. He tried to push Kendall off, but his arms felt too much like jello and Kendall wasn't about to let go.

"I don't know if I should – _ngh_ – forgive you." James murmured shakily. His eyes darted over Kendall's shoulder to look into the hallway. Just to make sure _he_ wasn't up yet. Maybe there was _still_ time to tell Kendall quickly.

"Please? I said I was sorry." Kendall breathed. James' breath hitched.

"Why are you here? I thought you wouldn't get home until Saturday?" James suddenly asked. At this Kendall pulled away from James to look him in his eyes. A bushy eyebrow was raised in curiosity, and a thin line was over his lips. James flashed a smile quickly.

"I just said that so you would be surprised when I came home. Besides we originally were going to go home tomorrow, but I convinced my coach to let Carlos and I fly home this morning." Kendall said still frowning. _He was being suspicious._ "I wanted to surprise you. Aren't you happy?"

James hugged Kendall as fast as he could. "Oh yes, of course. I am, but you scared me at first and like you said I'm surprised. Very surprised." James said smoothly. "I didn't expect this at all, but I _am_ happy Kendall." To prove his words, James leaned in to peck Kendall on the lips. Twice. When he pulled away he saw Kendall's frown had become a smirk and he could breathe in relief again.

"Alright. You sure you're not hiding anyone here? A secret boyfriend or lover you don't want me to know about?" Kendall joked. In the beginning Kendall couldn't joke about that, because James would get very offended and hurt. But over the years James learned it was just another way Kendall said, 'I love you'.

"No, I made sure they went home last night." James smirked, finally able to talk to Kendall without being terrified for a moment. Kendall laughed and pulled James by the waist right up to his chest. His green eyes locked into James' hazel ones.

"Too bad. They're going to miss a good show." Kendall purred, and _damn_ if that didn't turn James on he didn't know what would. James grinned shakily at Kendall when he leaned in to kiss James on the mouth. James pushed into the kiss with force that caused Kendall to fight back. For just a moment, James completely forgot about everything else in the world. His mind was filled with lust and Kendall and that was it.

Until Kendall broke away.

"Mhm, I really did miss you." Kendall grinned. James breathed deeply, eyes scanning behind Kendall once again. He was still making sure _he_ wasn't up yet. Kendall leaned into James again, trailing his lips along James' neck and onto his collar bone. James tried to push Kendall back, but his body wasn't helping him. Kendall trailed his kisses all along the bone and his neck, and it was only getting harder to fight back. "Come on. Let's do something right here. Right now; don't worry I've got you." Kendall said hotly. James nearly groaned.

Normally he would never fight Kendall like this, except for dominance. And in any other circumstance he would have allowed Kendall to do this. It wouldn't be the first time something had happened in the _kitchen_.

"K-Kendall. Not here. Not right now." James hissed pushing his hands against Kendall's shoulders. Kendall, oblivious to James' fighting, only continued to kiss James. His hands were running all across James' chest and stomach, trailing around – _teasing_ – and falling lower.

"Kendall, not in the kitchen." James pleaded. Kendall laughed.

"Why not? We're the only one's here. No one's going to see us…or interrupt us." Kendall purred. _Oh how wrong you are_. Kendall pressed harder into James who tried to wiggle out of Kendall's grip. "Hey come on, I know you want this."

God he really did.

"It's fine. We've done this hundreds of times before. We're all alone James." Kendall continued despite James' protest. "You want this and so do I, so why do you keep fighting?"

"B-Because I said n-no Kendall!" James squeaked pushing harder against Kendall. Now Kendall was getting frustrated. Sexually and mentally.

"Oh really? You don't sound like you don't want this." Kendall growled and yanked on James shoulder. "Quit fighting!"

"Kendall no! I said stop!"

"You don't mean it."

"Kendall! Q-Quit it!"

"Yeah right."

_Creak_. James and Kendall both immediately froze at the sound of a door being pushed open. Their breathing was heavy, and faces red. Kendall glanced down at James to see his fiancé's eyes were wide with terror. James' breathing had quickened.

Kendall believed that someone had broken into the house. He thought there was an intruder and that was why James was so afraid. Quickly Kendall pulled a stunned James behind him and his eyes narrowed. No one was going to touch his _Jamie_. He straightened his back and looked towards the opening of the kitchen. His own eyes widened to the size of saucer at the sight.

Kendall felt his breathing stop and his own heart beat was now beating much to fast. For there wasn't a robber or intruder in the door way. Instead there was a tiny, little brown haired boy standing there. He was wearing long green-stripped, pajamas and he was hiding behind the door slightly. His brown eyes were wide with fear and his face was white.

Kendall had never seen this boy before.

He looked back down at his scared fiancé to see James' eyes were locked onto the little boy. A million questions ran through his mind, and he tried to open his mouth only to close it. For five whole minutes no one moved an inch. And the only sound was James' and Kendall's heavy breathing. Kendall blinked once; twice; even three times but the boy never went away.

He was _really_ standing there.

James thought his heart was actually going to explode, right there at that moment. It was pounding in his chest, his ears, and behind his eyes. If he had thought he was scared before, he was a million times worse now. A lump had formed in his throat when Kendall didn't say anything. And Logan…oh Logan looked so afraid.

_Why couldn't Kendall say something? Anything!_

Finally he did."James…" He growled.

"K-Kendall, n-now listen. T-This is Logan. L-Logan Mitchell." James stuttered out finally. He waved his hand towards the brown eyed boy, and Kendall's eyes narrowed. "Logan this is m-my fiancé K-Kendall." He'd never been this scared before. It was awful.

"L-Logan is five Kendall. H-He's an orphan f-from Minnesot-ta." James said fearfully. Kendall never took his dark eyes off James. "H-He's part of a p-program called 'H-Home For the H-Holidays'." James squeaked. Internally Kendall felt awful that James looked so terrified, but he was far too angry to care. "I-It's a program, where p-people can foster a kid for o-one month over C-Christmas and New Y-Years. G-Gustavo showed me it. A-And I met L-Logan yesterday morning. A-And he came h-here."

James shut his mouth tightly after that. Slowly, Kendall let go of James and stood up. He moved away from his shaking fiancé, ignoring the broken look in his eyes. Taking a deep breath Kendall faced Logan. He had replaced his anger with a fake and brilliant smile with warm eyes. Besides James, Kendall was a professional at faking looks.

"Hi there Logan. My name is Kendall Knight. James'…fiancé. It so nice to meet you." Kendall chirped in a fake cherry voice. Logan scotched back at bit but nodded at Kendall. His eyes went back ad forth from James to Kendall. Kendall snapped his gaze at James and gave him a _look_.

James got the message. "Hey now Logan," He began, no longer starting. Kendall watched at James gave the boy a real and soft smile. "Kendall and I have to talk about grown-up stuff. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll meet you up there? Okay?"

Logan remained where he was looking very dubious at James. A tiny pout stuck out on his face and Kendall was sure he wasn't going to listen. But then, the boy nodded and turned away. He dashed up the stairs faster than Kendall had ever seen a child go.

After he was sure the boy wouldn't hear them, he turned on James. And he was absolutely furious.

"_What_ was _that?_" Kendall nearly screeched. James raised his hands up in attempt to quiet Kendall. But Kendall swatted James' hands away sharply.

"Look Kendall I can explain –"

"You _better_ explain!" Kendall hissed eyes sparking with fury. James swallowed and shrunk back. "I leave for two days – two days! – and I come home to this! Do you always go behind my back when I leave!?"

"No Kendall! Please I wouldn't –" James pleaded.

"You wouldn't what?! Go out and pick up some _random_ kid right when I'm gone?! You mean you _didn't_ go behind my back?!" Kendall interrupted hotly. His fist slammed down on the counter and James flinched.

"Please Kendall. Be quiet. Logan will hear you." James begged and Kendall nearly snapped again right then. He clenched his jaw so tight that his teeth began to hurt.

"Be quiet? _Be quiet?!_ For Logan!" Kendall hissed, but much to James' relief it was a furious whisper. "Is _Logan _more important now huh? Is that why you never told me anything? Did you really think you were going to _get away_ with this James!?"

"No Kendall, please I-I never thought –"

"Then what _were_ you thinking!?" Kendall interrupted once again. He ignored the broken look James had on and the tears collecting in his fiancé's eyes. Kendall had been known for his temper. "Tell me James, what _exactly_ were you thinking when you went through with this all, huh?" By now the tears _had_ fallen down from James' eyes. "Tell me why you decided to go and freaking adopt some kid, _behind my back_, when we've gone over this a hundred times!" James choked back a sob at those words. _You're wrong!_

"Kendall please I didn't plan this!" James cried softly. "I didn't plan to go behind you back at all –"

"And yet you _did_!" Kendall spat. More tears ran down James' face.

"I know! But please! Gustavo told me about it _after_ you left. I never even thought about it when you were leaving!" James pleaded brokenly. "I never planned to hurt you!"

"So if _Gustavo_ asks you to lie to your fiancé you will?" Kendall seethed. James shrunk back more. His vision was so blurry from tears that he could not longer see Kendall's face.

"No!" James cried.

"Then _why_ did you do it!?" Kendall growled. James only whimpered. "Unbelievable. We've gone over this. We've agreed _no kids_! But you lied to me James. You lied and went behind my back. How could you?" Kendall said lowly. James squeaked a sob to answer but Kendall wasn't hearing it. "I can't believe you James. This is over."

And with that Kendall stormed out of the kitchen. He stormed straight up to their room and slammed the door shut. Not once did he look back at his broken James. Not once did he try to comfort his sobbing fiancé. And not once did help James.

James sank to the floor burying his face into his knees. He'd messed up this time.

Big time.

X.X.X.X

It was an entire twenty minutes that James spent crying all alone to himself in the kitchen. Kendall never left his rom. So James was left alone to cry his broken heart out. Crying Kendall's name over and over in a whisper. But Kendall never came down.

It took him another five minutes to fully stop crying. His eyes were puffy and red, his face blotched from tears. His hair was a mess and his shirt was soaked with snot and tears. But he had finally run out of tears. So he just sat there staring brokenly at the tiled kitchen floor. His heart was aching in his chest falling apart by the minute.

_Kendall…_

As he stared at the floor a pair of tiny, bare feet came into his sight. He looked up at the person in shock, to see little Logan standing right in front of his. He was still in his pajamas and his hair was messy from sleep. But his eyes were wide with fear and concern. _Finally some concern._

James stared at Logan, secretly glad he wasn't still crying, and Logan spoke.

"Are you okay?" His voice was so small and so scared. It was almost a whisper and if James wasn't sitting on the floor he might have missed it. James blinked and Logan swallowed. "Are you alright James?"

The young boy hadn't heard any of the fighting or heard James crying. But he knew James was upset by the look on James' face. Only living with James a day and he knew a smile always belonged on James' face, not a broken look that he knew all too well.

Suddenly, a wobbly smile broke out on James' face and Logan hesitated. _How could anyone hurt him?_ Upon the small smile, Logan allowed himself to sit down right next to James. He moved right next to James, so his legs were touching James' thigh and James smiled some more.

"J-James." Logan whispered. James raised an eyebrow. "C-Can I give you a h-hug?" James felt his mouth open in surprise. Logan _wanted_ to give _him_ a hug? _Logan_? Carefully James nodded. Then, ever so slowly and cautiously, Logan wrapped his tiny arms around James' waist. His entire body was trembling and his face was white but Logan never let go.

And finally James' heart stopped breaking.

* * *

_December 6, 2011- 11:30 a.m._

A day had gone by and James and Kendall never talked once. Kendall remained in their room or in the gym. James had taken to "sleeping" on the couch. But he never slept. He tossed and he turned all night long missing his bed and the warmth of Kendall.

The only problem was, both boys were _very_ stubborn.

So neither spoke to one another. James kept Logan company and talked to him. Sometimes they would watch TV or James would read Logan a book. Ever since yesterday Logan had refused to leave James' side unless he was asleep. He was one step behind James everyday. And that always brought a soft smile on James' face.

At the moment, Kendall was down stairs waiting for his best friend, Carlos Garcia, to arrive. Kendall had finally called Carlos this morning, telling the Latino he needed someone to talk to. Carlos agreed right away when he heard James and Kendall were fighting.

While Kendall was in the gym downstairs, James sat at the living room couch watching a children show with Logan. He was trying to get Logan to find a favorite TV he could watch. Carlos had finally arrived.

He let himself in, knowing James and Kendall never cared as long as they were home. He walked down the main hallway to the set of stairs that led to the basement. From the corner of his eye he caught James sitting on the couch. Hesitating, Carlos looked at James' face.

He had never seen so much pain on James' face before. He looked so lost and it hurt Carlos to see the pain in his friend's face. His heart went out for James, even though he was here for Kendall. A tiny head had bobbed up next to James and Carlos stopped in his tracks. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he was _actually_ seeing a little boy next to James.

And he was.

Knowing this was what the fight was about; Carlos couldn't help but smile at the gentle smile James got on from looking at the little boy. _He finally did it._

Carlos left to go downstairs, knowing Kendall was waiting for him. He took a deep breath before entering the gym. He never liked picking sides. Kendall was right in the gym as he said, running on the treadmill in the back. His face was red and his lips were curled in a tight frown, and the expression in his eyes was one Carlos was familiar with.

Fury.

Kendall remained on the treadmill for a few minutes before realizing Carlos was there. He hoped off with a warm and grateful smile. Carlos waved and sat down while Kendall wiped his face with a towel. With a childish grin he handed Kendall water and the two sat in a comfortable silence.

Carlos figured it was time. "So, how have you been?"

Kendall kept his gaze down to the floor and his knuckles were white. "Been better." He bit out. Deep down, Carlos knew it was killing Kendall to fight with James.

"I bet." Carlos sighed. "So you want to tell me what exactly happened between you two, and why my favorite couple is currently not speaking to each other?" He knew it was a long shot but he had to be blunt around Kendall. Kendall sighed.

"James lied to me and went behind my back. That's what's up." He growled and threw the towel to the ground. For a moment Carlos was taken aback. "No, no, not like that. He didn't cheat. He just lied about something very, _very _big. He might as well have cheated."

"Kendall!" Carlos gasped and whacked his friend on the back of his head. "James would never, don't _even _say that."

"I'm sorry." Kendall whispered quietly. Satisfied, Carlos continued.

"So what did he lie to you about man?"

"He went behind my back when I was in Texas and went and _fostered_ a child without telling me anything! He completely went behind my back!" Kendall said angrily. "He never called me or anything about this. I just come home to surprise him and this little boy walks in! Some boy I have no idea who he was!"

Carlos nodded at Kendall. He knew not to interrupt Kendall. "I see why you're mad. That was wrong of James to do." He said honestly.

"And the worst part is we've already talked about this!" Kendall continued. "We've already agreed we don't want kids and then he goes and pulls this stunt!"

Now Carlos was getting a bit mad. _You have no idea do you?_ "Now wait, just hold on Kendall. Are you sure you _both_ have talked to each other about this? Are you _sure_ James has always said he doesn't want any?" He pressed on, trying to give Kendall a hint. But the blonde was blind to it.

"Yes! We've both agreed to this!"

"No. You both _haven't_." Carlos bit out, stunning Kendall into silence. "Kendall, look, you have no idea what James feels. You are so concerned with your answer, you think it's final. When actually, James' answer is the opposite." Kendall stood agape at Carlos.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, James has _always_ wanted to have kids with _you._ Ever since you two started dating, he's dreamed of that." Carlos sighed.

"So now you're siding with James?!"

"In a way. But only because you haven't listened to James, Kendall. You have no idea that he really _does _want kids. The only reason he agreed was because he hated arguing with you about it. He said it wasn't worth fighting." Carlos said gently. "He stopped talking to you about it and bringing it up, because he knew you weren't about to change your mind. You just never listened to him."

"Carlos, I thought you were here to help me as your friend." Kendall accused angrily with a hint of sadness. Carlos sighed again and patted Kendall's back.

"I am Kendall. And I always will be here to help you but this is between you and James. You _need_ to talk to him Kendall. Honestly you do. I hate seeing you and James fight, because you guys are so in love with one another, it's awful to see you fight." Carlos murmured and stood up. "You love each other. Are you really going to throw it all away – throw James away, before you guys even get married?"

Kendall was silent.

"James, he really does look sorry Kendall. He looks so lost and broken now." Carlos said. "It's your choice Kendall on what you do next. This is your decision." With that Carlos headed back up the stairs and out of sight, leaving Kendall to his own thoughts.

The somber and empty blonde sat there thinking.

_Should I forgive him? Or leave?_

* * *

**Sad huh? Poor guys. But now Carlos has been introduced to the story! Yay, all four of them are there now! Don't worry, Carlos is still a childish goof!**

**And yeah…how was that for a chapter? Expecting that reaction from Kendall? Whose side are you on: James or Kendall's? I'm curious. I tell you who I think are right in the next chapter, so tell me your opinion! Now, please note that Kendall was angry, yes, and he really has a legitimist reason as to why he doesn't want kids. He's not a heartless jerk. Just a jerk. But he had real reason, which you will find out in a couple of chapters :0.**

**Thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Please leave it all off in a review, please!**

**Thanks and peace out! **


	5. Forgiveness

**Hey! Yay, so far I've been updating everyday! Is that good for you all? And yay, I loved to get all of your opinions on whose side you were on. Me? I am defiantly on James' side (no not because I love him), because even though he made a huge mistake, Kendall never listened to him in the past. And no spouse should ever feel like that. It's wrong.**

**Well anyhow, THANK YOU to all the reviewers out there! And to all those who fave and alert this story! It makes my day.**

**I don't know when I'll update again. Today and tomorrow I am having a LORD OF THE RINGS movie marathon. Yeah baby! Gonna watch me some middle earth drama with Aragorn! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Forgiveness**

_December 6, 2011- 8:45 p.m._

James had never thought his mansion was that big really. He'd never put much consideration into it before. Until now. Without Kendall by his side, James finally realized how big the house really was and how hallow it was. Just like his aching heart.

James knew Carlos had come over to see Kendall; he wasn't surprised at all. Carlos had come, stayed for less than an hour and left without a word. But he did pause in leaving to look at James. When James looked back at Carlos, the shorter friend sent James a sympathetic smile and left. James had to smile at that.

For the remainder of the day Logan and James watched TV and ate. Logan sat right next to James the entire time. Luckily, this lifted up James' spirits, if only slightly.

By the time dark came around, Logan was growing sleepy and yawning. James announced it was time for bed, and helped the five-year-old up the steps. Logan changed into his loose pajamas (James promised they would go shopping again before the weekend) and went under his covers. He pulled the covers up to his chin and looked at James with wide, innocent eyes. James patted the bed and Logan's pillow, before saying goodnight.

He was reaching to turn off the lamp when Logan spoke up.

"Where's Kendall?" Two words were all it took. It only took two words to make James nearly loose control. His throbbing heart began to ache again in his chest. Logan stared on. _He has no idea._

Putting on a brave face, James smiled gently and patted the bed. "He's been busy with work. Hockey requires a lot of time. He'll be home…soon." _I hope._ James promised and Logan nodded.

Logan seemed satisfied with the answer, because the timid, scared little boy was quickly nodding off to sleep. When he breathing evened out, James stood up shakily. His gaze lingered on Logan, fast asleep, for another moment or two, before he turned off the light. He stood in the doorway longer than he needed to and left silently, leaving the door open.

He stared into _their_ room with sad eyes and leaned against the wall heavily. A cloud of gloom had gathered above James and his spirits sunk lower than ever.

_Kendall…_

James noticed Kendall wasn't in the room. He hadn't even seen Kendall all day. _He's not going to come up, is he?_ James thought sadly before trudging into the room. His shoulders were hunched and his back was arched, as if a great weight was on top of his back.

More like a great _heart ache._

Like a zombie, James went through his nightly routine numbly. He showered, washed his face and put his pajamas on. Just before going to bed, James simply stood and stared at the empty bed. His gaze was so dull it was frightening.

_Kendall…_

He was about to get under the covers when his cell phone went off. Numbly, he went into the bathroom to find the phone in his jeans. Once he did find the ringing cell phone he shut the bathroom door and looked at the caller ID.

Gustavo Roque. _Damn._

"Hello?" James asked hoarsely. Instantly the speakers of his phone were filled with loud, yelling. James flinched violently.

"Dog! You didn't even show up today!" Gustavo started angrily. James slapped his forehead. He had completely _forgotten_ about work.

"Sorry Gustavo I –"

"Or yesterday! Two days dog, _two days_ you didn't show up!" Gustavo was also furious. A headache began to form in James and his chest was tightening. _Some one else was yelling at him?_ "Where the hell were you!? I ask you to come into work and you can't even do that dog? Seriously!?"

"Gustavo, I'm sorry –" James croaked.

"Sorry doesn't cut it! Do you want to end up a failure? Do you not want to sing!?"

"No! I do!"

"Then why can't you do ANYTHINGright, dog!?" Gustavo roared. James couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. "It's your job to sing! It's my job to make sure you work and are amazing! You just have to make my job harder, don't you!?"

That was it for James.

He couldn't take anymore. He could hold in anymore.

Finally James broke. Heart wrenching sobs tore from his throat; tears raced down his red cheeks, and he couldn't breathe anymore.

"Dog? Uh…uh…" Gustavo's anger had dissolved in a snap, upon hearing James' sob. Now he was _very_ uncomfortable. Panic etched in his voice. Gustavo had no idea what to do or what to say. He'd never, ever seen or heard James cry before. _Had he really been that mean?_

"Look dog…uh…I…"

James cried even harder, curling himself into a ball, while Gustavo paniced. What should he do? What was he supposed to say?

"I-I-I'm s-sor-rry! I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!" James sobbed over and over. Gustavo was feeling absolutely guilty for the first time ever and he couldn't figure out what to say. James went on.

" P-Plea-ase! I-I-I'm s-sor-rry!" He wailed.

"Uh…d-dog…uh…s-stop…it's f-fine…" Gustavo stuttered dumbly. Nothing seemed to be calming James down. Gustavo didn't have a clue on what to do or say. He was really beginning to panic now about James.

* * *

Downstairs, Kendall was finally leaving the gym. Carlos' words from earlier were still haunting his mind. He'd been thinking everything over for hours now. And he had finally made a decision.

Quietly, Kendall walked up both sets of stairs, body stiff and eyes tired. He rubbed his face, exhausted with the past events. A dull ache had been throbbing Kendall's heart ever since he and James had fought in the kitchen.

He missed James so, so much. Despite how angry he was, he really missed his fiancé and all he wanted was to have his James back.

He walked down the hallway looking to his right, purposely avoiding the room Logan was sleeping in. He didn't want to deal with anything right now.

Upon entering _their_ bedroom, Kendall noticed the bathroom light on. _Was James in there?_ As if to answer Kendall's question, he could hear frantic sobs coming from the other side of the bathroom door.

His eyes widened with each sob and his broken heart started to beat faster and faster. _James!_ A pit of guilt pooled in Kendall's stomach and he quickly ran to open the door.

The sight broke his aching heart.

There on the floor, knees to his chest, was James bawling his eyes out. His cheeks were red and shiny, telling Kendall James had been at this for a while. Clutched to his ear, in his right hand, was his cell phone. Kendall could clearly hear Gustavo's stuttering, _stupid_ voice.

And Kendall saw red.

He snatched the phone out of James' hand, ignoring the stunned whimper he received. Nostrils flaring, Kendall put the phone to his ear.

"Listen here _Roque,_" He spat with such menace and James stared with teary eyes in shock. "I don't know what _you_ said to James and I don't _care_. But if I _ever_ hear you yell at him again, or catch him _crying_ with you on the phone, you're going to regret it. I'm going to make sure you regret every laying _eyes_ on James, _got it_?"

There was a frantic yes and Kendall growled. "Now don't bother James unless _I_ say so!" With that he hung up the phone and tossed the phone into _their_ room.

For a while, neither male spoke. They were both too afraid of the other's reaction. Kendall had sunk to the floor and James had curled up even tighter away from Kendall. James honestly believed Kendall was still mad and hated him. He tried to stifle his crying in front of Kendall.

Finally, Kendall broke the silence. "James…we need to talk. About everything."

James swallowed thickly. But he was very unprepared for when Kendall grabbed him by the waist, and practically shoved James' face into his chest. James lay awkwardly, unsure of what to do until Kendall started rubbing his back gently. James latched on tightly with his own arms, ready to never let Kendall go.

His tears fell freely again as new sobs wracked his body.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry Kendall!" James cried into Kendall's shirt, voice muffled by it. Kendall forced the lump down his throat and swallowed. Gently he began to stroke James' hair and hum to him gently. James continued to apologize multiple times for five minutes, before he was simply sniffling.

Gently, Kendall leaned down and kissed James' forehead. "I'm sorry James. I love you. I always will." James' lips trembled at those words and this time he wanted to cry with joy. But instead he took a deep breath and snuggled closer to Kendall.

"I-I really wanted to tell you Kendall. Really, I did, as soon as it happened." James' voice was hoarse and thick with tears. It made Kendall want to cry.

"But, why didn't you?" Kendall asked softly. James sniffled loudly.

"I was…I was afraid you were going to tell me _no._ I was so scared you _weren't_ going to let me and reject the idea." James mumbled. Kendall blinked. "I _really _wanted this."

"James…" Kendall paused, trying to get the right words out. "James, have you…been wanting kids?"

James answered as fast as he could, deciding not to lie anymore. "Yes. I have."

Kendall was stunned right then. Carlos had been right. He'd really been right about what James wanted.

"You were so against having kids I…I just stopped talking about it. It wasn't worth bringing it up anymore." James said quietly. The guilt had doubled in Kendall's stomach by then.

"But James…why did you do this?" Kendall asked, changing the subject slightly. James sighed shakily.

"Look, Gustavo said I needed more publicity for my new album. Something big and good. He said this was a perfect way to look good and would help against those negative critics against yours and my marriage. An innocent kid would help." James explained. "It was good for publicity, but I was so surprised. I could care for a kid. I had jumped at the idea because I've wanted to do this for years. I've really wanted to do this. And it's only fostering for a month. I would never adopt because you wouldn't want that. It's fostering for one month. Just through the holidays. I promise." James begged quietly. "Logan needed a home. He truly does."

Kendall was silent for a long time. "I know James. I'm sorry I shut you out. I had no idea." James smiled weakly. "But why a _problem_ child? Why that?"

James frowned and pushed himself into an upright position. "He is not Kendall. It's not _his_ fault he's like that. He's had a bad past. He just needs some help."

"Exactly!" Kendall said. "I know he needs help and that it's not his fault. But I'm still not ready for a kid, especially a problem kid."

"Logan is _not_ a problem kid." James argued tightly. "He just needs love and a home and I know that we can give him that!"

"Fine, whatever." Kendall sighed and stood up. "I'll 'go along with this'. Happy?" On the inside, James was _not_. He was actually deeply hurt, but he hid it with a fake smile. Kendall had climbed into _their_ bed with a huff. "But he is _your_ responsibility. _You_ wanted this." On the inside, James was internally horrified. This was _not_ what he wanted.

"Okay." He smiled. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. "Oh, Logan needs to take his medicine." _Right, once a day._

"Your job." Kendall called from the bed. James stood up silently and left the room.

In the silence, two hearts were cracking.

X.X.X.X

James gently shook Logan's bed. The boy's eyelids fluttered before he shot up, panting heavily. James held his hands up in a apology.

"Sorry Logan," He said gently, as Logan tried to calm down. "But you need to take your inhaler and anxiety medicine." A stubborn pout resided on Logan's lips.

He gladly took his inhaler but when it came to his pill, Logan outright refused it. He shook his head and stubbornly clamped his mouth shut. Nothing James tried seemed to work to get the child to take his pill.

Two hours had passed and Logan was still refusing his pill. James was dog tired and tried one last resort. He had gone and made a sandwich when Logan claimed he was hungry. James had stuck the pill in-between the lettuce and cheese. He gave the sandwich to Logan without a word.

Logan frowned and picked apart the sandwich until he found the pill. A tight frown went over his lips. By then he refused the pill _and _the sandwich. James had given up then and sighed in exhaustion. He took the sandwich and put the pill by the glass of water.

"Please Logan. Would you please take the pill?" He begged and left the room. Logan's eyes remained on the pill as James left. Tiredly, James put the sandwich in the garbage and trudged up the stairs. When he entered Logan's room, he once again surprised. The pill and the entire glass of water were gone and Logan was sound asleep in his bed again.

A smile fell upon James' lips and he turned off the light. When he entered his own room, Kendall was already asleep in their bed. James quickly climbed into the bed and turned to snuggle into Kendall; he paused for a second and sighed. Then he gently leaned down and kissed Kendall's cheek.

"I'm sorry Kendall. I love you." He whispered and curled up. Unbeknown to James, Kendall was only pretending to be asleep.

And silently, a lone tear fell down his cheek.

* * *

_December 7, 2011- 9:00 a.m_

James was up early and already making breakfast. He was whistling to himself while the bacon sizzled, and the pancakes cooked. Logan was also already up. He had give James one of his shy, crooked smiles when they met, and watched James cook for about half an hour. With James' permission, he had gotten up and wandered around the house to look around and explore. His brain was naturally curious, so his hunger for wandering wasn't unusual.

Logan's eyes were looking around at all the photos that were hanging on the walls, or sitting on the desks and tables. There were many of James or Kendall or both of them together. But there were also some of random people Logan did not know. Like a small Latino man and a pale with brown curly hairs and a pretty smile. Or Kendall was with a girl, younger than him, with brown hair and a woman with red hair. He made a note to ask James…or Kendall about them later.

Meanwhile, Kendall was finally waking up in their bed. He blinked blurrily and yawned. He smiled as he stretched, hearing the satisfying pops and cracks. When he rolled over, he felt the other side of the bed was empty. Meaning, no James.

A sad frown tugged on his lips until he could finally smell the breakfast downstairs. Hungry growled in his stomach and he smiled at the thought of James cooking breakfast. Sleepily, he got out of bed and went into the hallway.

Logan was standing to the left of his door, gazing at a picture of Kendall, James and the Latino on the wall. Another tight frown tugged on Kendall's lips at the sight of the young boy. His heart fluttered for a moment, before he swallowed the feeling down. Logan had noticed he was being watched by then, and turned to look at Kendall. His small, brown eyes widened. His body had frozen in place, and a dark blush pooled across his cheeks. His little heart was racing wildly in his chest.

_Kendall Knight_ was right in front of him. _The_ Kendall Knight.

Kendall gave Logan a cheesy smile and waved at the frozen boy. Logan only stared at Kendall, unable to say or do anything. Still forcing the smile, Kendall headed downstairs with a tired sigh. Upon entering the kitchen, Kendall was greeted with the sight of James, singing softly to himself, hear still messy from sleepy and completely relaxed.

Kendall loved this side of James. The side that wasn't obsessed with perfect looks and hard work. He loved the lazy days the most.

Quietly, he walked up behind the singing boy and wrapped his arms around James' waist. The taller male jumped from a moment, but breathed in relief when he felt Kendall breathe into his neck. He smiled happily at the idea that things were seeming to get better.

"Whatcha making?" Kendall asked; chin resting on James' shoulder. James leaned back slightly and continued to flip the pancakes.

"Breakfast for us. Pancakes, bacon and sausage with chocolate milk." James smiled and put the last of the food onto a plate. Kendall licked his lips hungrily.

"Yum. Chocolate milk." He chuckled and helped James to bring the food to the kitchen island counter top. That was when he noticed James was setting another plate out. Not two. He raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you getting three plates out?"

"Logan. Duh. He need's to eat too." James laughed, figuring Kendall was too tired to remember. The blonde was not known to be a morning person. Kendall nodded and nearly slapped himself. _How could he forget already?_

"Oh right." He laughed humorously and sat down in his usual chair. James, however, did not sit in his usual seat by Kendall. Instead, he set his plate across from Kendall and moved the third plate right in between the two adults. With a smile, James was heading out the kitchen.

"I'm going to get Logan and tell him, breakfast is ready." James called over his shoulders. "Go ahead and start eating. We'll be right back." Kendall stabbed the nearest sausage with his fork and huffed hotly. Envy crept in his face and eyes.

Logan was earning more of James' attention that his own fiancé was.

"You're going to sit right here." Kendall heard James said from behind him, when he was already halfway through his breakfast. He didn't bother looking up when he heard the stool next to him move and the stool in front of him. He did look up to see James making a plate for Logan, eyes filled with an emotion Kendall knew much to well.

More envy boiled in Kendall's veins.

No other breakfast had ever been more awkward for Kendall. He had no idea though, if Logan and James both felt as awkward. The two only talked to each other. Of course, James always talked to Kendall also. But Logan never really spoke. Only nodding or listening to James intently; never looking back at Kendall. But Kendall never spoke to Logan. All of his conversations were for James and James only.

"So I was thinking we should go shopping maybe today, for Logan. You know, get stuff for his room and clothes." James said mouth full of pancakes. Logan was currently gobbling down his glass of chocolate milk, leaving a dark mustache on his upper lip. James laughed at the boy and a sudden smile turned on Kendall's lips. _What?_

He frowned and cleared his throat. James was still smiling but looked back at Kendall. "Oh right. So yeah, I was thinking about starting today. You want to come?" Kendall was quick to shake his head. "Why not?" James frowned.

"I have to uh…train with Carlos. Yeah, you know how busy next week and the week after are going to be." Kendall chuckled. "So couch wants us to train hard a lot. Sorry." He flashed a pout at James, who seemed to accept his answer and sighed with a nod.

"That's fine. Logan and I can still go." Kendall's heart twinge. But it went ignored as he left to get dressed.

X.X.X.X

_December 8, 2011- 6:45 p.m._

James was sitting with Logan on the kitchen island, a steaming bowl of lasagna before them. Both had their plates full with the food. It took Logan a bit of convincing before he tried to the food. It seemed that Logan had never eaten many foods, and he never could eat a lot. He just couldn't stomach more than a little bit. James' worry had built. _Why won't he eat a lot? Was he never fed before?_ The idea made James sick to his stomach and he swallowed. _I'll talk to Kendall about it when he get's home._

James glanced back at the stove clock. Normally, Kendall would be home by now from hockey practice. But lately Kendall had been out later and later at practice. He hadn't seen much of Kendall in the past two days. It caused James to frown.

James smiled when he saw Logan's cheeks bulging slightly from the lasagna in his mouth. A chuckle escaped his lips as he bit into his own piece. Logan look up at James at this and James puffed out his own cheeks. A squeak of a giggle came from Logan and he clamped his hands over his mouth, to keep the food in. James laughed at the boy again, while Logan's eyes sparkled.

_How could anyone hurt him?_

The front door opened with a bang and startled both James and Logan. Instantly the boy's eyes were wide and his face was white. His breathing was already beginning to pick up and James tried to calm him down. Kendall had appeared in the front door as he shut it behind him. He sniffed the air, mouth already watering at the scent. James smiled and waved at Kendall.

"Dinner's already ready. Come eat." He called. With a grin of his own, Kendall went into the kitchen and grabbed a plate for himself. His face was red with sweat beading down the back of his neck, letting James know he had been practicing hard. Kendall leaned over to give James a kiss who smiled into the kiss. Kendall leaned down even more before being shoved away from James.

"Ew, you smell! No more kisses for you." James pretended to gag from the B.O. Kendall smirked and rolled his eyes. His eyes scanned over to the silent Logan who was watching the adults with curious eyes. He gave a polite smile to the boy but said nothing else.

"Hard practice?" James asked. Kendall nodded, hungrily shoving food into his mouth. He had to suppress a moan from it.

"Oh yeah. Coach wants us to go all the way to the cup this year. If we win the next game we're in." Kendall said and James beamed at his fiancé.

"That's amazing!" He cried. And Logan looked up in confusion. "All the way to the MLS cup, huh?" Now Logan understood with bright eyes. "You should show Logan the rink one day. He's a fan you know?"

Kendall snapped his gaze from his plate and stared at James then Logan who blushed. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. Of hockey. And the LA Kings. Actually I'm pretty sure he's a huge fan of_ you, _Kendall Knight." James went on, clearing his plate. Another pit of guilt began to pool in Kendall's stomach and his eyes lowered.

_He's a fan?_

X.X.X.X

_December 10, 2011- 12:30 p.m_.

"So I was thinking," Kendall nearly groaned from the couch when James spoke up again. He'd been going at this all week. "I think it's time to get a Christmas tree now." Kendall opened his eyes to look at his fiancé standing in front of him. James' eyes were crossed over his chest and his eyes were slightly narrowed.

"A tree? Where did this come from?" Kendall asked. James shrugged.

"It's already the 10th. Christmas is in 15 days and we don't have a tree yet or anything." James explained. Kendall nodded in agreement but James wasn't done. "Besides it would be great to get a real tree and set it up early, so Logan can have the entire experience." A frown ghosted across Kendall.

"Logan?"

"Yes Kendall. The point of this is to give him a good experience. So Logan should come with us and pick out a tree. He'd love it." James said happily. "We could get the ornaments and set up the decorations around the same time too. And Logan could help with all of it…" James trailed off cheerfully. He went on about how happy it would make Logan, and Kendall couldn't help the jealousy that rose in his chest. "Logan deserves a happy Christmas this year, he's been through so much."

"Why?"

"Why? I don't know really much about his old parents or past but it was bad and –"

"No, I mean why are we doing all this?" Kendall bit out.

"Why? _Why?_ Are you kidding me, Kendall?" James snapped, no longer amused. He had put up with Kendall's pouting long enough. And he was tired of it. "We're – _I'm_ supposed to give him a special Christmas, okay? It's what he deserves!"

"I KNOW THAT!" Kendall finally yelled and shot to his feet. This time, James didn't shrink away from Kendall. He put his nose to Kendall's, angrily with fists clenched. "Logan _does_ deserve a special Christmas James. But how are _we_ going to give him one? How are we going to know what to buy? Who's to say _we_ can if no one else could!? We're not ready for this!"

"_You're_ not ready Kendall! I am! I've been ready, but you're too scared to see that!" James hissed back, voice filled with venom. "Now, you're just being an asshole Kendall. I've put up with your shit for days, but I'm sick of it now! Learn to grow up, and quite sulking like a two-year-old!" He barked. "This is the _right _thing to do! Logan deserves this and needs this, and your sulking isn't helping _anyone_! He looks up to _you_! You're his hero Kendall!"

Kendall stumbled back at those unexpected words. James laughed bitterly.

"You would see that if you _ever_ paid him even the slightest bit of attention. You're his hero, but you know what?" James didn't wait for Kendall to answer. "You're _not _a hero. You're just a selfish asshole! Listen to me. If we can't even handle, fostering a child for _one month_ how will we _ever_ be ready to finally adopt a child forever? Huh?"

Kendall could feel his heart snapping.

Right then, James shoved a red envelope into Kendall's arm bitterly. "Read this. Read it, and maybe you'll finally see what I've been trying to do all along." He barked. James turned on his heels and stormed outside to the back yard. Logan was currently drinking lemonade on the porch, happily oblivious to the fight.

Kendall growled and nearly ripped the envelope in half. He was so hurt and furious and _guilty_ right now. His eyes scanned over the envelope and he nearly scoffed.

_To Mr. Santa Clause of the_

_North Pole._

"What is this? A gift list." Kendall scoffed and opened the envelope. Inside was a white piece of paper, with large, messy handwriting. But for someone so young, there were a lot of words on the envelope. Carefully Kendall began to read.

And a lump formed in his throat while tears dropped down his cheeks.

_Dear Santa,_

_I know you must be very busy this time of year with all the other boys and girls in the world but please would you read this? This Christmas I only want_ one_ thing. All I want is to be _loved._ To be loved by _someone_, anyone. To be loved and adored by someone who really loves me. To be loved finally like all the other children. I don't want my mean mommy or daddy, I don't want a crowded orphanage with mean kids; I don't want the cold streets. But I do want _someone_. Please, that is all I am asking for, for Christmas this year Santa. Please._

_Love,_

_Logan Mitchell. (Age: 5)_

The only thought that occurred to Kendall was: _What have I done?_

* * *

**So now you all know what Logan wished for from Santa. Heart breaking isn't it? That's why Kelly prayed. It really is a wish, rather than a list of gifts. How sad. :0. But I hope this chapter was satisfying. Now, do you think Kendall will be nice and James will forgive him? OR not? And tell me why please, I love all your opinions.**

**Now my response to all the reviewers:**

**SWACGleekFreak: Aw I know. Poor, poor James. But yes, Kendall really should have, and at least he did in this chapter. And omg isn't Logan? He's such a precious, sweetheart. I'm glad you like this :D**

**Scarlett: Once again I am so happy you reviewed! Lol, ah yes Kendall really was. I will do more, more and more! Hopefully I'll have time every day! Thank you so much!**

**James Lover: Haha, yep poor guy. Kendall was very mean, he really has a bad temper he needs to work on. And he "did", in a sense. But now will James? I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for reviewing! And thank you!**

**Kameslover3: I'm very happy to see you finally logged in and reviewed the story. It makes me very happy you like it :D. Logan is so adorable! He has to be as a kid! And yes, isn't James? Lol, very nice but you are right about Kendall. It's so true. Hope this chapter was good and thanks for reviewing!**

**Ano: Thank you very much for your opinion. I loved to read it, so thanks! And they did work it out in a sense. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for reviewing! :D**

**Guest: Yep so was I.**

**CrazyKAMESFan13: I know, the poor kames. And so was I. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Lovesall: I will! Every day! I hope you liked this chapter!**

**Uncgirl364.: Glad you see both sides. So was I. And he does bro.**

**Keep those reviews coming they make me smile despite my concussion!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	6. Perfect

**Awesome, I managed to update today. Phew, I thought I wasn't going to be able to for a bit. Buuut it is Christmas Eve, so as a gift for all you guys, I made this chapter EXTRA long. It's over 5,000 words with so much fluff that I hope you love it!**

**Lol, you are all so "kind" to Kendall. Eh, but he deserves it. Now, does he change? Or will he stay a jerk? To be…or not to be a jerk? That is the question ;)**

**Anyhow, again super long chapter so please enjoy. BTW I apologize for any atrocious spelling. I've never had a beta or anything before really. My friend reads these chapters when she can. So we don't catch it all. Sorry guys.**

**Anyhow, enjoy! I hope I've replied to all your reviews and Scarlett, look at the end A/N for your reply ;) **

* * *

**Chapter 6: Perfect**

_December 10, 2011- 8:30 p.m._

Kendall's entire body was numb right down to the bone. Eight hours later and he hadn't even moved from his spot in the living room. His eyes were red from the tears that had fallen from his eyes, and his fingers were trembling. They still held tightly onto Logan's Christmas letter. And inside his chest, his heart had shattered into a million pieces.

Not only had he made James mad at him once again, but he'd figured out just what a cold monster he really was. He was a monster to poor, _innocent_ Logan.

The lump grew bigger in his throat at the thought and his throat burned with pain.

Behind him, Kendall could hear the back doors opening with two pairs of feet entering the house. He could hear James gently whispering to Logan, who was yawning tiredly. He could hear the _love_ in James' voice. A love that he could have given, but he had chosen not to before. _Why?_

"Alright, let's get you in bed." James whispered gently, passing Kendall without a word. He continued down the hall and up the stairs, never stopping to look at Kendall or offer comfort. It was not like Kendall deserved any of that anyway. He tried to swallow as he told himself that, but that task became impossible due to the lump of despair.

James and Logan were now upstairs and gone from Kendall's sight. But the twenty-three-year-old still had yet to move from his spot. He was too numb to command his feet to follow them, _beg_ for forgiveness; _apologize _to James and Logan. To do anything!

But still he remained where he was.

Suddenly Kendall blinked and raised his head up. The ice around his heart and limbs were beginning to thaw, as his heart beat quickened. His mind quickly came up with a new plan and idea, to pay for what he had done. He could finally breathe again and he closed his eyes.

Carefully he swallowed the entire lump in his throat, and raised his head higher with a new determination. He began to move towards the stairs with the heartbreaking letter tucked in his back pocket.

He was going to make things _right._

X.X.X.X

Kendall came upon the entrance to Logan's room. The one room Kendall had never even spared to _look_ into. He could hear James' soft voice and the light was still on. For the first time in his life, Kendall was scared. He was scared to even go into the room – the same room he had gone into with guests so many times before in the past – at all. Only now, this room held so much more life and meaning.

With trembling steps he made it to the doorway of the room. He peaked into the room, like a small child afraid of being scolded by his mother. Inside the room was a beautiful sight, which brought a small smile to Kendall's lips.

James was pulling the covers up across little Logan, who was snuggled comfily in the bed, eyes drooping tiredly. An empty glass of water sat on the small table by the bed with a white inhaler, and Kendall made a mental note to remember those for Logan. He watched as his fiancé smiled down lovingly at Logan before patting his bed. He whispered something to the little five-year-old, and the child was out like a light after that.

Kendall hung in the doorway when James remained seated where he was on the bed, for a few more minutes. Then quietly, he stood up and turned out the light. Kendall glanced at Logan one last time before hurrying out of James' way. His heart was beating as fast as if was before, when the taller male was within a foot of him in the hallway. James ignored Kendall, but grabbed his wrist to drag him into _their_ room.

James only let go of Kendall's wrist when he turned to shut the door behind them, as so they wouldn't awake Logan, and turned to face Kendall. His face was expressionless, with lips pressed in a thin line and his arms crossed over his chest. Kendall's head hung down, knowing James was waiting. And he knew that James would not be the one to speak first.

That was Kendall's job.

Internally, Kendall was searching his mind for the right words to say; to begin his apology, but nothing was coming out of his mouth. Instead, tears pooled in his eyes and the ground became a blurry sight like blurry film. Two tears fell from his eyes before a hand was on his shoulder. Kendall looked up through his tears, to see concern was now etched on James' face. _James was _concerned_ for him. After everything he'd done!_

"James…I-I," Kendall swallowed when the words couldn't come down and took a deep breath. That was when the dams broke, and his tears flooded down his face. "I'm so _sorry_! I'm sorry, James! God, I was an idiot, a fool, an ass! I'm so sorry! Everything I did was wrong! All the yelling and the fighting…and everything!" He cried brokenly. "I didn't even let you explain at first! And…and when you did…oh god, I didn't even listen…I never listen! I'm horrible…so goddamn horrible! I'm sorry!"

James was silent through the entire ordeal, just allowing Kendall to get it all out.

"How could you live with me? After…after everything!" Kendall cried. "Please, can you ever forgive me? Can you ever forgive…everything I've done? I'll tell you sorry everyday until the day I die; because I'm…I'm just so…so sorry!"

Kendall let out a surprised yelp when he was pulled into a tight hug. James wrapped his strong arms around the trembling male, and decided to hold on tight. Kendall blinked back tears, with his face pressed to James' chest. He threw his arms around James pathetically, sobbing into James' shirt. The taller of the two, gently hushed his fiancé and rubbed Kendall's back, much like Kendall had done to him days before. The roles now had been reversed.

"Hush Kendall," James said in a soft and loving voice. As he spoke Kendall managed to control his breathing and tears. "I forgive you. I love you and I forgave you a long time ago. I was upset that you couldn't understand and I needed you to. I needed you to understand so you could see why I'm doing this. And why I need you." James murmured gently. In his chest, Kendall nodded frantically.

"Kendall?" The said male looked up into James' hazel eyes, seeing the desire and compassion in them. "Will you please try to get to know Logan? Will you please just try to get to know him and be a parent for him?"

Kendall was quick with his frantic answer. "Yes! Of course! I'll try my hardest everyday from now on, and I won't ever leave him!" He announced and James grinned so brightly and happily that Kendall had to smile back. "I do want to get to know him. I want to talk to him and help him. I really do!" His eyes were wide with hope.

James kissed his forehead. "I know you do. That is why I've forgiven you. I knew in your heart you weren't that cruel." Kendall melted with joy at his fiancé's huge heart and forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry! I promise to be 100% there for Logan now." Kendall began to ramble. "Everyday from now on I will be there and I'm sorry –" He was silenced with a heated and passionate kiss from James. His eyes fluttered shut and he melt into the kiss; into James. The two remained lip locked with one another, savoring the taste of each other and the bliss of the moment.

When the need for air became too much, James and Kendall reluctantly broke away. Both were panting and red faced, but each had their own genuine, large smiles as they stared into each other's eyes.

It was only when James' fingers pushed up into Kendall's shirt, did the now happy male smirk. A cunning grin turned on James.

"Let's celebrate our new choice." James breathed hotly. Kendall felt a shiver go down his spine but the smirk on his face remained. "We haven't had any fun since you came home."

"Then we'd better get busy, shouldn't we?" Kendall laughed.

And in his heart, he knew things would be okay.

* * *

_December 11, 2011- 9:45 a.m._

"We should get a tree today." Kendall whispered gently from his position in the bed. He lay under the covers – only his legs were covered – with a bare James snuggled into his neck. He could feel the smile James gave from the crook of his neck, and a smile of his own danced on his lips. "All _three_ of us should go, to the Brooke Tree Farm. It's not too far; only a ten minute drive. We should go early, so _Logan_ can pick from lots of trees. "

"Hmm." James sighed with happiness, content with where he was finally. He had been right, and things were really looking up now. And best of all, he'd gotten Kendall to open his eyes and see what was right in front of him.

"What do you think?"

"Hmm?" James breathed, having not heard Kendall due to his own thoughts. Kendall chuckled lightly.

"I said, what do you think about leaving after breakfast? We should change and get Logan up soon." Kendall repeated softly. James finally opened his eyes, with a beaming smile. He twisted next to Kendall to look into those green eyes he fell in love with over and over again everyday. Gently he peck Kendall's nose.

"I'd love that." He smiled and slowly rolled out of bed. Kendall sighed when the warmth was removed from him and he too got up. Both dressed quickly in normal clothes, but James went to the bathroom to get ready. Kendall laughed and went downstairs to make breakfast, knowing James would take an _hour_ to get ready.

He whistled softly to himself when he left the room and paused in Logan's doorway. A moment of guilt and nervousness passed through him, as he awkwardly peaked in. Logan was still deep asleep under his covers, leaving Kendall to smile in relief. _I'll…just let him sleep a bit longer…while I make breakfast._

Kendall was just about finished making the breakfast of French toast and eggs when he heard footsteps behind him. Automatically Kendall looked over his shoulder to see who it was. The guilt and nerves found their way back to Kendall's stomach.

Standing in the doorway, was little Logan. His hair was a mess, and his pajamas disarrayed from sleep. But his eyes were very much alert and staring at Kendall with surprise and fear. Kendall's heart hammered in his chest. _He must have thought James would be cooking breakfast._

For a second, neither male moved or did anything. But Kendall remembered that Logan was a very timid child, and he must be scared with Kendall staring. Kendall must seem like a stranger to Logan, since he hadn't been home much lately.

Gently, he smiled a real smile at Logan and waved. The boy's shoulders seemed to relax but his eyes were on high alert still. Kendall tried to ignore it.

"Hi Logan. James is getting dressed. I just finished breakfast, would you like some with…me?" Kendall asked awkwardly. Logan made no effort to move or answer for almost five minutes. Then ever so slowly, he nodded. Kendall breathed a sigh of relief and smiled again.

"Well alright then. Why don't you go pick a spot to sit on the counter, and I'll get some plates." Kendall suggested and went to a cupboard. He could hear the kitchen stool move across the floor and little feet pad across the kitchen. When he turned around with three table sets, Logan was seated in the stool he usually sat at. Kendall gave him another smile, still feeling slightly awkward, and set everything at the counter top. He frowned for a moment and looked at the food.

"Uh…do you like French toast or eggs?" He asked, realizing he had no idea about what Logan ate or liked. Logan blinked blankly at Kendall and said nothing. The awkward atmosphere was growing for Kendall. He blushed. "Um, well…how much do you eat usually?" He felt horrible, not having a clue about Logan and having to ask.

Luckily James came to his rescue. "Just give him one piece of toast and a scoop of eggs." James said as he entered the kitchen, fixing the collar of his shirt. As usual, James looked absolutely stunning and perfect. It brought a smile to Kendall's face. "And don't forget the powdered sugar. I think he'll like it with that on it more."

Kendall nodded, pulling the sugar out of the cabinet and gently sprinkling it over all the pieces of toast. He place one piece on a plate with one scoop of eggs, and gently placed it in front of Logan. James and Kendall made a plate for themselves before sitting down and watching Logan. The young boy was staring at is food, sniffing around and poking it with a fork. Kendall frowned and looked at James who looked slightly pained.

An idea came to Kendall.

He stuck his own fork into a piece of toast and some eggs, and stuck it all in his mouth. He smiled immediately. "Yum, so good." He mumbled. James laughed at Kendall but quickly caught on what he was trying to do and repeated what Kendall had done. _Bless him_.

It took Kendall and James five bites each before Logan finally stuck his own fork into the French toast. He examined the toast before sticking his tiny pink tongue out and licking the sugar. His eyes brightened dramatically from the taste and it was not long before he was piling the breakfast in his mouth. James beamed at Kendall with praise and Kendall smiled back. But he still felt incredibly awkward. _What should he say to Logan?_

"So Logan," James began in an effort to help Logan. "Kendall told me today we're going to pick out a Christmas tree. All three of us." Logan paused in mid bite to gape at James. His eyes widened and he pointed with one finger to his chest. "Yes, you too. I did say all _three_ of us."

Logan's eyes casted downwards and he swallowed the food. His eyes softened painfully. When he spoke, Kendall's heart snapped. "I've never had a Christmas tree before." His voice was barley above a whisper but James _and_ Kendall could clearly hear it.

It was Kendall who spoke up, surprising _everyone_.

"Well then today will be very special. We're going to help _you_ pick your very first Christmas tree." He said smoothly, realizing his nerves had vanished. "And I promise it's going to be the best Christmas tree _ever_! And we'll ever decorate the tree today and the house. Sound good?"

Logan's eyes were trained on Kendall with shock evident in his features. Even James' eyes were wide, but with joy. Then suddenly, that little crooked smile Logan always gave to James was given to Kendall, and Kendall's heart soared.

"You mean it?" He whispered. Kendall was determined to make the hope in his voice a reality.

"Of course I do." He grinned back, and suddenly nothing was awkward anymore. "We'll do all that today and lots more for Christmas all this week. You know, like songs or make a gingerbread house if you want and watch movies. Maybe it'll get cold enough to start a fire one of the days, I hope…" And as Kendall rambled on about plans, the crooked smile never left Logan's face.

And James couldn't have been more proud of his lover.

* * *

_Brooke Tree Farm- San Diego, California_

"Here we are." James announced as the pulled into the large parking lot. This Christmas tree farm was the largest farm with California with the widest and greatest selection of trees. Form fat to thin; tall to short; big to small. He pulled their car into a parking space, glancing at Logan in the rearview mirror. Logan's eyes were trained on all the people outside, a hint of fear in those chocolate eyes of his. James wished he could forever make that fear go away.

With a soft sigh, he got out of the car with Kendall. James opened the door for Logan and helped to teach the boy how to take off his seatbelt. It seemed Logan had been in a car _once_ in his life. And that had been in a police car the day he was brought to the orphanage, and it had no seatbelts.

Logan was curious on how to work the seatbelt and allowed James to show him how to put it on and off. He pleaded to be allowed to try it by himself on the way home. James agreed with a soft smile.

Once Logan was out of the car, he automatically reached for James hand, who gladly took Logan's. Kendall smiled at the sight and walked next to Logan. He knew Logan needed more time to get to know Kendall before he held hands, and Kendall was willing to wait.

It turned out, hardly any people with _in_ the tree farm. Most of the people they saw were heading in stores or watching James and Kendall from a distance. It was no doubt many were recognizing James or Kendall or both. But the two adults ignored them.

Logan gazed with large eyes at all of the trees standing around the lot and he couldn't help but breathe out a, "Whoa" quietly.

There was a young man standing by a shed at the opening gate. He looked to be about eighteen and had a bored expression on as he waited for a customer. James and Kendall made their way past the boy who was now flabbergasted and gaping at James and Kendall.

"No way. You're Kendall Knight and James Diamond!" He cried excitedly. James and Kendall shared a chuckle. But Logan hid himself shyly behind James leg upon seeing the stranger. The kid, at first, didn't noticed Logan as he was too engrossed with seeing two famous idols. Once he did notice Logan he became curious.

"Who's that?" He asked once he had calm down. Both Kendall and James had looked at the hiding Logan with a smile. "Is he like some toddler nephew or something?" James nearly laughed. _Toddler?_ He knew Logan was small but he wasn't _that_ small, right?

But suddenly James looked right at Kendall. They hadn't told _anybody_ about Logan yet. What were they going to say? And then, it was Kendall who surprised James, yet again.

"This is Logan." Kendall smiled and pointed to the hiding brunette child. Logan peaked out from behind James' leg, clutching the pants tightly, with a shy look on his face. "He's actually five and we are fostering him. He was part of a program called 'Home For The Holidays', where you foster a kid for the holidays for one month, and Logan was our pick. He's been with us since the fourth." Kendall explained without a beat or pause. James smiled widely at the blonde.

"Really?" The boy asked, eyes looking from Logan to Kendall. The two adults nodded and the boy grinned slightly. "That's so cool. He's lucky you guys chose him! Cute kid too." He said with a smile. James smiled back happy someone could accept his sexuality and Logan.

"Thank you." James said and ruffled Logan's hair. "Excuse us, but we're going to take a look around." The boy nodded and moved out of their way.

Kendall and James walked towards the wide sections of trees and began their search. They went down row after row, isle after isle, looking at trees of all shapes and sizes. Each tree had something wrong with it though. Some James didn't like, some Kendall didn't like and some Logan didn't like. Others were too bare, or too many needles were falling off or too small or too big.

James was really beginning to lose hope as they went down the very last row of trees in the back. They had looked at almost every single tree here and nothing stood out. Nothing called to him or gave him that special feeling. He began to feel like he wasn't going to find that "perfect" tree for Logan, and it hurt to think so.

Or so he thought.

In the very back corner of the farm, tucked away by some other huge trees was a green, seven foot tall tree. And James felt his heart call out. The tree was beautiful, with lush branches of needles that spread out in a four foot diameter. There was absolutely no sign of dead branches or pine needles on this tree. The bottom was a gorgeous dark green while as you went to the top the green faded into a brighter, richer color.

James loved it.

And what made the matter better, was that Logan had stopped right in front of that tree. His head was tilted upward as he gazed at the full tree, and he didn't move an inch. As James got closer, he could see the look of wonder in Logan's eyes and the tiny smile on his face. _It's perfect._

"Did you find a tree?" James asked, startling the boy for a moment. Logan looked to him, blushing a bit before pointing to the tree James also wanted. He smiled, a wide and teethy smile. And he nodded in agreement. The look of happiness on Logan's face made James forget the tree was perfect, because now that he'd seen Logan's face, he would have said yes to a dead and scrawny tree in Logan had asked.

Behind them, Kendall watched the two with love and waved for the boy from earlier to come. Once the boy was next to him – turns out, his name was Kevin – Kendall spoke with a light tone.

"We're going to take that tree, right there." He said and pointed to the tree James and Logan were in front of. The boy nodded and went to collect the tree. When James realized what Kendall had done he raced to his fiancé and kissed him right on the lips. James' arms wrapped around Kendall as he twirled his fiancé in a circle, still lingering the kiss.

Kendall laughs against James' lips and winds his own arms around James. The two couldn't have been happier than they were at that moment. James pulled away from Kendall, and brushed his nose against Kendall, eyes filled with love.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Kendall breathed and kissed James softly, one last time. When they broke apart James ran back to Logan to share the excited news, and Kendall had to laugh at his child-like fiancé.

But that was why he loved him.

X.X.X.X

_Kendall and James' House- 2:15 p.m._

Kendall helped Kevin to load the tree on top of their car roof, and tie it down. James sat in the car with Logan chattering excitedly about their plans to decorate and put up the tree. Logan was wearing his little crooked smile, the entire time James talked and all the way on the ride home.

Once they arrived at home, it had been a slight hassle to fit the tree through the front doors. But James and Kendall were both fairly strong and tall men. So carrying it together was not much of a problem. It was simply just getting the tree through the door and finding a place to set it down.

Logan was instructed to find a place in the house to put the tree by himself (Kendall had begged it to be on the first floor, he really didn't want to go up or down any stairs with that tree), while James and Kendall set out to find all the ornaments and Christmas decorations for the house in the basement.

Logan wandered around the house, exploring each room, carefully trying to find the perfect spot for _their_ tree. At the thought, Logan could feel his small heart flutter with the unfamiliar warmth. Only this time he smiled.

When James and Kendall arrived back on the main floor, with boxes and boxes or Christmas stuff, Logan had found the perfect spot.

"So where are we putting the tree?" James asked Logan. The little boy tugged on James and Kendall's hands and pulled them into the living room. Once they were there, Logan stood right next to the fireplace to the left and pointed. Kendall grinned and James nodded.

_It was perfect._

Kendall and James moved the tree slowly into its stand right where Logan wanted it. It took much heaving and lifting but the tree was finally in its _home._

The ornament boxes had been brought into the living room and Kendall opened each box with his pocket knife. "Ready to put on some ornaments Logie?" Logan and James had both stopped to look at Kendall when he said the nickname. A soft smile spread across James while Logan blushed, feeling warmer.

Secretly he liked that name.

James grinned and placed a box of ornaments between him and Logan. "Well, we should start decorating this tree. Go ahead and put any of these ornaments on Logan." He said softly. Logan hesitated, hands twisted together before him, as he stared at the ornaments. Deciding Logan just needed a little push, James pulled a round, golden ball ornament from the box and placed in his Logan's trembling hands. "Go ahead. Put it anywhere on the tree." James nudged Logan, gently, towards the new tree. With a few more gentle nudges Logan finally placed the ornament on the branch in front of his face. Then he turned back to James.

The next hour was spent consisting of Logan always being handed (it was the only way he would touch an ornament) ornaments and placing them on the tree where he could reach. He would alternate between taking an ornament from James and one from Kendall. Who ever didn't hand Logan an ornament put their own on, on the higher places of the tree.

James and Kendall took the time to remember and talk about each ornament they had to Logan, laughing or smiling at memories. Logan had learned who the woman with red hair was and the younger girl. They were Kendall's younger sister and mother. Katie and Jennifer Knight.

He'd given a tiny smile when Kendall said he'd call them one day to talk. He pulled out another picture ornament only this one had James, Kendall and the Latino in it smiling at the camera. He pointed to it before putting it on the tree.

"That's Carlos. Do you know Carlos Garcia from the LA Kings?" Kendall explained. Logan frowned and tried to concentrate on the name. After a moment his eyes brightened in realization and Kendall laughed. "Well that's him. He's a goofball but he's the best goalie I've ever seen."

"You'd get along with Carlos. He's practically a kid all the time." James snorted as he put his own ornament on. Kendall laughed but nodded in agreement. Logan put the ornament gently on a branch in the front of the tree.

After another hour, the tree was decorated with ornaments and colored lights – Logan had _wanted_ the colored lights – and all that was left was tinsel and the star. James handed Logan his own bag of silver and gold tinsel, while he and Kendall shared one.

"Now, we can to this the proper way, and make it look nice and neat." James said with a smirk. Kendall rolled his eyes and grabbed a handful of tinsel.

"Too slow." He whined. James laughed and looked at Logan pointedly.

"Or we can do it the _Kendall_ way and randomly throw tinsel where ever on the tree. And it'll look like a mess and unorganized." James murmured. Kendall snorted but tossed his tinsel into the air and on the tree. A large clump landed where he threw it while some strayed and spread across branches.

James sighed but grabbed his own handful of tinsel. He moved to another spot on the tree and threw the tinsel up into it. The two adults laughed as they reached for more tinsel. Logan shifted on his feet, watching the adults curiously. He looked down at his own bag of tinsel and bit his lip.

Then, carefully he grabbed a tiny handful of tinsel and pulled it out of the bag. For a few minutes Logan just stood there with a hand full of tinsel and stared at the tree. In the next second, he yanked his arm back and threw. The little ball didn't go very high on the tree, but the tinsel did spread out across the branches better than Kendall's or James.

Logan's heart flutter in excitement when he released the tinsel from his hand. Next to him, Kendall and James cheered happily at Logan and threw their own pieces again. Logan became pink faced at the cheers from Kendall and James but slowly, his crooked smile came upon his face.

He grabbed another handful and threw again. The warmth had spread all through his chest and right into his little heart. And he finally figured out what it was.

It was _happiness_.

X.X.X.X

"Well, all that's left is to put the star on." Kendall murmured when they all stepped back to admire the tree. Kendall had never thought a Christmas tree had looked so magical since he was a little boy, but tonight their tree, without a doubt was very, _very_ magical.

Despite the piles of tinsel thrown everywhere, the tree looked almost perfect to them. Best of all, Logan was _happy_. His crooked smile hadn't left his face once and it left James _and_ Kendall filled with joy. They didn't have an explanation or knew why, but Logan's smile was special. Even if it was crooked, it still lit up the whole room.

"Logan, do you want to put the star on top?" James asked softly. Logan turned away from the tree and his eyes widened once more. Though, a bit of terror now was on his face and sadness. James tried to brush it off. When Logan pointed to his chest, Kendall laughed.

"Yes, you silly."

For long, agonizing moments, Logan said nothing. He looked down and twiddled with his fingers nervously, but Kendall and James never lost patience.

"B-But I-I'm too s-short." Logan stammered quietly.

"Oh, but _may_ I lift you up so you can reach?" James asked rather than suggested. Logan bit his lip and contemplated with the idea. What if they dropped him? What if they fell? What if they were going to drop him on purpose, and laugh at him? This was all a trick, wasn't it?

James could see Logan's mind racing with fear and his heart ached for the boy. "Logie," Kendall said softly. "James and I will both hold you up, so you can reach. And I promise we won't let go or drop you."

Logan looked up with big, _wet_ eyes and his lip trembled. Oh how he wanted to. He really did. But Logan had learned that people can break their promises in the past, and it was preventing him from saying yes. But the longer he looked into James and Kendall's eyes, the more his body began to relax.

_Maybe they're going to keep their promise._

"Yes." Logan squeaked, barley above a whisper. Smiles broke out of James and Kendall and Kendall reached over to grab the star. He knelt down and handed the star to Logan's trembling fingers. The little boy latched onto the star tightly and looked up.

"Are you ready Logan?" James asked. Logan swallowed and took a deep breath. Slowly, he nodded. In the next second he was flying. He was lifted high up; past Kendall's head and even past James' head. Panic raced through his body as was lifted and his breathing quickened. But he could feel two sets of hands. James and Kendall defiantly had a tight hold on them. Letting out a shaky breath, Logan looked up.

"Alright Logan, go head and put the star on the top. Make sure it's plug into a light." Kendall told the boy in a caring voice. Logan did as he was told with shaking finger and white knuckles. But once the star was on and lighting up, Logan could hear James and Kendall cheering happily…for him.

"There you go! Good job Logan!" James praised from below.

"Yeah, you did it Logan!" Kendall chimed in cheerfully. The panic began to melt away by the happiness inside Logan's chest. He smiled again down at the two men as they lowered him down. A sudden need went through Logan's body and he snuggled himself into Kendall and James' sides. A pushed his face into their shoulders, refusing to be put down or let go.

He _wanted_ to be held.

Just a little bit longer.

* * *

**Daaawww, so much fluff! I've died and gone to fluff heaven and I hope you all have. So, was that a good Christmas present chapter? A happy, super-duper long chapter? Yeah? I hope you all enjoyed it! Now, I hope you're excited because….dun dun duuun, in the next chapter you will find out WHY Kendall was so reluctant! Exciting?**

**Now, I'll see if I can update tomorrow, but it is Christmas (YAY, inner child) and I'm continuing my LORD OF THE RINGS marathon ;). So we shall see. I'm already writing chapter 7, so if it's not up tomorrow it will defiantly be up on the 26****th****!**

**So thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Please leave anything in a review! That can be your gift to me, alright? ;)**

**Scarlett: Ahh yay I love your reviews! ;) Thank you and I know. Poor kid! Lol, you were very "kind" to Kendall but it is the truth. I hope you forgive him now! And I know the poor kid :c. Merry Christmas to you and thank you! Lot's of love!**

**Anyhow, Merry Christmas to all who celebrate and Happy New Year. Happy Holidays to all who don't, and I wish you all a safe and very happy holiday season!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	7. Beginning

**Well I hope those of you who celebrated Christmas had an amazing one! I know I sure did! (Lord of the Rings AND my brother bought me Big Time Movie. Bless him) And I hope it was fun filled and safe!**

**THANK YOU to all of those of you who review this story, or faved or alerted it. Each one of you are special and awesome! Thanks and keep it up you guys!**

**Here is my response to all of you that reviewed the last chapter (sorry my PM was down)**

**LoveSparkle: Yay you like Kendall again! Happy day! And thanks, fluff and cute was my goal. Fainting is okay! I died writing it ;). Thank you so much for always reviewing and I hope you like this chapter!**

**SincerelyYouSecret: I squeal all the time. It is perfectly a-okay! And haha weird looks, I love when families do that to fangirls. I'm so happy it was cute and thank you for your review! I hope you also enjoyed this chapter.**

**SWACGleekFreak: Yay for more squealing, it makes me happy! I'm glad you liked it and I hope you enjoyed this chapter also! And thanks**

**DayMoon89: Fluff is good right? I am glad and aww thank you so much! And yes the three of them are just wait and see, it'll get even more. Me too. Kendall needed to wake up ;) Thank you for your review and I hope this chapter was also good!**

**Scarlett: Yay for Kendall being cool. Thank you so much, I'm glad it was a good gift to you all. Logan is sweet huh? And yes! Logan was happy. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you for your review! I hope this chapter was just as goodish. And aww, thank you! Lot's of love!**

**Teddybear no1: Thank you, and yep! Kendall saw the good in him. Thanks for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**CrazyKAMESFan13: First, NEVER apologize for fangirling. I always allow it and encourage it ;). And I'm so happy you loved it! Thank you for reviewing and I hope you like this chapter also.**

**Thesandbar: Little Logie fics do that. But I'm sorry that your heart went through so much with mine? I hope that's good it did…;) Convulsing huh? Wow. Thank you for the sweet review! And I hope this chapter was also good!**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Beginning**

_December 11, 2011- 9:15 p.m._

Some time later, Logan could not hide the long yawn that came through him, as his eyes drooped lower when drowsiness wore in. His yawn attracted the attention of both James and Kendall. Whom, were still holding onto Logan.

Logan had snuggled up deep into the shoulders of James and Kendall, remaining in their arms without a complaint. He had stayed there, watching the – _their_ tree, feeling…safe for the first time in his life. He couldn't remember the last time he had wanted to be held, let alone actually been held. But there was just something different about Kendall and James. Something _special._

James smiled softly down at the boy who had yawned in his arms. He could not deny that his heart had soared to the sky when Logan had snuggled into him, and when Logan made no effort to move, well it only sealed the love for James. He looked at his fiancé to see Kendall, looking down at Logan also, with the same look of love James wore.

"I think it's time for someone to sleep." Kendall murmured quietly. The small child yawned again and nodded in agreement, leaving James to laugh. Logan buried himself completely into James' chest, and the adult took Logan's entire body into both of his arms. Logan laid his head down on top of James' shoulder and allowed his eyes to droop lower in sleep.

"Let's get to bed." Kendall whispered, walking ahead of James. He turned the lights out in the house as James went up to Logan's bedroom. Logan's eyes were closed and he could feel himself falling into a sweet sleep – one he hadn't had in ages – just on the edge of consciousness, when he felt someone shaking him. He blinked with blurred and tired eyes, to find that they were already in his bedroom. Kendall had pulled out his pajamas and laid them on the bed, while James carefully set him on the ground.

"Come on kiddo. Just get dressed and then you can go to sleep." James said and brushed a bit of Logan's hair off his forehead. The sleepy boy nodded sluggishly and allowed himself to wake up enough to put on his pajamas.

He'd been given his inhaler and taken his medicine (after thirty minutes of pleading and finally asking) and he was ready for bed at last. James pulled his covers back as Kendall turned out the light.

"Tomorrow, we'll head to the store. Buy you some books to read and new clothes. We'll also get a few toys. Sound good?" Kendall asked gently when Logan was deep under his covers. The five-year-old smiled goofily and nodded. Sleep was already tugging at his mind, and his eyes could no longer fight to stay open. They closed, and his breathing evened out until he was in a deep slumber.

Kendall and James lingered in the room, for a moment longer before taking each other's hand and leaving the room. They left feeling happy and loved.

X.X.X.X

Kendall was finally sliding into his own bed, thirty minutes after putting Logan to sleep, with James already waiting under the sheets. He crawled under, and allowed James to curl up on top of his chest, face buried in the crook of his neck. The two remained quiet, listening to each other's heart beat and breathing in the calm night. The day's events had left them worn, and they too could feel themselves on the brink of sleep.

James more so than Kendall, as the heat from Kendall's chest lulled him into a drowsy state. His eyes fluttered closed and he was just about to fall asleep when Kendall spoke up.

"I am afraid."

James opened his eyes with a frown, fighting away the sleep upon Kendall's words. He could feel Kendall staring at the ceiling as he ran his fingers gently through James' hair._ What was he talking about?_

"What are you afraid of?" James asked quietly. Kendall continued running his hands through James' hair, lost into his own thoughts for coming up with an answer. James waited patiently, knowing he was not being ignored.

"Of growing attached." Kendall finally answered. James' frown deepened as he tried to think. He did not move from where he laid, and he continued to allow Kendall to play with his hair. James was silent, figuring what he should respond with. Finally he decided on a question.

"Kendall…why were you…so reluctant, on having kids all this time? Why didn't you want any?" James knew it was a low shot, but it had been bugging him for years. Now, he figured he had to get the answer now, or he never would get it. Kendall didn't respond to James right away. He didn't respond in five minutes or even ten minutes later. In fact, he didn't respond until thirty minutes later.

James never grew impatient. He grew scared, yes, but never impatient. Kendall would tell him _if_ and _when_ he was ready. Finally, Kendall opened his mouth.

"Because of my father." Kendall said softly into the darkness. His fingers had gotten softer in James' hair as he spoke. But James did not dare to interrupt Kendall. If there was one thing Kendall never talked about, it was his good for nothing father. "My father…he…well, he left my family and I. When I was eight-years-old, he just left one day. He'd gotten up and left my mother, my sister and I just one day. And he never came back; I haven't heard from him since I was eight. He completely abandoned my mother, my sister and I in our times of need. No goodbye, no messages, nothing."

Kendall's voice cracked halfway through his story, but he did not cry. He continued with his story with angered and shaking breaths. "He deserted us. He left my mother a wreck, and Katie was so young. She never remembered him; never grew up with a father at all." Kendall growled and his hands began to shake. "I had to grow up when I was eight. To take care of my sister and mother."

James swallowed the lump of tears that pressed inside him. _Oh Kendall_. "So why do you not want to get attached?" His voice was gentle and comforting, allowing Kendall's hands to resume running through his hair.

"Because," Now Kendall did have to swallow. He knew saying what he had to say wasn't going to be easy. It was never easy. "Because…what if I'm just like _him_?" James sucked in a sharp breath of air, and his throat tightened when he finally understood Kendall's fear. He tried to open his mouth to say something, _anything_, but his mouth wouldn't cooperate. Instead all that came out was a squeak. Kendall went on. "What if…what if bad genes, run from father to son? I share the same blood as him; the same _traits._ What if…deserting is inherited?" By the end, Kendall's voice had become a pitiful, frightened whisper.

"I don't want to be like _him_," Kendall whispered fearfully. "I don't want to become a man like my father was. One that deserts his family and never comes back. I hated my father for what he did, and I will never forgive him, but…but what if…I am the same?" The pain in Kendall's voice was so evident that James could feel his heart shaking with the tears he felt. His heart bled for the man he loved.

"Oh Kendall, you won't turn out like him." James whispered, trying to comfort Kendall. Kendall, however, brushed off the attempt.

"How do you know that? What if this is something hereditary? Or what if I really do end up like him? You don't know the future." Kendall argued weakly. James knew Kendall was barley keeping himself together and the wrong words could send him over the edge.

"Okay," James whispered. He pushed himself onto one elbow so he could look down into Kendall's face. The blonde male still held hi gaze at the ceiling, but James could see the tears in his eyes. "I don't know the future. You're right. But I _do_ know this. You are _not_ like your father in anyway, and you know why?" James didn't even bother to wait for a response. "I know, because of your heart." Kendall finally turned his gaze to James in confusion. James smiled softly, rubbing his thumb across Kendall's cheek.

"You're heart is so much bigger than your father's because you are afraid." Kendall looked at James with even more confusion._ He wasn't helping_. "You see what an awful thing deserting a family is and you know the heartache it leaves. You know the hatred and disgust you have for a man who leaves his family behind, and you're father never had that. Of course he left; he didn't think about how this would affect others. But you, _you_ do think about it Kendall. And you worry about it. That's what gave you your heart and love.

"_And_ you were willing to try and be kind, even with your fears and beliefs. You were still willing to try for Logan. Your heart is so big Kendall; I wish you could see." James mumbled quietly. Kendall's eyes had softened and the tears remained.

"But…but I love you too much James." Kendal croaked. "I love you too much, that I couldn't bear losing you if I ever lost. Just the thought of it, aches my heart. I love you too much to lose you." James' smile widened at hearing Kendall's words and he gently pressed his lips to Kendall. When he pulled away, he made sure to look right into Kendall's eyes.

"And I love you too Kendall. Don't you ever think I won't." James said. "You are nothing like what your father was, and you would never leave." He reassured against Kendall's lips. The other male's breath hitched when he kissed back.

"Oh James. I just don't ever want to leave you _or_ Logan. I don't ever want you to feel the pain that I went through when _he_ left." Kendall whispered. He felt James lay his head back down on his chest, and his heart felt a bit lighter.

"You won't Kendall. I won't let you."

Kendall smiled as James soon drifted off to sleep, arm securely around his waist. Despite James' reassurance, and words Kendall took in, Kendall was still wide awake.

"I'm still scared of growing _too_ attached to Logan. I'm scared to love him and he will leave. Logan is _special_." He whispered into the night.

And scared he was.

* * *

_December 18, 2011 11:15 a.m._

Kendall and James didn't know where the time was going. Now time was flying by much faster with Logan. It had already been one week, since Kendall vowed to help Logan and since they had bought and set up _their _Christmas tree. And what a week it had been.

Kendall and James had taken Logan to a nearby mall (both had decided to disguise themselves, not wanting anyone to recognize them and crowd Logan) to get things Logan needed. Rather, they went and bought anything for Logan, believing he would _need_ them. They never actually really asked Logan, but Logan wasn't complaining. He was just shocked.

Kendall and James had bought all kinds of books filling many shelves for Logan (books he really would read) and more clothes than Logan had ever had before the orphanage. He had pajamas and clothes now that actually fit him, even thought they were made for three-year-olds. Logan had special interests in sweater vests and sweaters, than James was happy to buy. He had to admit, Logan was a very _stylish_ five-year-old.

Throughout the entire week, the three had spent decorating the entire house (inside and outside), reading stories and going on walks around the neighborhood. And each day Logan opened up just a tiny bit more and smiled even more. Kendall had been sure to get home as soon as he could everyday now, rather than linger after practice longer.

Kelly had called once over the week to check in with the guys and Logan. She was more than surprised to hear from not only James, _Kendall_ and Logan. Her happiness was higher than ever when Logan _talked_ to her about his time with James and Kendall, and the _joy_ in his voice had her thanking someone above.

"Hey, are you leaving?" James asked hurriedly already dressed to perfection and ready to go. Kendall looked up from his breakfast with Logan with a soft frown. He swallowed his food and nodded.

"Yeah. I have a game at four here. And we always get there early to get the rink ready and practice." Kendall reminded his fiancé. It was their last home game before the Stanley Cup meaning tonight was a pretty tough night and they needed all the time they could get.

James sighed when he remembered and Kendall raised an eyebrow. "Right, right sorry. Gustavo just called me. He really needs me in so we can finish up the last of the songs and the album." James murmured.

Kendall stood up. "Was he a jerk to you?" He asked seriously with that murderous look in his eyes. James laughed and gave Kendall a chaste kiss on the lips.

"No, no. I don't think he's going to be a jerk for a while after that last phone call." He chuckled, easing Kendall's anger. "But we really need to get work done. I haven't been over in a week."

"I get it. I get it. Well then, I guess we'll both be home late." Kendall grinned and rinsed his plate clean. "But what about Logan? Who's going to watch him if we're both out?" At this Logan looked up from his breakfast and a bad feeling sat in his stomach. Suddenly he wasn't very hungry.

"I was going to ask you that. But you're going to your game soon, meaning you really won't be able to watch him." James said gently. Logan had swallowed back a sickening taste in his mouth and his lower lip trembled. His face had gone white and tears pricked in the corners of his eyes.

_Neither of them wants me. They're going to leave me all alone or give me away to a stranger! Then, they're not going to come back. I knew it. They're leaving me._ These awful, familiar thoughts poisoned Logan's mind as a tear fell off his nose. He sniffled quietly, trembling in his seat as his fears grew.

James glanced over at Logan as he figured a solution and froze. His heart hammered and all the color in his face drained. Logan looked to be having a mental breakdown in his chair, but James wanted to know _why_? He ushered over to Logan quickly, heart dropping when Logan flinched from him. Kendall wasn't far behind him.

"Logan what's wrong? What's the matter?" Kendall asked quickly, looking for any signs of injury on the boy. Logan bit his lip and cried harder.

"Logan, please, why are you crying? What's wrong?" James pleaded ready to give Logan anything. All the little boy had to do was say the word and anything would be his. Money was not a problem. James gently took Logan's small, shaking hand in his own and stroked his thumb across the pale knuckles. "Oh Logan, please tell us why you are crying?" Logan looked at James with tear-filled eyes.

"Y-You're g-going to l-leave me a-all a-alone, a-aren't you?" Logan cried as he tried to pull his hand back. "Are y-you g-going to l-lock me up t-too?" He asked. James and Kendall were both horrified at what the child was saying. James could feel tears of his own pricking in the corners of his eyes, but he wasn't going to cry. Not now. Not when Logan needed him.

"Oh no Logan. We would never do that. Never!" Kendall exclaimed.

"Logan, Kendall and I are trying to figure out _who_ you are going with. We would _never_leave you here alone or with someone you didn't know." James said. "We both have a job and we're trying to figure out who would still be able to watch you. I promise we're not going to leave you alone…or l-lock you up." James faltered at the last three words, unable to believe he had to promise Logan that.

_How could anyone hurt him?_

Logan looked between James and Kendall with those hurt-filled and innocent eyes, tears still falling. "Y-You're n-not? Are y-you l-lying?" By now James was afraid he _was_ going to start crying, but thankfully Kendall could speak up for them.

"Logan, James and I would _never_ lie to you. I swear on my life, we would _never_. When we make a promise we stick with it all the way." He said gently and took Logan's other hand. Logan sniffled and squeezed both hands tighter like a lifeline. This _was_ his lifeline. He was throwing it out to them now, and only they could catch it and save him.

He took a shuddery breath and nodded. "O-Okay. Okay." He sighed as James whipped the tears from his eyes. James smiled as gentle as he could and squeezed Logan's hand back.

"We've got you buddy." He whispered, grateful when Logan nodded. "But Logan…why would you think we would lock you up?" He was almost afraid of the answer. Logan looked downward.

"Mommy and daddy used to lock me up." He said quietly. James and Kendall shared a look of fear and their eyes widened. They really _didn't _know anything about Logan. One question lingered in both of their minds.

_What had happened to this boy?_

X.X.X.X

_Roque Records, California- 12:30 p.m._

It had been agreed that James' work was the most suitable for a child to go to at the time. This way one of them could _always_ keep an eye on Logan. After this morning, neither male wanted to leave Logan alone for even five minutes. In actuality, they wanted to hold and hug Logan as close to them as possible and never let go.

Kendall had told James he would bring home dinner when he returned from the game and he was off to his game, after saying goodbye to James and Logan. He gave James a loving kiss and gave Logan a hug longer than necessary.

Once Kendall left, James and Logan had been on their way to Roque Records. This time Logan managed to do his seatbelt all by himself after a few struggled attempts. James beamed with pride, even though no other parent would take pride in a five-year-old putting on a seatbelt. But Logan was _different._

The little, brown haired boy was clutching his new favorite toy tightly to his chest. It was a stuffed panda teddy bear, of which he had named Benny. Benny went everywhere that Logan went now. To bed; in the car; at dinner; on the couch, everywhere. At first Logan didn't know what to do with the bear. James had sadly learned that Logan had also _never_ had a teddy bear before. So James showed him what he could do, and what Benny could do.

And now Logan and Benny were inseparable.

It brought a smile to James' tan face.

As soon as James and Logan had entered Roque Records, the fearful and shy Logan turned on. Logan buried himself into Benny and pulled on James' jacket. It meant, he wanted to be held. Just a simple tug. James and Kendall had found this out two days after they first held James. Even though he was considered "a bit old" to always being carried, James and Kendall did not care.

He was still small and they also _wanted_ to hold Logan.

James immediately picked up Logan into his arms, who promptly hid into his foster-father's shoulder when he saw people. James smiled and shifted Logan. He said good morning to everyone that worked there like he did everyday, receiving curious stares, squeals and jaws dropping.

Many of the female interns that worked at the studio swarmed James when they caught sight of Logan. They had squealed and cooed at the adorable little boy that was attempting to hide inside of James' shirt. His face had reddened at the attention he wasn't used to and James couldn't help but hold him back protectively. He knew no one would hurt him, but James hated having Logan uncomfortable.

Luckily the interns didn't try to touch him or hold them. Rather, they squealed like fangirls (much of which they did when Kendall and James kissed) and gushed about how cute Logan was.

"Ooh! Who is this little guy?"

"Oh my goodness James, where did you get this cutie?"

"Is he your son? Oh my gosh, look at those dimples!"

"He is absolutely adorable James! Just like you!"

James had to smile at the compliments Logan was receiving and he gently stroked Logan's red cheek. Carefully he nudged Logan. The little boy peaked over his bear, and when the girls all saw his beautiful chocolate eyes, an entire new round of squeals broke out.

"Ladies, meet little Logan." James introduced happily. "He is my foster son. Kendall and I are participating in a program called, 'Home For The Holidays' at an orphanage. He is five-years-old and a bit shy as you can tell." James said smoothly, enjoying how that sounded on his tongue.

"Oh my, this precious little boy is an orphan you guys fostered?"

"Yes. He's the sweetest kid on earth. We're helping to celebrate Christmas _and_ New Year's with Logie here." Logan had smiled a dimply, crooked smile at his new nickname. He _really _liked that name.

"He is adorable! Hi sweetheart!"

Logan managed a shy wave with a tiny, "Hello", which was plenty enough for the girls. But, James had worked to do and he parted with the interns. They were reluctant to say goodbye, but they all knew Gustavo would blow a fuse if _they_ held up James.

James found Gustavo in the recording area with his secretary, the guitarist for James, Guitar Dude, and…Kelly?

Apparently James wasn't imagining Kelly, because Logan saw her too. His eyes widened and his body rose when his eyes landed on her. The orphanage caretaker laughed and waved at Logan. Even though he did not squirm in his arms, James knew Logan wanted to greet his caretaker. He placed the boy down on the ground, watching as his little feet carried him to the woman.

"Hi there Logan. How are you doing?" She asked with a warm smile. When she had bent down, Logan threw his skinny arms across Kelly's neck.

"Kelly! What are you doing here?" He asked breathlessly. Kelly laughed again as the two began to converse quietly with one another. Gustavo caught James staring and smirked.

"Ms. Kelly here, wanted to see how the little guy was doing. Considering Logan's past and how much she really cares for him, she wanted to make sure he was in a good environment. So she called me two days ago and flew out last night to see you guys in person. She wanted to surprise both of you." Gustavo explained. James smiled and stood closer to James. Gustavo's eyes suddenly became serious. "She wanted to surprise you because she didn't want you to 'prepare to be happy' and Logan. She wanted you and him to be happy and unexpected. Apparently people have done that in the past."

A disgusted scowl made its way on James' face. He couldn't believe some people.

"Don't worry dog, I told her you and Kendall weren't like that. She said she believed so but she had to do it." Gustavo said. James nodded in understanding, feeling a bit touched that Gustavo would say something so nice about him.

"Also, surprisingly, the woman is great at music production and work." Gustavo shrugged cheeks red. James smirked. "The only reason I let her in _my_ studio was because she understood the business." The smirk widened on Kendall. Quickly Gustavo cleared his throat.

"Dog, go and get into the booth and get these songs finished! Now!" He attempted to demand, but the smirk never left his face and he bowed at the producer. Logan watched curiously when James entered the booth, crawling onto a chair by Gustavo to see James. When he saw the brunette through the window he smiled widely.

James waved from behind the glass and winked at Logan.

"Alright dog. From the top of _Halfway there_!"

"Aye aye captain!" James saluted and put his headphones on. When the music poured through the speakers of the booth, James closed his eyes and found himself lost in his own little world. His heart raised higher when this song suddenly had new meaning to it.

_"We're halfway there, we're looking good now. Nothing's gonna get in the way. We're halfway there, and looking back now, I never thought that I'd say, we're halfway there. We're halfway there."_

X.X.X.X

Kelly watched as Logan stared at James while he sang with eyes of enchantment. His eyes looked at James adoringly as he tapped to the songs that James sang. The little smile he wore was on his face the entire time James sang and Kelly felt her heart fill with happiness.

When James finally finished singing, hours later, Logan was the first to start clapping happily. Gustavo, Kelly and the other' soon joined in with laughter and James bowed cockily. Kelly had to admit: James was talented and deserved the applause. Besides, she had seen the devotion and love in Logan for the first time in six months and that was all she needed to know James was good.

As James exited the recording booth, Logan leaped in with a tight hug. "You were amazing James!"

"I was. Wasn't I kiddo?" James laughed cockily while Logan beamed. James smiled at how happy Logan looked but he wished he could hear Logan's laugh. All he wanted was to finally hear Logan laugh.

Kelly had suggested that Gustavo show Logan the sound board, where she was able to sneak James away to a private corner. The twenty-three-year-old was red and sweating, but his smile was real.

"Hey Kelly, fancy meeting you here today." He wiggled his eyebrows and Kelly blushed.

"Well, I told you I would check up on Logan." She said back. James nodded with a short laugh, but behind his eyes she could see he was becoming nervous. Gently, she pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you James." She whispered, when James stiffened in the hug. Confusion radiated off of him. When she pulled back, she saw his confusion and some relief. "Thank you for helping Logan. It's been just under two weeks and you and Kendall have him smiling. Oh bless you two!" She gushed when James blushed at the compliments. "I have _never_ seen Logan so happy. You and Kendall are absolutely perfect and just what he needed. Thank you so much! I'm very proud of you James. And Kendall. Logan had already told me so much about your fiancé, which makes me happy they're getting along so well also!"

"It's nothing Ms. Kelly."

"But it is." Kelly insisted. "Logan, he was so…he was so sad in the six months I knew him. He was sad and alone. And everyday I would pray that someone – someone good, mind you – would foster him. And you two are just perfect for him. Thank you so much." Tears had formed in her eyes and James swallowed.

"Oh Kelly, Kendall and I would never dream of anything else. Logan is so amazing and truly a special little boy." James said lovingly.

"I know. And he deserved a very special Christmas. And I _know_ you both can give him that. Bless you both. Bless your hearts." She cried happily before pulling James into another hug. This time, James did hug back.

When he pulled away, he bit his lips nervously. "Ah, but Kelly."

Her eyes widened.

"Could you tell me…could you tell me what happened to Logan? With his parents? We kept finding new heartbreaking stuff, and I just…I want to know what happened with Logan." James asked softly. His hazel eyes pleaded with Kelly, just begging her to tell him. With a sigh, she pulled a manila folder from her bag.

"I thought you'd ask eventually." She said sadly. "This is Logan's file. It will tell you about his parents…and his past. But I must warn you, it's not pretty at all." The truth hurt her so much to say. James stared with horror and his fingers were shaking when he took the envelope.

He would read this tonight. _With_ Kendall. Together.

And then, once they knew the truth. They would make sure Logan got the love he deserved.

He would make sure of that.

* * *

**So kinda a sadish chapter with some fluff to pull it up. I hope that's okay, but I'm sure you are all actually interested in Logan's past. Are you not? I hope so. So, the next chapter will be about his past. Meaning more tears, and more sadness. Sorry you guys. But I'm hoping it'll be the last chapter for a long, long time for this story. I hope you have tissues ready.**

**AND now you all know why Kendall was kind of a big fat asshole. Haha. I hope that made you all feel for Kendall a bit, and was a reasonable reason as to why he was against it. Was it a good enough reason? I thought so. Poor guy.**

**Anyhow, I will hopefully update again tomorrow. ;). So, thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Please tell me your thoughts in a review! I love them all!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	8. Learning

**Whoa, whoa you guys. Hey, I think a lot of you got mixed up last chapter. Look, I did not mean that this chapter would be the last for a while, no way! I meant I was hoping this would be the last **_**sad**_** chapter for a long, long time. Guys I still have like a week and a half left of winter break. I'll be writing everyday and trying to update everyday also. Okay, no worries! ;) But I was happy to hear many of you would be upset if I didn't continue this story! Inspiration!**

**So it's time for Logan's past. I have no comments, besides sadness is ahead and heavy hearts….**

**And you guys are just SO SWEET! With your reviews and then PMS and faves and alerts. Really guys, you're all so SWEET! Now I replied to everyone who had logged in, so here's my replies to those who did not Log in or reviewed very recently while I wrote this chapter:**

**Scarlett: Helloo again dear! I did update today! Hooray! ;) I'm so happy you are excited and waiting to read more. At least today has come, I apologize it is somewhat later in the evening but at least I got it up! And aww you are a sweetheart! Thank you so much! I hope you this chapter was good enough!**

**Lovesall: Hey! You are very welcome! And yes now we know why Kendall was a jerk, but you're right, all three of them are amazing now! I hope this chapter was good!**

**Anonymous: Hey there my anon, again I apologize for any confusion. As I stated before, I'm not going anywhere ;). I won't make you wait. But thanks for willing to be patient and loving this story! Thank you and enjoy this chapter please!**

**CrazyKAMESFan13: Hiya! Yes, aw Logie and good. Fangirling is great ;). I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Learning**

_December 18, 2011- 5:45 p.m._

Twenty minutes. One more period. That was all that was left for Kendall's hockey game. Just twenty more minutes before they would qualify for the Stanley Cup and head off. His heart thundered with adrenaline in his chest, while drops of sweat slid down his neck under his helmet. The scent of victory mixed with the cool ice lingered inside the crowded rink. And loud gracious cheers hammered across the rink, rooting their home team for victory.

Kendall smiled breathlessly as he skated over to his team before the start of the third period. His teammates were also sweaty, out of breath and red, but they were also pumped up with the smell of victory so near. The coach nodded to Kendall from the bench with a grin and Kendall acknowledged him back.

"Alright guys. One more period left and we've landed ourselves into, the cup." Kendall grinned, unstrapping the helmet. They had just less than ten minutes of a rest before the third period was to start. This was a chance to rehydrate and go over game plans and strategies, and as the captain that was Kendall's job.

He grinned when Carlos skated up to him to hand him a water bottle. He thanked the shorter man and drank. The entire time he dank, he could feel everyone's eyes on him, and Carlos was wearing his famous ridiculously, annoying smirk.

"What?" Kendall asked. The others on the team sniggered at their captain, whilst Carlos swung an arm around Kendall's shoulders.

"So Kendall…how's the little kid at your house? Doing well?" He grinned cheekily. The others snickered at Carlos' comments but looked to Kendall. The captain could feel his face beginning to heat up. But he wasn't about to give his team the satisfactory or humiliating him. _He_ was the captain.

"How do you all even know about that?" Kendall narrowed his eyes at the men on his team. Now they had lost their snickers and replaced them with sheepish looks, and hands rubbing the backs of their necks.

"Well obviously, you know why I know." Carlos said loudly. Next to Kendall, his next best player after Carlos, Dak Zevon, pulled something from the bench. He handed them to Kendall with a small smile. The tall, blonde was looking at five different tabloids and celebrity magazines meant for the public. But what caught his eyes was the fact that Kendall or James were on every single cover. _And_ Logan was also on some of the covers. _Logan_.

One magazine was titled: "Kendall Knight and James Diamond, the new Celebrities caught with a child. Was a secret adoption pulled for them? Or is he family?"

Another said, "Mystery New Boy for Knight and Diamond: Who is he to the men?"

And another was labeled: "Hollywood's Newest Couple: Adopting in Secret or Surrogate?"

Kendall swallowed when he continued to look through each magazine, finding that James and Kendall _and_ Logan were the main article for every magazine or tabloid. He frowned at the violation to their privacy. It wasn't the first time the _stupid_ paparazzi had violated their privacy to get some juicy story. Truth or not. But this time, Logan was involved. Kendall felt furious that they would violate _Logan's_ privacy.

"So…you gonna tell us if these are true or not dude?" Dak finally spoke up, snatching the magazines from Kendall and resting them on the bench. Kendall sighed in embarrassment and grinned sheepishly at the team. He knew they were joking but also wondering why Kendall hadn't told them about Logan at all.

"Well you see…James went and participated him and I, in a program called 'Home For The Holidays' at an orphanage. It was down in Minnesota, and that's where Logan's from." Kendall laughed nervously. "We are kind of…fostering him for one month through the holidays."

In the next instant his entire team exploding with praise, congratulations and questions.

"Dude, he finally got you to accept looking after a kid?"

"You guys are fostering him? All the way through New Years?"

"Congrats man! That's awesome. You and James would make good guardians!"

Kendall smiled brightly at his team's acceptance and enthusiasm. It would make everything so much easier. He was lucky that the entire team had been supportive of his sexuality and love, with no disgust or disrespect towards him. His team was like another family for him and James. Their acceptance of Logan made his heart swell.

When the buzzer went off, signaling one more minute was left in the break, Kendall snapped back into leader mode. "Alright guys, we can all talk about this _after_ we win this game. Now, are you ready to go to the Stanley Cup?"

"Hell yeah!"

X.X.X.X

_7:30 p.m._

The locker room for the LA Kings was in a celebration mood, with cheering and yelling all across the room. Every player wore a huge smile on their face, and Kendall couldn't be more proud of the team. Even the coach was cheering along with the team, with a grin of his own.

They had beaten the Pittsburg Penguins, 4-2. They were in the Stanley Cup.

Kendall laughed when his team mates patted his back and congratulated their captain while they changed and showered. He grinned over at the energetic Carlos, who was literally bouncing off the walls in absolute joy. The Latino had jumped his way over to Kendall and swung and arm around his long-time best friend's shoulder. Kendall laughed and gave a yell of excitement with Carlos.

"So Kenny, when do we get to see this little Logan of yours?" He asked, wiggling his dark eyebrows. Other member's of the team had gathered around at the words; some were already showered, some were just getting out of their uniforms while others were finishing changing. Their grins had widened to smirks.

It was no secret that they knew Kendall loved kids. But they also knew Kendall had been reluctant to having any.

"I don't know Carlos. I'm not sure I want Logie around someone like you. You are a bit unstable." Kendall pretended to sigh dramatically, shaking Carlos' arms off his shoulder. When he turned around to put his shirt on, Carlos pouted behind his back. His teammates merely laughed.

"He's got a point 'Los. _You_ might get hurt around him." Dak chuckled from his locker. Carlos shouted in protest while the team continued to roar in laughter. Kendall even laughed along side his team. But Carlos grinned at Kendall before shoving the blonde aside and reaching into his locker. Kendall protested knowing very well what Carlos was looking for. It was too late though. Carlos had found his phone.

"Carlos, give it back!" Kendall yelled from his locker, when Carlos dashed away from Kendall. He laughed victoriously and continued to search through Kendall's phone. Once he had found what he was looking for, he shouted with a triumph, "Aha!"

"I found a picture of wittle Logie." Carlos mocked playfully and waved the phone in the air. Kendall groaned when his teammates immediately ran to see the picture. Each of them waited their turn to be shown Logan by Carlos.

"Hey, he's a cute kid." One of his defenders said over Carlos' shoulder.

"Yeah but he's small. Hey look! There's James too!" Dak commented. Kendall's face went red and he rushed towards his phone. He couldn't remember if there were completely…_clean_ pictures in his phone. But he didn't want to risk the chance.

Kendall grabbed his phone from a forward on the team and shoved in deep into his pocket."Alright, you've all seen Logan. That's enough." He huffed and went back to his locker. When he reached his locker he finished putting his duffle bag together before shutting the locker. His team had already gathered around him, causing Kendall to sigh with a soft smile.

"That was Logan. He's five-years-old and very shy around new people. Even with James and me, a little bit."

"Wow, five? But he's so small!" A teammate said.

"Yeah I know, he is. But that could be because of something in his past. He's an orphan. But it doesn't matter how big he is." Kendall said quickly and Carlos smiled.

"All the better to hold him with." He laughed and soon their teammates were joining in. It wasn't log before Kendall was happily joining them.

"Yeah, but he's a really sweet kid. So nice and quiet. He loves to read. We actually got to pick out a Christmas tree with him last week and get it all set up. He was a great help and had fun. It was his first Christmas tree, so James and I wanted it to be special." Kendall said softly, recalling the memory. The others smiled back at him.

"Oh wow. Well he's lucky to have you." Said Dak, as he put his hand on Kendall's shoulder. Kendall smiled gratefully at his friend. "Well, like Carlos said, when do we get to meet the little guy? You _are_ going to introduce him to the team right?" The others smirked at Kendall and waited for the obvious answer.

"Of course." Kendall snorted. "It would just be a disaster if he didn't get to meet all of you. Actually, he is a really big fan of the LA Kings. He had a poster in his room, back in the orphanage, James told me." Kendall said, remembering that Logan was a huge fan. The team looked excited and impressed. "I'll bring him to our next game. It's home and a playoff game, so Logan would be so excited to come and watch. You call meet him in between periods or after the game. I know James will want to come too."

"Yeah! You should defiantly bring him, so we can meet him! Besides it has been awhile since we've all seen and talked to James." Carlos said excitedly. Kendall laughed and nodded.

"Alright. Alright. I will bring him then. And then maybe to a practice. So, it won't be so hectic and crazy." Kendall said softly. He let out a grunt when he felt someone jumping onto his back and leaned forward. _Carlos…_

"Awesome! Awesome!" Carlos yelled from his position of Kendall's back. The team smiled happily at the new plans and sight before them. "But I get to meet Logan first right?" Carlos whispered in his ear, when their teammates had scattered across the locker room to finish getting ready. Kendall laughed.

"Yes. I promise you will." He promised with a grin. Carlos shouted in happiness again before Kendall's cell phone started ringing. The Latino respectfully jumped off Kendall's back, and wandered away, while Kendall left the locker room to answer his phone. He looked at the caller ID to see 'Katie' flashing across the screen. He frowned and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"How _could_ you _not_ tell us!?"

Kendall winced at the sudden yell. "Well, hi to you to Katie. How are you?"

"Seriously Kendall, why did you never tell us at all!?" Katie cried. Kendall frowned again having no clue on what she was going on about.

"Katie, what are you even talking about?" Kendall asked tiredly.

"Ah, hello! The mysterious little boy you and James seemed to be taking a liking to! Hmm, how about that?" Katie asked loudly. Kendall winced again, but this time it was because he knew he was in trouble. It was really a mistake, that he ad forgotten to tell his _mother_ and _sister _about Logan.

"Oh. That."

"Oh? That? Seriously Kendall, you better start explaining or I'm going to knock you all the way to –" Katie was suddenly cut off and Kendall heard the sound of the phone being moved. His mother's voice filled the speaker.

"Kendall Donald Knight, what is going on? I leave for Kansas and I find out from _tabloids_ you are adopting!" Jennifer cried into the phone. Kendall sighed.

"Look mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you yet. I forgot all about calling you two." Kendall answered honestly. The phone was moved again.

"Ha! So you did adopt a kid?" Katie cried.

"No Katie, James and I did _not_ adopt a kid." Kendall said firmly. He could hear Katie and his mother's disappointment and he couldn't help but grin. "James and I are _fostering_ a little boy for the entire holiday season."

There was two seconds of silence before Katie and his mother exploded.

"Oh my gosh, sweetheart! You two did? Oh my gosh, how did this happen?" Jennifer cried happily.

"_When_ did this happen? What's his name? What's he like?" Katie asked quickly. Kendall chuckled at his family, feeling that ache of missing them. They wouldn't be home to meet Logan for Christmas…

"Okay look. His name is Logan. He's five-years-old and he's from an orphanage in Minnesota." Kendall could hear his mother ready to interrupt, so he continued quickly. "He's part of a program called 'Home For The Holidays' at an orphanage, where you foster a child for one month throughout the holidays. And Logan was our pick. James brought him home on the fourth and he's been with us for two weeks now. He's such a sweet little boy."

"Really? Is he cute?" Katie asked. Her mother scolded the girl and the phone shuffled once more. Soon Jennifer was speaking.

"Oh Kendall, that's so great. I'm so happy you two did this for that little boy. Now neither of you will be alone for Christmas." Jennifer said. Kendall laughed again and smiled. "This is so wonderful. I only wish I could meet him and see him."

"Hey, I'll see if I can Skype you on Christmas." Kendall said as he brain turned. "This way you can see him for the first time and he can meet you before you come in person. He's a bit shy and skittish, so this would be good. And I'll have him call you someday. He's seen pictures of you and I've told him about both of you already." Kendal explained. He could hear the phone being moved again.

"You better Skype us and call big brother. I want to meet my foster-nephew before he leaves." Katie demanded firmly. Kendall laughed at her tone.

"Yes of course, baby sister. James and I will make sure of it." Kendall murmured. He could hear the excitement and curiosity in both Katie and his mother's voice. Helping Logan really had been the best decision they had made. Kendall waited by his car as he explained Logan's personality and the fact that he had a mysterious and seemingly past. Logan _needed _their help.

"Mom and I are coming home on the 27th. We better get to meet Logan in person before he leaves." Katie yelled. Kendall smiled at the idea.

"Yes, you both will defiantly get to meet Logan."

"Kendall I'm so proud of you honey."Jennifer told her son. "Not only for helping someone like Logan this holiday, but also because I knew you were so hesitant. I knew you were scared about your father and becoming a father, but I'm proud that you did not let that rule you. And that you're helping with this child, sweetheart."

Kendall felt his heart flutter at the thought. "Thanks mom."

X.X.X.X

_James and Kendall's house- 8:30 p.m._

Kendall had arrived home with Chinese food, to find Logan and James watching a rerun of his hockey game on TV. He had laughed upon seeing the two both excited and yelling at the TV. When they realized Kendall was home, Logan was the first to jump up and give Kendall a hug. When Kendall picked him up, Logan gushed about how exciting the game was and how _awesome_ Kendall was. James laughed from his seat and told Logan that Kendall would get a big ego, if he kept telling Kendall he was awesome.

Kendall had retaliated by sticking his tongue out immaturely.

The three gathered in the living room, watching the hockey game still, and happily eating the food. Again, Logan had been hesitant about eating it but found he rather enjoyed the shrimp and rice. He didn't particularly like the stir fry (that was okay, it meant more for James!) but he devoured the eggroll.

Kendall knew something was on James' mind by the distant look in the back of his eyes. When their eyes met, James nodded his head to the kitchen. From his seat, Kendall could see a manila folder in James' coat on the counter. His eyes widened as he looked back at James. Was that what he thought it was? James mouthed, 'Logan's file' over Logan's head, and Kendall nodded with a swallow.

His file.

His past. They were going to read about his past.

Logan had been tired out early, after the exciting day. He'd fallen asleep right there on the couch, with Benny tucked under his little chin. Soft snores came from his mouth as he slept on James' thigh. Kendall and James both smiled loving at Logan before putting the child t bed. The made the nightly routine quick and short, having Logan in bed in record time and fast asleep. The two were silent as they headed to the kitchen. Each of them were lost in their own fearful thoughts, about what could be in that file.

When it was time to actually read the file, Kendall and James simply stared at the folder. They feared of what they would find. Slowly, Kendall took James' hand and squeezed it. The taller male looked at Kendall and smiled weakly.

Finally they opened the file to read.

* * *

**Name:** _Logan Hortense Mitchell_

**Age: **_Five years_

**Birthday: **_March 14, 2006_

**Parents:**_Joanna Carlene Mitchell and Henry Carter Mitchell (Ages 31 and 32)_

**Length of Orphaned:** _Six months, since the day of July 8, 2011_

**Medical History:** _Severe asthma, due to pneumonia at age 3 on January 2, 2009, anxiety, fright, a concussion reported when taken in. Along with a broken arm, severe malnourishment, dehydration, severe arch in the spinal cord, lacerations on the back, 1__st__ and 3__rd__ degree burns along the right forearm; the left shoulder; the lower back and right calf, multiple bruises along the chest, arms, legs and face, a fractured cheek bone and twisted left ankle. All reported at Good Samaritan's Hospital in Minnesota_

**Dates of entry and Names**_**: **__Mr. Logan Mitchell was brought to Good Samaritan's on July 2, 2011 unconscious with the previous injuries listed in "Medical History". He was brought in by the K-41__st__ police unit by a Mr. Jonathon Carter, the chief officer, and his partner, a Mrs. Wendy Williams. He was diagnosed as severely underweight, malnourished and dehydrated by a Dr. Kenneth Adams, his main doctor. Mr. Logan Mitchell was then admitted to St. Anthony Orphanage on May 8, 2011 and assigned to the caretaker Ms. Kelly Wainwright._

**Court Dates and Verdicts:** _On July 6, 2011 Mr. Carter presented to the court the case of Child Abuse in Logan Mitchell Vs. Minnesota. His lawyer, Mr. Samuel Kenston, presented the case for Logan as a minor of Child abuse against Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell. Both adults were accused of Child Abuse and attempt of murder. The county court found them guilty of child abuse and attempt of murder by Judge Jonathon Walkins. On July, 24, 2011 the State Court was now presented the case of Logan Mitchell. The court found Joanna Mitchell and Henry Mitchell guilty of Child Abuse in the 1__st__ degree but not guilty of Attempt of murder in the 2__nd__ degree. Logan Mitchell was ordered full custody by the law to St. Anthony officially on July 25, 2011 by judge William Winston._

**Reason For Orphanage Route:** _Child Abuse in the 1__st__ degree. Attempted murder in the 2__nd__ degree._

**History: **_Mr. Logan Mitchell had claimed he'd been abused for as long as he could remember. By Doctor Adams, he was also diagnosed with photographic memory and being a victim of abuse for several years. On July 31, 2011, Officer Carter and Williams sat down with Logan to discuss his memory._

_Logan was declared mute when he refused to speak, when no record of vocal damage was recorder. He was then diagnosed with severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder by his abuse. However, Logan did try to nonverbally communicate through writing by Ms. Wainwright. He would write and describe his past accounts when Ms. Wainwright would then explain to the officers verbally._

_Mr. Logan Mitchell recounted several occurrences of verbal, nonverbal, physical, mental and emotional abuse. The child could correctly and innocently recall events from his age of only 1 year where his first account of neglect began. He could recall being left alone on the floor of the house for days by himself. Mrs. Mitchell nor Mr. Mitchell came to check on him for days and did not care for his needs._

_Mr. Logan could recall being able to walk by the age of 1 year also. It was then approximately 4 months after his first recall when the abuse began. He would describe the abuse as simply beginning in verbal abuse of his mental and emotionally state. On several accounts Mrs. Mitchell called Mr. Logan a "Disgrace, a failure; a son of bitch that ruined my life." To which Mrs. Mitchell agreed she had stated. Mr. Logan also claimed Mr. Mitchell would yell and scream his verbal abuse, calling Logan, "A bastard; a good for nothing son of a bitch; a monster; not my son; a being that deserved to die." And once more Mr. Mitchell admitted Logan's claims were true._

_Mr. Logan also claimed Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell _both_ wished death and murder upon Logan on multiple accounts over five years. He claimed the adults would threaten to kill him also on multiple accounts. It was later found that an anonymous friend of Mr. Mitchell confirmed that Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell threatened to kill their son._

_Mr. Logan then claimed his first recall of physical abuse was just a month before his second birthday. Mr. Mitchell had taken his fist down onto the skin on Mr. Logan's back and face multiple times before Mr. Logan lost consciousness. He then claimed Mr. Mitchell continued to physically assault and beat him everyday for almost four more years. It was confirmed by Dr. Adams, that signs of physical abuse were detected as early as over four years prior to the hospital visit._

_When asked, Mr. Logan claimed Mrs. Mitchell only slapped him or encouraged her husband in abusing Mr. Logan. But Mrs. Mitchell never physically abused him. Mrs. Mitchell was able to confirm this._

_Mr. Logan could recall several forms of physical abuse, which were confirmed by Dr. Adams in his examination of Mr. Logan. These forms of abuse included:_

_-Beatings of human fists and kicks from leather boots_

_-Burns in the 1__st__ and 3__rd__ degree, along with raw skin and scars to confirm, fire burns; boiling water burns; heated metal burns and cigarette burns._

_-Scars from sharp objects penetrating the skin. Shallow and Deep Scars._

_-Scars on the arm and left cheek to indicate a fracture or broken bone of which was never treated properly in this past. Note: Dr. Adams managed to reset the bones in order to heal correctly, by rebreaking the bones._

_-Welts on the back and scars that occurred from a form of Whipping_

_-Red eyes indicating fumes and forms of small acid (such as bleach) were deposited in a room Mr. Logan was in or into the eye socket._

_Mr. Logan could claim that each of the listed abuses was used on him by Mr. Mitchell on several accounts._

_One account Mr. Logan clearly can recall, which caused a mental breakdown with Ms. Wainwright from him, was a day when he was of 3 years. He had claimed he dropped and broke a plate when cleaning them, when Mr. Mitchell came in furious. Mr. Logan recalled Mr. Mitchell forced him to step on the broken glass with bare feet, causing each feet to split open and bleed, where Mr. Mitchell proceeded to yank Mr. Logan's arm towards the oven burner. He wrote that he remembered the over burner to be "Bright red and glowing from the high heat." And Mr. Mitchell proceeded to press the skin of Mr. Logan's right arm down onto the hot burner. Mr. Logan recalled screaming in pain, and begging Mr. Mitchell to stop but Mr. Mitchell had placed his arm straight onto the hot burner for approximately five minutes, before releasing Mr. Logan's arm. Mr. Logan claimed his arm was quote, "In searing pain, and the shin was burnt red and burning still, even off the burner" and Mr. Mitchell nor Mrs. Mitchell properly treated Mr. Logan's wound for proper medical help._

_Mr. Mitchell and Mrs. Mitchell both confirmed Mr. Logan's account to be true._

_Another account of abuse Mr. Logan could clearly recall was when he was just of 4 years when he was thrown into the downstairs hall closet, located on the first floor in the south of the house. Mr. Logan claimed that Mr. Mitchell or Mrs. Mitchell would constantly lock Mr. Logan into the small and cramped closet whenever they left the house. But when he was 4 years, after being locked in the closet for almost 6 entire hours, Mr. Mitchell was claimed to have come to the closet drunk. Where he proceeded to touch and grab Mr. Logan in areas that would be considered inappropriate (Mr. Logan did not know it was considered inappropriate and told exactly where he would be touched). He recalled begging and pleading Mr. Mitchell to stop, but the drunken man only slapped and hit Mr. Logan across his face multiple times until he ceased talking. He recalled Mr. Mitchell pulling Mr. Logan's pants down to his ankles and continuing to touch Mr. Logan. Mr. Mitchell did not cease in touching until an equally drunken Mrs. Mitchell barged in and pulled her husband upstairs. The couple left Mr. Logan scared and naked while they continued in their own intercourse._

_Mr. Mitchell denies this. He claims he has not memory of this. Memory loss is a symptom of alcohol. _

_Mr. Logan claimed that Mr. Mitchell continued to touch him as he had that night at least three nights of the week for every week until he was taken out of custody. It was confirmed by Dr. Adams, that signs of sexual rape and abuse were evident on Mr. Logan. However, Dr. Adams was unable to exactly confirm how long Mr. Logan was being sexually abused._

_When asked, Mr. Logan wrote he could clearly remember the day of May 2, 2011. He claimed he had not eaten anything besides a moldy slice of bread in over a week. It was confirmed Mr. Logan was severely starved and underweight. Mr. Logan recalled Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell were asleep upstairs from a hangover of a party they went to the night before. He claimed, Mr. Mitchell had forgotten about him in the dinning room last night and had not locked Mr. Logan in the closet that day. Mr. Logan claimed he was starved and hungry. He had snuck into the kitchen and pulled out a full apple from the refrigerator he was "Forbidden" to go in. He remembered eating the apple whole in four bites quickly, before eating two more. He ceased eating when his stomach began to feel queasy and unsettling (Dr. Adams explained this happens when the body does not get enough food or nutrients and then is fed more than the shrunken stomach can handle). Mrs. Mitchell had caught Mr. Logan in the refrigerator and screamed at Mr. Logan. Her husband had followed her and found Mr. Logan. Mr. Logan then recalled Mr. Mitchell beating him with his fists, punching repeatedly and not ceasing for hours. Mr. Mitchell then proceeded to fill the kitchen sink with water, before engulfing Mr. Logan's entire face under the water. He kept Mr. Logan's face under water for an entire minute before pulling Mr. Logan up for air for a few seconds. He then repeated the procedure about four more times. Mr. Logan was already weakened by the strenuous beatings and was on the brink of falling unconscious when Mrs. Mitchell had handed her husband a kitchen knife._

_Mr. Logan claims he had fallen unconscious to a burning sensation in his stomach and remembered nothing more. It was later found in surgery Mr. Logan had a deep stab wound in the left area of Mr. Logan's stomach along with a shallower stab wound over his third right rib._

_Officer Williams and Carter had gotten several calls of complaints and worries over the past week by neighbors and friends of the Mitchells. The two investigated and were on a stake out when they could hear screams from a child from the Mitchell house, and loud yelling from adults. Without hesitation the two officers with three other back up officers broke into the house to find an unconscious Mr. Logan bleeding on the floor and pale, along with Mr. Mitchell standing over him with a bloodied steak knife._

_Officer Carter and the three back up managed to take down and arrest Mr. Mitchell and Mrs. Mitchell where officer Williams called for emergency help and an ambulance arrived within the hour._

_Mr. Logan was awaked on May 5, 2011 and explained by Officer Carter where he would be living now and what would happen._

_Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell pleaded insanity and were charge with half a century in prison for Severe Child Abuse and both adults were lost entire custody over a Mr. Logan Hortense Mitchell. _

By the last paragraph James _and _Kendall were both crying and their hands shook violently as they clutched Logan's file. Their hearts were shattered into a million pieces upon realization.

_How could anyone hurt him?_

* * *

**And ending it there. Now, I apologize first if any legal terms in his file sounded bad or unreal, I do not know much about legal terms and ways than what I see on TV. So sorry.**

**Buuuut, I hope that was a sad chapter to read. What did you guys all think of Logan's file? Was it anything you were expecting? Was it sad? I could literally feel my heartbreaking as I wrote it. So I hope now you feel for Logan, now that you know mainly what his past consisted of.**

**Damn you Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell of my mind for hurting Logie! Damn you!**

***Sobs* Anyhow I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and it was good, I did really spend a lot of time trying to make the file look good. Haha…**

**So thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Maybe some tissues or a shoulder to cry on? Send me your thoughts in a review please, I always love them!**

**I'll try to update again tomorrow ;)**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	9. Gingerbread

**Hey you guys I am back! So, as promised I have come to give you a very fluffy chapter after the last sad one. It's so fluffy; I fear I may give you cavities. Oh god, I apologize ahead of time! Also, I apologize for all my stupid grammar mistakes, I don't have a beta and I usually have to rush to post each chapter. So, sorry!**

**Anyway, again THANK YOU to all of you who review this story or have faved it or alerted it. It truly makes my concussion better and makes my day! I always love to respond back to you guys! And thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this chapter!**

**So I hope I replied to all your reviews of the last chapter if you logged in (if not please tell me!), and I have one person who hasn't logged in.**

**Sarlett: Aw once more you are so very kind, and I am very happy you enjoy this story! Thank you! ;) And aww, I hope you did get some sleep, haha. I think you will really like this chapter! And I know it was sad, Logan's past was so sad to write! ;(. It was hard to write his past, but thank you for reviewing!**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Gingerbread**

_December 18, 2011-9:00 p.m._

Kendall and James felt as if they were frozen in time, unable to move from where they were. Kendall's cheeks were shinning with obvious tear tracks, and James still had tears running down his own face. The looks of pain on both of their faces matched that of a person who's loved one was claimed dead. Logan's file had slipped from both of their trembling hands and now lay unobserved on the kitchen counter.

Kendall could feel his heart beginning to thunder with a newfound rage. He could feel his anger creeping into his blood stream, and his hands tightened into fists so tight that his knuckles became white. He could remember the last time he had ever felt _this_ furious. And that had been right after his father had deserted him.

He hated the Mitchells. He hated them as he hated his own father, with disgust and fury. The Mitchells were a disgrace to humans, the lowest of the low, or the scum of the Earth. And Kendall hated them for what they had done.

He didn't know why Logan had made such an impact on him, or why he was this upset for Logan – a child he had only met over a week ago. Sure, he'd be angry at any parent who'd done that to their child and disgusted with them. But Kendall was more than angry about this; he was absolutely _furious_ and disgusted about the Mitchells.

James, on the other hand, was beyond with grief for Logan. He was appalled, even horrified about what he had found out about Logan's past. His heart was breaking once more, and his throat was tight. His fears had been confirmed to a level he had never imagined. Of course, he began to figure Logan's pa – ahem, _the_ Mitchells, had to have been mean or neglectful. But never did he imagine that Logan had been a victim of child abuse. Let alone, a young victim of _severe_ child abuse.

James felt the same connection for Logan that Kendall had felt, and he also could not explain why. Though, the connection James held was much, much stronger. There was just something special, and wonderful about Logan. But he couldn't figure what.

Kendall and James had kept their hands entwined the entire time they read over Logan's file and they were still together, shaking like leaves now. The sorrow and pain both of the men felt seemed to pass through one another. Neither male spoke up for a long time.

_How could anyone hurt him?_

This was worse than either of them had thought. Much, much worse.

Finally James was the first to break the heavy silence. "I-I can't believe this. I never imagined…" He whispered. He didn't need to continue for Kendall knew exactly what he was trying to say, and he nodded numbly.

"I know. I thought it was b-bad…but this bad?" Kendall swallowed thickly and shook his head. "I cannot believe these _bastards_ could ever do this to their own child! To someone as little as Logan!" He barked angrily, eyes filling with hot, angry tears. He could feel James shaking in agreement beside him.

"No wonder he's so afraid. Oh god, the poor kid." James nearly gagged. "He never deserved that. How could they have done this to either of them?" James whispered sadly, wiping his eyes of tears. Kendall sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Because they're sick. That's why. Sick and disgusting people." He growled and unclenched on white fist. He continued to feel James shaking, and gently he stood up to sit right next to his fiancé. There he wrapped both arms around James' trembling shoulders and pulled him close to his chest.

"What do we do now?" James asked quietly, throwing his arms around Kendall's waist.

"Nothing. We continue to help Logan, and we give him the Christmas he deserves to have." Kendall said in a gentler voice. He laid his chin on top of James' head. "We just need to be careful and always watch out for him. Now we understand what he's been through, and we can understand any signs he shows of fear. Now that we understand, we can truly try to help him." Kendall murmured firmly. He felt James nod into his chest.

"You're right. Now, we have to make this a _very special _Christmas for him. One that he can smile and laugh about and he'll never forget, for the rest of his life." James agreed in a soft voice.

In the dark, three hearts in that house were beginning to mend, and bond together, without anyone having a single clue that they were.

X.X.X.X

Kendall and James had put Logan's file away, in a top drawer in the kitchen with a lock on. They agreed to never look upon it again and to keep it locked up, where Logan couldn't find it. They didn't need Logan to see his file again and bring up unwanted memories.

The two had headed straight for Logan's room without hesitation that night. Upon entering the room , the two couldn't help but look around and smile. The room was looking less and less like a guest room and more and more like a young child's room. Logan's newest toys were scattered across the rug in his room, his bookshelf was neat with dozens and dozens of book to read.

And little Logan, was curled up in his bed, snug under the covers and buried into his soft pillows. Benny was tucked firmly under his chin, smiling up at the sleeping boy.

James smiled gently at the sleeping child and sat down on the edge of his bed. Kendall was standing by Logan's pillows looking down at Logan painfully. _What was special about this little boy?_ It was then, that both men heard the whimpers.

James was the first to hear a small whimper coming from Logan. He moved towards Logan's face to find a pained expression was on the slumbering face. More whimpers came from Logan. Benny was clutched even tighter towards Logan, as a range of pained expression crossed Logan's face.

He was having a nightmare.

Without hesitation, James kneeled in front of Logan, followed by Kendall. Both men gently reached with their hands to comfort Logan. James brushed Logan's hair back gently and stroked his cheek in comfort, while Kendall gently rubbed the frightened child's shoulder.

"Shh Logie, it's okay." Kendall whispered in a soothing voice. Logan continued to whimper pitifully. "Oh Logie, wake up. You're okay. Wake up." The blonde pleaded softly. Still Logan did not awake.

"Logie, it's just a nightmare. You're safe." James said gently, brushing Logan's fluffy hair back. The child flinched in his sleep but slowly the whimpers quieted. "There you go Logie. You're safe with Kendall and I. It's James, alright? You're safe." James continued in a gentle voice as Kendall rubbed Logan's shoulders. The whimpers finally ceased and the pained expression on Logan was slowly beginning to soften.

As Logan slept on, his face became more and more relaxed until he was finally in a peaceful sleep. James and Kendall smiled gently.

"There you go Logan. Sleep peacefully." James whispered and ran his fingers through Logan's hair one more time. The little boy sighed peacefully in his sleep, and was no longer fighting unwanted dreams. Kendall stood first and helped James to his first. He gazed down at Logan with a soft expression for the poor child.

"You're safe." He whispered into the night and both adults leaned down to gently press a kiss to Logan's forehead and cheek.

Unknown to Kendall or James, Logan had woken up from his dream just as he felt two loving kisses being pressed to his face. He pretended to remain asleep.

And butterflies filled his warm tummy.

* * *

_December 19, 2011- 9:30 a.m._

All three members of the Knight-Diamond household had woken up a bit later than usual. They were still in their pajamas with messy hair and disarrayed clothes with sleep still evident in their eyes. James had made a simple breakfast of cinnamon waffles with syrup, while Kendall helped Logan into his chair.

James smiled to himself when he watched his fiancé helping Logan. A pang of heartache hit him when he saw Logan, remembering what his file had told him._ Poor Logan…_

"Who's hungry?" James asked brightly, shaking the saddening thoughts from his mind. Logan immediately raised his hand eagerly causing Kendall to chuckle.

"I'm starving. I get first pick." Kendall said. Logan looked up at Kendall with a pout and shook his head. Kendall's eyes softened but he remained in character.

"Nu-uh." Logan protested.

"Oh yes. I'm bigger and older, so I get to eat first." Kendall argued back and crossed his arms over his chest. Logan pouted further, sticking his bottom lip. Taking a seat, James silently snickered at the two and their immaturities.

"No. I raised my hand first!" Logan said, believing his logic was the correct way to win an argument. Kendall laughed and shook his head. He then proceeded to stick his tongue out a Logan, acting much younger than he should. Logan gasped in his seat.

"Hey!" He cried. But Kendall continued to stick out his tongue mockingly. Logan's pout was soon replaced with his own tiny tongue poking out at Kendall. Kendall leaned in closer, sticking his tongue out with more emotion. Logan repeated Kendall's actions. Across the counter James was having a fit with himself on trying to control his laughing.

He lost and wound up bursting into laughter. This finally caused Logan and Kendall to break eye contact and pull their tongues back into their mouths, with confusion.

"Kendall, please act your age." James laughed lightly when he could finally control himself. "Logan's five, he is acting _his_ age."

"Logan started it." Kendall protested quickly. Logan had snapped back at Kendall to gasp once more.

"Nu-uh! Kenny did!" Logan cried. For a moment, both men had stopped when Logan had said Kendall's nickname. Logan had _never_ called them anything besides 'Kendall' or 'James'. Kendall's heart swelled and he smiled softly. "Hey!" He blinked at Logan's cry, to see the five-year-old pointing at James. Who had his own plate of waffles, and was currently eating already.

"Hey! You starting eating already?" Kendall whined. James snickered, with mouths full.

"You and Logan kept fighting immaturely. I figured it was going to take a while, so why not eat?" James said happily. Kendall and Logan both pouted in defeat.

"No fair Jamie." Logan mumbled. For a second, James felt his heart flying in the clouds. He saw Kendall beam towards him, and his throat tightened. Logan was finally opening up to them.

Kendall chuckled and handed Logan his own plate of two waffles and syrup, before piling his own plate with at least four waffles. Logan stared wide eyed at Kendall's plate, with cheeks bulging with food. He swallowed his food and spoke.

"Wow, you eat a lot."

"That's nothing." James snorted over Kendall's protest. "Kendall could eat an entire cow and _still_ be hungry after ward. He's a black hole for food." James shrugged as he went back to eating his own waffles. Kendall frowned childishly and stabbed his waffle with a fork before shoving the waffle, whole, into his mouth.

"Would not." He grumbled as he ate. The atmosphere was light and joyous in the kitchen, as the three ate. A comfortable silence washed over them. When suddenly Kendall remembered something.

"Oh yeah. Yesterday at the game, my teammates found out about Logan. And they would love to meet him."

"Oh?" James raised an eyebrow while Logan looked to Kendall. "How exactly did they find out about them?" James asked worriedly. Kendall sighed.

"Apparently some paparazzi found out. And now we are currently on the cover of every magazine or tabloid out there." Kendall grumbled bitterly. He was used to paparazzi and normally James would _never_ object to being on the cover of any magazine, but now Logan was involved.

"Damn." James growled.

"Language!" Kendall shot with a smirk, causing Logan to giggle. James' felt the corners of his lips twitch upward at his fiancé and he shook his head.

"Anyway," Kendall continued trying to change the subject. "They do really want to meet them. Carlos showed them a picture of Logan when he _borrowed_ my phone." James barked a laugh, knowing very well on what Carlos did. "I promised them I would take Logan _and_ you to our next game. It's home and our first playoff game."

Logan's eyes had brightened and widened in surprise. _A hockey game?_

"Oh, yeah. That would sound like a lot of fun actually." James said. In fact, he'd been meaning to get to one of Kendall's game to say hello to everyone again. And taking Logan to see his favorite team play and _meet_ the players would probably be a dream come true. He watched as Logan's face began to blossom in surprise and happiness. "We should all go, yes. When is it?"

"In two days, on the 21st." Kendall answered. Right before Christmas. "So do you wanna go Logan?" He asked and turned to the said child. Logan blinked when he became the center of attention and immediately blushed. But he gave Kendall a tiny, but happy nod.

"Great!" Kendall beamed, excitement running in him. "I also promised to bring Logan to come and see a practice. Because you know, it's crowded and wild at a game. So I'll bring him to a practice after Christmas. Oh. And I kind of promised Carlos he could meet Logan first. Aha, after all that he's helped with." Kendall laughed nervously. James thought for a few moments.

"Let's invite him and Camille to dinner tonight. At our place." James suggested referring to Carlos and his current two-year girlfriend. Kendall nodded at the idea. "You and I can make tacos or something and he and Camille can meet Logan. This way Logan's not crowded or around so many people."

Logan was currently looking down at his plate, with his heart hammering wildly. His face had slightly drained of color from slight fear. _A stranger was going to be in the house. With him?_ He attempted to take deep breaths to calm himself.

"Logan. You don't have to do this if you don't want." Kendall said softly, when he saw the fear on Logan's face. He gently rubbed his thumb over Logan's shaking knuckles. Logan looked up between Kendall and James fearfully. "If you don't want Carlos here, it's okay."

Logan swallowed when his throat felt dry but to everyone's surprise he shook his head. "N-No. I wanna t-try, to meet your f-friend. Is he nice?" Logan squeaked out quietly. James smiled with pride at Logan's bravery. He knew this must be very hard for the child.

"Oh yes. Carlos loves kids and he is very funny." James soothed softly. "And if you feel uncomfortable or scared at all, you let us know okay? Carlos will understand if he has to leave." James promised. Logan kept his gaze down with fright for a few more seconds before nodding.

"Alright." Kendall smiled. "Well, while we wait for dinner, who wants to make a gingerbread house?"

X.X.X.X

_1:15 p.m._

"What does gingerbread taste like?" Logan asked curiously when James pulled three pans from the cooling rack. Kendall was gathering the homemade icing and sprinkles while James had cooked and cooled the gingerbread. James turned the pans over to allow the sweet to come out of the pan molds.

Earlier Kendall had called Carlos about the night's plans. The Latino had eagerly agreed before Kendall could ask. He was due to arrive by 5:30, leaving Kendall and James time to help Logan make a gingerbread house.

"Hm, it's sweet. And fluffy like a cake unless it sits for a few days. Then it gets hard but it's still sweet and good." James explained once the gingerbread was out of the mold. He caught Kendall licking icing off his finger and scolded his fiancé. "If you keep eating it, there won't be any left to decorate with."

Logan giggled upon Kendall being scolded again. The blond pouted but waved Logan over to one of the farther kitchen draws.

"Do you know what this it?" He asked. Kendall smiled when Logan shook his head curiously. "Well this," He grinned even more and yanked open the drawer. "Is our candy and sweet haven." True to his word, the true revealed bags and bags of all types of candy. Along with gumdrops and liquorish and even more sprinkles. Logan's eyes widened to saucers.

"What are we gonna do with it?" He asked quietly.

"We're going to eat it." Logan's heart nearly stopped. "After we decorate the house with them. That's the point of making a gingerbread house." Kendall laughed and ruffled Logan's hair. He grabbed as many sweets as he could fit into his arms nodding for Logan to do the same. The small brunette smiled crookedly and grabbed a few bags of sweets.

The two dropped everything onto the counter and Logan climbed a stool to see as James laid the pieces of the house about. Logan leaned against the counter looking from the gingerbread pieces to the vanilla icing and to the various candies spread across the counter. His stomach rumbled greedily at the sight of sweets.

"Alright, shall we get started?" James grinned and placed a chef hat onto Logan's head suddenly. Logan smiled and nodded eagerly. This would be the first time he would be making what was called a "Gingerbread House", and he was excited.

"What do we do first?" Logan asked. James began to grab the gingerbread while Kendall filled a tube with icing.

"First, we have to glue the pieces all together in the shape of a house with the icing." James explained. Logan blinked blankly when he was handed the tube of icing. He looked up to see James and Kendall grinning back at him. "Look, just squeeze the tube and place icing along all four edges of each piece. Kendall and I will put the house together while you glue." James said encouragingly.

Logan looked to the pieces of gingerbread and the icing with a hint of happiness before nodding. He used both of his small hands to squeeze the tube.

And….

Nothing.

Logan frowned when nothing happened, and no icing came out. He tried to squeeze again, only this time harder. Still nothing happened. He squeezed once more, even harder, only to get the same result as before.

"It's broken." Logan mumbled in frustration. Kendall frowned and squeezed the tube. He gathered the same result as Logan. Again he squeezed down even harder, but still the icing refused to come out. With Logan's help, he squeezed down again as hard as he could and with a loud _pop!_ The icing came squirting out…

…All over James' shirt across from them.

Kendall and Logan froze when the icing landing all across James' white shirt. The taller male yelped and jumped back, but it was too late. His shirt was covered in messy lines from the icing. Kendall made a small peeping noise, and Logan stared wide eyed.

James looked up, clenching his jaw. "This was my lucky white v-neck. And you ruined it!" He cried. Kendall winced and shrugged helplessly.

"Um, sorry?"

James growled and stuck his hand in the abandoned bowl of flour on the counter. Before Kendall could react, James had thrown an entire handful of flour straight at Kendall. The blonde coughed and closed his eyes when the flour landed on his face. He opened his eyes to see his hair and face _covered_ in flour, with a smirking James in front of them.

"There, no we are even." James stated and grabbed another piece of gingerbread. Kendall, however, was becoming pouty. If there was one thing Kendall Knight hated, it was losing. He leaned over the counter when James was looking down at the gingerbread and grabbed his own handful of flour. In the next second, Logan watched with wide eyes as Kendall threw the flour into James hair.

James screeched rather loudly when the flour landed in his hair, and his eyes narrowed at Kendall who was currently doubled over in laughter upon James' messed up hair. The taller of the men retaliated by reloading his own ammunition of chocolate sprinkles. With a growl, he jerked the tube of sprinkles at Kendall, to see a handful of sprinkles hitting Kendall.

Kendall gasped when sticky sprinkles stuck to his shirt, face and hair. His own eyes narrowed darkly at the chuckling James. _It was on_.

Kendall took the tube of icing in his hand and squeezed down hard. The end of the tube exploded with icing that shot out right across James' face. James screeched once more and covered his face.

Kendall laughed in triumph and ceased releasing the icing. He grabbed a few gumdrops into his hand and tossed them into James' hair, where they stuck to the sticky icing. James glared at his fiancé and grabbed the bowl of whipped cream faster than Kendall could blink.

When Kendall did blink and opened his eyes, he was facing with a large glob of icing heading right for his face. He yelled and stumbled back when the icing landed on his nose, mouth and eyes and _into_ his mouth and nose. He gasped and wiped the icing from his eyes. He could feel the gross sensation of the whipped cream in his mouth and up his nose. _Ick_.

Next to him, a sudden and abrut giggle stopped his retaliation. James and Kendall both looked to see a _clean_ and dry Logan giggling at Kendall and James. The giggles soon broke into laughter, as a smile came upon Logan's face. James and Kendall quit their war for a moment to gaze adoringly at Logan who had finally _laughed_ for them. His laugh was defiantly a beautiful melody.

James and Kendall shared a look, and suddenly they were on the same page. James had scooped a spoonful of whipped cream with sprinkles, and Kendall had grabbed the tube of icing with a couple gumdrops. The two walked quietly towards the still laughing and oblivious Logan.

Then in the next second, James had smeared his glob of whipped cream across Logan's left cheek and nose, adding some green sprinkles. Logan gasped suddenly, but Kendall had shot the vanilla icing from his tube onto Logan's right cheek and chin. With a satisfied smirk he placed two yellow gumdrops onto Logan's cheek.

The two messy and sweet covered grown men stepped back to admire their work. Kendall and James abruptly burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Logan stared at the two laughing men, mouth gaping and eyes wide. James laughed harder, clutching his stomach and wiped tears from his eyes.

"Did you…did you really think you'd be safe in this war?" Kendall asked between laughs, gasping desperately for air. Logan's look of shock slowly turned into an evident pout. But James and Kendall were no longer watching, they were far too busy trying to control their laughter.

Logan stood up from his stool and crawled onto the counter that was coated with flour and icing and sprinkles from the mess they had made. Logan grabbed the bowl of flour with both hands, and stood on the counter over a laughing James and Kendall. With one flick of his wrists, the flour from the bowl toppled onto James and Kendall in a large mess, all over their backs, hair and the floor. Once the contents of the bowl were emptied, Logan dropped the bowl.

James and Kendall shot upward as soon as the sudden flour hit their backs. The shouted in protest and surprise before facing a giggling Logan. Their hair, and faces and backs were pure white making them look pale.

"Hey!" Kendall cried.

"You little!" James yelled clutching his poor, messed up hair. His free hand shot out towards a bottle of sprinkles for revenge. Logan's eye widened when James was suddenly dumping a quarter of the bottle of sprinkles into his soft hair. Logan whined and swatted at his hair with his hands, but it was no use. James had set in his revenge.

From the other side, Kendall had taken a bottle of chocolate syrup and squeezed down on the bottle. He watched as a stream of chocolate syrup, burst across the kitchen towards Logan, hitting the boy right in the chest. Unfortunately Logan had squealed and jumped back after getting hit; meaning James had been in his line of fire.

Now there was an _obvious_…and large chocolate stain across his white shirt. James flinched back with arms stretched out wide upon being hit by his fiancé. He gasped dramatically and stared at Kendall with a furious expression. Kendall shrunk back and tried to grin sheepishly.

"Oops." Was, all Kendall said. With something that sounded much like a battle cry James _and_ Logan had taken a bottle of caramel and cherry syrup. Together they squeezed down on the open bottle, and Kendall soon found himself covered from head to toe in sticky and wet caramel and cherry syrup. He jumped behind the counter and out of the line of fire, breathing heavily.

"Hey! No fair, it's two against one!" Kendall yelled behind the counter, searching for his own form of ammunition.

"Then surrender Kendall Knight, for ruining my lucky white v-neck!" James suggested from his position across the counter. Kendall growled and refused to be beaten. He glanced around the kitchen and found his tube of icing and chocolate syrup to be abandoned on the floor to the right of the counter he was hiding behind.

_Dare I move?_

With a deep breath, Kendall bolted from his hiding spot and lunged for the icing and syrup. From the corner of his eyes he could see James and Logan jump up from their spot behind another counter with their own syrups ready. But Kendall was quick; he had to be for hockey.

James _and_ Logan had squealed when they had been hit by both icing and chocolate syrup, leaving Kendall to laugh in victory. He stood up as James and Logan hid behind the counter. That was when Kendall finally got a good look of their kitchen.

Boy, was it a mess.

Kendall stared around to find all kinds of syrups all across the floor and the main island in the kitchen and even on a few cabinets. Flour was across the floor and island, with icing spread across in messy lines across the entire kitchen. Sprinkles and gumdrops finished coating the mess all across the kitchen. It looked as if a bomb had gone off in the kitchen.

James and Logan stood up when Kendall stopped firing to look around the kitchen. James' eyes widened.

"Oh. My. God. What have we done?" James breathed as he took in all the sights.

"We're supposed to be decorating the _gingerbread_ house not_ our_ house." Kendall laughed nervously. "Well, that was a waste. But fun." He laughed with a shrug. James shook his head but found himself laughing with Kendall and soon Logan was also giggling.

"Look at us, we're such a mess." Kendall chuckled looking from a white and chocolate sticky James with gumdrops and red sprinkles. Logan was also coated with icing and whipped cream, and various colors of sprinkles and M&M's. Kendall looked down to his own red and yellow and white self with various sprinkles also. He felt sticky and gross, but this war had been _worth it_.

"I know. Look what you two did to my hair." James whined and ran a sticky hand through his messy hair. Logan giggled again, trying to hide his laughter with his hands. "Oh you think that's funny, don't you?" James laughed and swung Logan up into his arms. Kendall heard Logan shriek, but smiled when he saw the crooked grin on Logan in James's arms.

James wiped a bit of sprinkled covered icing from Logan's nose and stuck his finger into his mouth. Logan giggled before taking his own finger to games cheek to eat an M&M.

"I hope we have enough left for the house." Kendall laughed taking a gumdrop from his hair and popping it into his mouth. James came over to the house that hadn't been built yet, with Logan still in his arms. A blush came over his cheeks and he nodded.

It turned out they barely had enough icing to make the house. They were able to add "snow" to the entire house and yard. The walls were wobbly with little glue holding it together but the house was standing up right. Kendall and James allowed Logan to randomly decorate the house with every kind of sweet or candy they had. By the end, they had made a…gorgeous house covered in every color of sprinkles in large clumps, M&Ms, licorice, gumdrops, pretzel sticks and chocolate chip cookies. Their house actually wasn't much neater than they were or their kitchen.

But it had made Logan happy, and that was all that matter.

When the three took turns, eating pieces of candy or icing and syrup from one another's faces a voice started them with fear.

"You had a food fight, and you didn't invite _me_!?"

**And how do you like that fluffy chapter? Was it good enough to make up for the extra sad last chapter with Logan's past? I thought it was cute. And honestly, James, Logan **_**and**_** Kendall. With those three, a mess was bound to happen. You all know it ;)**

**I hope this was a nice and fluffy chapter. Up next Logan gets to go to his first hockey game and meet Kendall's team! Yay, his idols! And then will be Christmas Eve and Christmas! Are you all excited for this?**

**So, thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Please keep sending anything into a review, I absolutely love reading all of them and replying to you guys! Little Logan, covered in icing and sweet will give you all a hug!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	10. Kings

**Hello my dears. I'm sorry there was no update yesterday. But my mom decided to suddenly reorganize my room so I spent hours doing that. And I only got in less than an hour to type, before we went to have an amazing family dinner. Then we went to the The Hobbit! So many feels. So I'm sorry I didn't update, but at the same time I'm not, because the Hobbit was epic. Lol, but I got up early today to get this chapter up for you guys ;)**

**Anyway again, THANK YOU to all you lovely reviewers that review chapters. I love how sweet you all are. And also to everyone who faves and alerts this story, you are just as special! ;) And everyone who takes time to actually read this thank you all too!**

**So those who never logged in the last chapter, here are my replies:**

**Scarlett: Thank you so very much! Haha, hooray for freaking out! And I'm happy to hear you always enjoy this story that is so amazing! Haha and yes Logie is so sweet, you have to love him! :D. Again, thank you, and I hope this chapter is also good!**

**Chazzy: Thank you, I am glad you like it and reviewed and bookmarked it! That's so awesome, so thank you for your review! I hope this chapter was good also.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Kings**

_December 19, 2011- 5:15 p.m._

When Carlos Garcia arrived at James and Kendall's house there were many things he and his girlfriend, Camille, had expected to see. Such as, James and Kendall making out heatedly, or Kendall and James singing; they even could expect Kendall and James to be playing floor hockey. But they did _not_ expect to find their kitchen (along with themselves) as an absolute mess, with sweets and food all across the kitchen.

When he spoke, both Kendall and James jumped at least a foot in the air and turned around. The fronts of their bodies were worse than the backs of their bodies. Both of them were covered in sweets and sticky goo from head to toes. But that was when Carlos finally saw _him_.

Little Logan.

The child James and Kendall were fostering.

The small pale and brunette boy was also covered in icing, sweets and goo, with innocent chocolate eyes finally staring into Carlos. Carlos grinned to himself when he caught James and Kendall both embarrassed as their faces turned a dark scarlet color. James was opening and closing his mouth repeatedly without saying a word, resembling a fish out of water. Kendall was simply blinking in astonishment, as if he was trying to make Carlos disappear. Kendall dragged a finger across his cheek, licking some icing away and no one spoke up.

Logan's eyes had widened upon seeing Carlos and Camille and suddenly his own face turned a bright red. He opted in burying his face into James' shoulder, turning away so his back was facing Carlos. His heart was hammering harshly in his chest and his breathing quickened in that moment. His shy side had come out once more.

For a few moments nothing happened. James and Kendall stared at Carlos and Camille, while Carlos and Camille stared at James and Kendall.

"Uh…hi." James cleared his throat, face still very red. Carlos smirked and waved towards James. "We weren't expecting, ah…you two yet." James mumbled in embarrassment. Carlos hid another snicker and nodded.

"We said we'd be here around five-thirty. It's already five-fifteen. I can see you've been…very busy." Carlos grinned while James and Kendall's faces reddened.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." Kendall mumbled with a sigh. "It's not what it looks like."

"So you mean to tell me, that you all just spilt your food supplies everywhere by accident because you aren't careful. Instead of having a war between the three of you – which I'm still upset you would dare not invite me." Carlos asked with a fake pout. Once more James' mouth opened, and then closed.

"Okay, so it _is_ what it looks like."Kendall sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Carlos looked to Camille to see the same smirk on her own face. He laughed quietly.

"So a war did happen here?"

"Yes." Kendall replied in a serious tone. James looked as if he wanted to protest or cut into the conversation, but he was distracted by the shaking boy in his arms. Gently, James bent his head down, to where Logan was hiding his face in his shoulder. Carlos could hear James whispering softly to Logan, occasionally rubbing his back with one hand.

Carlos laughed to Kendall, pretending he hadn't noticed James trying to comfort Logan. Carlos could see Camille had a curious expression and _she_ was watching James and Logan closely. His patience didn't wear as a silence rolled over the group, only being broken by the gentle whispers of James soothing Logan.

The taller male had his face right next to Logan, with a soft smile on, as he continued to whisper words of comfort to the shy little boy. Carlos smiled at the sight, willing to be patient for as long as they needed with Carlos.

Finally James whispered something to Logan that caused the little boy to raise his head off of James' shoulder. Logan was still turned away from Carlos and Camille but his head was finally raised upright as he looked at James.

Slowly, the little boy peeked over his shoulder with half a profile, to look at Carlos. Carlos felt his smile widening when he could see Logan's brown eyes and messy face. He waved happily to Logan with a smile and nod. Next to him, he could see Camille also waving.

Logan blinked at the two strangers, shrinking back a bit, but he kept looking at the two adults. When Carlos and Camille finished waving, Logan hesitantly raised his right hand. Then carefully, he waved right back at the two with a tiny, shy smile.

Carlos beamed happily.

"Well," James cleared his throat. "I need a shower, as you can probably tell as does Logan and Kendall. I guess we should all just go out to dinner. Kendall and I never actually cooked anything…" James trailed off sheepishly. Carlos laughed at his friend's embarrassment.

"That's a good idea." Kendall agreed with a nod. "Go get yourself and Logan cleaned up. I'll clean the kitchen up before we leave." James nodded, grateful he didn't have to clean up and gave Kendall a soft kiss on the lips. Logan waved to Kendall, who smiled and waved back.

"I'll help you Kendall." Carlos said and shrugged off his jacket. Kendall was about to protest when Carlos cut him off. Kendall had always been polite, and didn't ask for help often from anyone else. It was a partially annoying habit that Carlos and James had learned early on. "Look, if I help the kitchen will get clean faster. Then we can eat faster. I don't know about you, but I am starving!" Carlos exclaimed dramatically.

When James headed up the stairs with Logan, Logan peeked over James' once more to get a last look at Carlos and Camille. He gave a short wave again, smiling when Carlos waved back.

Carlos grinned to himself and shared a look with Camille. _They were going to like Logan, a lot. _

X.X.X.X

James carried Logan all the way into the upstairs bathroom, in his and Kendall's bedroom. He suddenly realized how gross he actually felt, from being sticky. The icing and syrup was beginning to harder all over him, causing great discomfort. He grimaced and looked at Logan who was peeling a chocolate chip off his chin, before tossing it in his mouth.

"Ready to clean all that off?" James chuckled and knelt in front of the tub. He turned the faucets until the water was a perfect temperature and plugged the tub. From the corner of his eye, James could see Logan shifting away from the tub. Logan had of course bathed or showered being with James for over two weeks, but every time Logan gave the same emotion.

Every time, Logan was very, _very_ reluctant to get in the bath tub with water and very scared. He wasn't hesitant or momentarily frightened, as he was with other things that scared him. No, Logan was truly afraid of the tub. And now James could understand why.

It brought tears to his eyes to figure, that Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell had done something _awful_ to Logan in a bathtub. He didn't know what they did, nor did he want to ever find out, but he did want to help Logan overcome his fear.

Carefully James asked his next question. He _always_ asked Logan to do something; he never commanded it. "Logan, can I undress you now, so you can get in the tub and get all cleaned?" James asked. He saw the terror in Logan's little brown eyes. Now, after reading his file, he understood why Logan was so afraid of this.

James waited patiently, never rushing in a situation like this, and turned off the water while Logan thought. When James turned back to Logan, the small five-year-old gave a nod to James' question. James smiled at Logan and moved in front of them. Suddenly an idea came to mind.

James took each of Logan's tiny fingers into his own hands and brushed his fingers over Logan's as light as a feather. A soft giggle came from Logan when James brushed over his fingers. This caused James to smile.

"What are these Logan?" He asked.

"My fingers." Logan whispered with a soft grin. James nodded with praise and continued with distracting Logan. Next, he moved to Logan's feet and took off the green and red socks. His fingers ghosted over each pink toe, causing Logan to giggle again. _It tickled._

"How about these, Logan. What are they?" James asked again. Logan giggled once more but answered.

"My toes!" Logan answered correctly. James chuckled and praised the boy. He nodded before moving towards Logan's face. With a soft smile, his fingers hovered over Logan's nose before gently pushing down on it. Logan's squealed and scrunched his little nose in laughter.

"Then, what's this?" James asked when Logan squealed once more.

"My nose!"

"Yes, your little button nose." James laughed with the boy, poking his nose once more. Another squeal erupted from Logan as he wiggled his nose. James continued to smile, moving his hands to the stained shirt Logan wore. Gently, James lifted the shirt over Logan's head, revealing his small and pale chest and stomach. With a grin, James moved his pointer finger to Logan's stomach before running his fingers up and down the stomach.

Logan giggled a few times before erupting into loud laughter. James laughed with the boy and pointed to his stomach with one finger. "And this. What's this?"

Logan giggled again by the tickling fingers on his stomach before answering. "My tummy!" He squealed and squirmed from James' ticklish fingers. James smiled with a nod.

"Yes, your little round tummy!" James laughed as he continued to tickle Logan's sensitive stomach. The young boy laughed harder and squealed in James' grasp. The smile lingered on James when his goal had been achieved. He had successfully distracted Logan.

And Logan was _happy_ again.

Carlos had finally finished helping Kendall in the kitchen, and thankfully Reginald had returned to the house to clean the remainder of the mess in the kitchen. Kendall had headed to shower downstairs, while Camille took the time to talk to Reginald while everyone cleaned up. As Carlos walked down the hall of the upstairs, he could hear voices coming from inside a bedroom. Due to his natural curiosity, Carlos headed into the room to investigate. The sight he saw brought a whole hearted smile to his face.

From where he stood, Carlos could see Logan inside a bubble bath with James kneeling before the tub. Neither could see Carlos, but Carlos had a perfect view. Which meant, he was able to catch the wide grins on both males and the laughter that etched from James and Logan. In silence, Carlos felt his heart fluttering for the sight.

James and Logan were the picture perfect sight of a father and son.

_If only…_

X.X.X.X

_Olive Garden- 6:30 p.m._

The group had finally left the house, leaving Reginald to finish cleaning the kitchen. Kendall had apologized countless times to the elder butler, but Reginald simply brushed him off with a gentle smile, saying he was just glad the masters and young Logan had fun.

There was no denying that fact.

Everyone hadn't bothered to dress up much really, considering Carlos and Camille hadn't. They'd all put on their regular clothes and headed off the Olive Garden. Logan was curious and excited to see where they were going and a bit nervous. He was also nervous because James wanted Logan to keep Benny home, so he wouldn't lose him.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, their night began hectic, as they had imagined. Kendall and Carlos, – two of the _best_ players on the LA Kings – James, – one of the most famous _rising _singers yet – and Camille – an aspiring movie actress – had all been caught by fans. Crowds emerged upon seeing the four famous beings all in one place at _their_ restaurant. It also didn't help that Logan was still a mystery, and now someone people were finally seeing the little boy.

So crowds were practically unavoidable. Which worried Kendall and James greatly. Logan never fared well in crowds, and he didn't look to be doing so great with the crowds at the restaurant. Luckily Carlos got to the front desk and managed a secluded table in a room of its own. Much to James, Kendall's _and_ Logan's relief.

Kendall and James sat on one side of the table, with Logan seated right in between them. Carlos and Camille sat across the trio with soft smiles. Once their food was ordered, Carlos set out to begin getting the boy to open up to him.

"So, you're the famous Logan Kendall always talks about?" Carlos asked, leaning towards his friends. Logan hid shyly behind his hands, peeking out with one eye and a tiny smile on his lips. He nodded once at Carlos. "Well you are much cuter in person." Carlos winked, and Logan blushed.

"Well, I'm Carlos Garcia. I play on the hockey team with Kendall and –" Carlos was interrupted when Logan nodded quickly with eagerness, causing James and Kendall to chuckle. He raised an eyebrow.

"He knows who you are 'Los. Logan's a big fan of the LA Kings, remember? Once we explained he remembered who you were." James winked with a smirk. Carlos laughed and clapped.

"Excellent. So I'm pretty famous for you, huh?" Carlos grinned slyly at the still shy Logan. The tiny smile remained on Logan's lips as he nodded. "Now, I know this much be a huge deal, to you know be sitting with your _idol_, but just remember to keep calm alright?" James and Kendall both snorted into their drinks, and even Logan coughed in disbelief, but Carlos continued to grin.

"Right, _you're_ his idol." James scoffed.

"Anyway," Carlos drawled on. "This is my beautiful girlfriend Camille Roberts. She's an actress." Carlos introduced as Camille waved. Logan blushed at the woman and waved back. A smile whipped across Camille's face.

"Hello you cutie pie. You have the cutest smile I have ever seen!" She gushed happily. Logan's face turned a deeper shade of red, when he received the compliment and he hid into Kendall's arm. Carlos laughed.

"Hey now, she's mine you player." Carlos joked. "So Logan," Logan removed his face from Kendall's arm to peek out at Carlos curiously. "You have an entire kiddie menu in front of you and you still haven't colored in the horse!?" Carlos pretended to gasp in horror. The crooked smile on Logan's lips twitched wider. "Come now, you have to color him. And let me color the cowboy. Come on!" Carlos encouraged and grabbed a yellow crayon from Logan's package.

Carlos had begun to color the cowboy, happy to be feeling like a kid again while Logan watched. With a gentle nudge from James, he grabbed a black crayon and slowly began to color in the horse. "I bet you, I'm a faster colorer!" Carlos said. Logan looked up and smiled again at the challenge before coloring the horse at a quicker pace. "Hey! You got a head start, cheater!"

It wasn't long before Logan was comfortable with Carlos and even Camille. Before the meal had even arrived, Logan had beaten Carlos as being the fastest (and _neatest_) colorer. They'd also managed three games of tic-tac-toe (Logan won twice) and together, they solved the maze of getting the horse to the cowboy. Carlos had Logan smiling and eventually talking to him, with his childish personality and winning smile.

By the end of the meal, Carlos had pulled Logan into who his favorite superhero was, and was in a heated debate about whether Superman or Batman was the best hero. James and Kendall watched the interaction with smiles of their own.

Carlos would be a good addition, to Logan's life.

* * *

_December 21, 2011- 5:00 p.m._

To say Logan was excited was very much an understatement. He was absolutely ecstatic and slightly nervous about going to his very _first_ hockey game. And best of all, it was a playoff game for the LA Kings; his favorite team.

The trio had arrived at the stadium an hour and a half before the game, so Kendall could practice and set up early with the team. James and Logan walked Kendall all the way down to the outside of the locker room (thanks to some handy V.I.P passes), before Kendall gave his goodbyes.

James and Logan were left with ninety minutes to do whatever they pleased. Since it was so early, the stadium rink did not have huge crowds just yet, which was perfect for the nervous Logan with his Benny. James decided to get anything they needed now, so they could be seated by the time the crowds came.

He spent just over half an hour giving Logan a tour of the stadium, and Logan was in awe of his surroundings the entire time. The excitement and nerves were slowly building in Logan as he anticipated the beginning of the game.

James had decided to get Logan some souvenirs to remember this night even more. He'd also remembered to bring the camera, for memories. When he found the gift shop, he gently led Logan into the slightly empty shop, to show Logan all kinds of wonderful gifts.

"So Logan, what do you wanna get?" James asked upon entering the shop. Logan, who was already in awe, looked at James with absolute shock. He stared up at his foster father in surprise, and pointed to himself. James laughed and nodded. "Yes you. Anything you want. It's alright, go pick something. Or a few things." James shrugged and guided Logan across the store.

Logan's eyes scanned across the shop, taking in every item with awe and admiration. He couldn't decide on one thing he wanted. He didn't even know where to _begin_! James sensed Logan's problem and smiled.

"How about a hat? Or a flag?" James suggested, picking up a green hat with the LA Kings logo on it, and a similar small flag. Logan blinked and bit his lip. They were _both_ cool; he couldn't decide on one. James chuckled and kept both in his hand. "Alright we'll get both of them." Logan thought his eyes couldn't get any wider after this. _He's getting both of them? For me?_

"How about a jersey? Wouldn't that be cool?" James suggested as they passed an entire wall of green jerseys. James was sporting his own jersey that fit snug against his toned and fit body. It was a green jersey with the number 13 on the back and the name KNIGHT. Of course, Kendall had picked it out for him, but James wasn't complaining.

Logan's face brightened at seeing all the jersey and James in his own. He nodded eagerly and went to search through the jerseys. James chuckled but began looking for Logan's size.

"How about this one?" James asked, pulling a shirt up to his chest and posing like a model. Logan giggled at James but shook his head. With a chuckle, James put the jersey back. He looked over to see Logan looking at him with a jersey over his chest, and he stuck his hip out in his own pose. James nearly doubled over in laughter at the sight.

"No. It's too big." He managed between chuckles. Logan giggled but put the jersey back. For the next half hour, the two spent posing in ridiculous poses at one another with every jersey they could find and cracking up every five minutes. After receiving a look from the cashier, Logan finally found a jersey.

"This one." The tone in his small voice was pleading and wanting. And James was happily to comply. He groaned when he read the name and number and shook his head.

"I swear Kendall's ego is going to go through the roof now." He murmured and looked through the number 13 jerseys with KNIGHT on the back. The jersey Logan had picked was much too large on the child. Luckily, James managed to find the last XS jersey. Once Logan put it on, James noticed it was still a bit too big, but the happiness on his face made the jersey worth it for James. His heart lurched at the expression on Logan's face when he put on that jersey. Immediately he bought all three souvenirs. "Don't you look cute."

As they were about to leave the store, James placed the ball cap, tightly on Logan's head and handed Logan his flag. Logan immediately tied the stick of the flag with a string to Benny's paw and he smiled at James. Slowly, his smile fell and James looked out the doors to see what Logan was looking at.

What he saw was the stadium was finally filling up and crowds of people were in their way. The stadium was even more crowded than it normally was, with this game being a playoff game for the Stanley Cup. It had been a sold out game, so that many a lot of people were there.

More people than Logan and James liked.

Logan instinctively pressed closer into James' leg, clutching onto his pants tightly with one hand. He gently tugged on James' jersey and looked up. James didn't both to look down at Logan, he knew immediately what Logan wanted. James scooped Logan up and into his arms, rubbing his back as Logan buried himself into James' shoulder behind Benny.

James tried to take the quickest route possible to their seats, making sure he walked on the edge of halls and walkways, _away_ from all the crowds. Still there were just too many people, and James had to push his way out of clumped crowds. Occasionally James would whisper sweet words of comfort to the scared Logan, trying to calm the boy down.

He had finally made it to the second level where all the box seats were. This area was a bit less crowded than down stairs, luckily. James found the correct door he was looking for with a smile. James opened the door with a swipe of a card from his pocket, to reveal _his_ V.I.P box seating.

James shut the door behind them, as the outside noise quieted some and Logan looked up to see where they were. His eyes widened.

They were inside a V.I.P box, with TV's of the game, a mini kitchen, with an oven and a fridge. There was also a small counter with three bar stools behind two rows of four seats. But the view was the best part. From their box, Logan could see the entire ice rink and every part of the game and scoreboards. It wasn't too close to the ice and it wasn't too high, it was right smack in the middle with a perfect view.

Logan breathed a sigh of wonder as he looked around, leaving James to smile. He gently set Logan onto his own two feet, so the little boy could walk around some to look. Logan continued to look around in awe when James heard a knock on the door. He went to the door and answered it, only to find Camille outside the door.

"Hey Camille." James greeted his friend with a warm smile. The curly haired woman smiled and gave James a hug. "So you're here to see Carlos play, huh?"

"Of course! Like I would ever miss my baby's first playoff game this year." Camille said with a smirk. She glanced over James' shoulder to see the small little boy from tow nights ago, looking very shy towards her. "Hello again to you Logan." She smiled brightly. "Are you having fun with James at the game so far?" Logan nodded into Benny's head, with a slight blush. "Oh my you just get cuter and cuter everyday, don't you?"

James laughed as Logan's face turned a darker shade of pink. Camille waved once and turned back to James.

"Well, I'm here with some friends. So I gotta get back. You two have fun okay?" She said and James nodded. The two shared a goodbye and as Camille left, James shut the door. James could see Logan's body slowly relaxing when it was finally jus the two of them again.

James headed towards the fridge and food before looking to Logan, who had wondered next to James to see all the foods. Much to his surprise, there was a lot of food. A lot more than he expected. Popcorn, pretzels, candy, hotdogs, water, soda and beer.

Logan took a hotdog and a soda and with James' help the two sat in the front row of seats for their box. Both were happily munching on their own, warm hotdogs, as the start at the game begin.

As the announcer announced the visiting team, the Detroit Redwings, many boo's rang loudly across the room, causing Logan to giggle. Once the LA Kings were announced, the entire stadium erupted in cheers and clapping, including James and Logan. The announcer called the names of every player on the LA Kings next.

When Kendall's name was called, Logan and James cheered as loud as they could, standing up and clapping. On the ice Kendall skated smoothly across the rink, waving and smiling to the crowd. He skidded to a sharp and easy stop to scan the crowd. Once his eyes landed on James holding Logan, in their box, Kendall beamed and waved. Logan giggled and happily waved back to Kendall when he finally found them.

And with that, the whistle was blown, for the game to start.

X.X.X.X

There was less than five minutes left in the game. Everyone was cheering and yelling, on the edges of their seat in excitement and anticipation. The score was a dead tie, of 2-2. Kendall and Dak had each scored one, and Carlos had been a tremendous goalie, saving many that should have gone in. The atmosphere was tense, and the players on the ice were rough. This was it. Someone had to score and win, to move onto the next game, and someone had to lose.

Logan had never had so much fun and excitement in his life. The entire game was a dream to him as he watched with Logan. He had cheered and laughed, waving his flag and Benny up high. At intermissions between periods James had gotten Logan to dance with him to the loud music. All in all, it was a night he would never forget.

He was currently seated on James' shoulder waving his flag for the LA Kings to gain victory. James was yelling in anticipation.

Every player was working as hard as they could, willing to not make any mistake bow. Because a mistake could cost you the game.

Logan watched as one of the LA Kings took the puck and headed up the ice. He watched as Kendall suddenly back tracked and moved farther away from the puck. Logan bit his lip, leaning as far forward as possible with adrenaline pumping through his veins. He cheered loudly when Kendall got the puck. Kendall zig-zagged through a line of defenses on the other team, moving so fast Logan could hardly keep up. Logan watched as Kendall swung back his stick, smashing it right into the puck. The puck soared through the air for a moment, just as it slipped past the goalie and into the net. The stadium filled with a roar of victory as the buzzer went off, announcing the victory of the La Kings. In 3-2.

The stadium was on their feet, cheering and roaring with pride for their home team. James jumped up with Logan still on his shoulder, cheering widely with a dance. Logan laughed in joy, waving Benny around with James, dancing as much as he could on James' shoulders. The two hugged each other and jumped with joy.

When James managed to calm down, he set the wiggling Logan on the ground, allowing Logan more room to dance and cheer, and he looked to see the players heading to the lockers. The announcer went on to explain some prizes and awards for fans in the stadium but James ignored them. Now was his best chance to get Logan down to the locker room.

"Are you ready to meet the team Logan?" James grinned. Logan paused in dancing to look at James with shining and excited eyes, with a hint of nervousness and fear. He swallowed and took a deep breath before nodding. James smiled again and opened his arms. Logan jumped into James' arms, gladly wanting to be held again.

James left the V.I.P box and began his descend down two floors. Luckily, James was just heading down to the very bottom floor when the crowds were beginning to pile out of their seat. No one without a pass was allowed down, to where James was headed.

James and Logan could hear the yells of victory from the team, before they had even headed down the hallway to the locker room. James smiled and pulled Logan tighter, as the boy's breathing became quicker.

Logan licked his lips, clutching onto Benny tightly, while his heart hammered inside his chest. _He was going to meet them. He was really going to meet the strangers that made up the LA Kings._ He swallowed thickly just as James pushed open a door.

Instantly, a cloud of mist of steam blinded their view of the room, before James pushed through the room. And Logan's heart nearly stopped. Every player on the team was getting stressed or showering all across the locker room. Logan wasn't able to see into the shower part, luckily, and could only see those changing their shirts.

James spotted the back of Kendall's head, as his fiancé was bending over a bench, and into his duffle bag. With a hard smile and mischievous eyes, James headed towards Kendall with Logan. The blonde hadn't even noticed or heard James coming, giving James the perfect opportunity. He smiled at a giggling Logan, before lifting the five-year-old up and setting Logan on the bench. Logan stifled a giggle and tapped Kendall's shoulder.

The blonde barely glanced at Logan, before he jumped up in shock and did a double-take. Sure enough, Logan was still there smiling crookedly. Kendall laughed and turned to find James smirking. He pulled Logan into his arms, planting a sloppy kiss on Logan's cheeks, causing the child to giggle hysterically. Kendall laughed and leaned over to kiss his fiancé happily.

"You were great tonight." James smiled against Kendall's lip. "Scoring that winning goal. You had Logan and I jumping and dancing by the end." Kendall snorted and laughed when he pulled away from James. He grinned at the smiling Logan who was hugging his neck, and praising him widely. Kendall caught sight of the back of Logan's shirt and snickered.

"Couldn't get enough of me huh? You just _had_ to buy my shirt. I know I'm awesome, aren't I?" He grinned when Logan laughed. Logan held his bear, up to his face in attempt to hide his giggles. James rolled his eyes instead.

"Told you his ego would swell." James muttered with a shake of his head.

By then, the two adults had finally noticed how quiet the locker room was. James looked over Logan and Kendall, to see that all eyes were on them now. And Logan.

Logan had realized the attention they were getting and immediately shrunk back into Kendall's shoulder. He buried his face into Benny and waited. Kendall raised an eyebrow to his teammates before finally nodding them over to his family.

Carlos was the first to greet his friends, racing over to Kendall and James. He hugged James before turning to the shy Logan.

"Hey there Logan, how are you doing?" Upon hearing the familiar voice, Logan looked up and over at Carlos. He smiled at seeing his friend and waved.

"Hi Carlos!" He greeted cheerfully. "You were awesome too tonight!" He cried and bounced in Kendall's arms. The shorter male of the adults beamed.

"Really? So you enjoyed the game I take it. Did you have fun?" Carlos asked with a laugh. Logan nodded happily, unaware of the crowd forming around them.

"Yeah! James bought me this shirt and this hat! He also bought me a flag too, but Benny has it." Logan explained waving his bear's paw with the flag. "And then we got to sit in this big room, with tons of food! I got to eat a whole hotdog! And then the game started, and it was so exciting and fast! And score after score until you guys won with Kenny's last goal! Then James and I were cheering and dancing!" Logan cried without taking a breath. Carlos, James and Kendall laughed at the boy, while the team smiled.

"He sure sounds like he had a great time." Dak chuckled. Logan almost jumped in Kendall's arms at the voice, and he suddenly realized they weren't alone. The shy personality was creeping out again, as Logan shrunk back into Kendall's arms.

Kendall smiled and turned around with Logan. "Guys, this is Logan. Logan these are my teammates. The LA Kings." Kendall introduced. The team all smiled and waved at Logan, who was looking at each and every player, already beginning to recognize who they were and what position they played. Slowly, Logan waved back.

"Hi." He squeaked quietly. "You guys are awesome."

* * *

**And chapter finished. Daw, cuteness is amazing to write and so easy when it comes to little Logiebear ;). I apologize if V.I.P boxes are like that, I've only been in one, when I was really little so I don't know much about them. But it doesn't really matter, does it?**

**So next up is Christmas Eve and Christmas! Yayayayayay! Who's excited for that chapter finally?! I am actually ;), even though Christmas was like almost a week ago really. Haha.**

**Anyhow, thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Anything you wish to say just leave a review please! I always love to read them and reply. You're all just so amazing! :0 So leave a review!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	11. Surprises

**Heyo, I'm back! And now it is time for Logan's first Christmas Eve and Christmas! Yay for holiday fluff! Also, I'm aware this story is sadly drawing to an end. There will be 15 total chapters. So there is only four more after this *sobs* But I did say it wasn't going to be long, and originally I was only going for like 10 chapters. Lol, I exceeded that, but I have anything planned out for 15 total chapters. Then it's over. ;(. But there will be fluff, and a couple more major plot points and then the end. Look out!**

**Also I am hoping to finally get a beta after this chapter by the lovely and wonder full miss 'swapUPwindowsDOWN'. She's so wonder full! ;D**

**My replies to those who have not logged in:**

**Scarlett: New chapter! I am so happy you have enjoyed the last chapter and this story so much so far! It brings me much happiness! You are very welcome and thank YOU! ;). At last Christmas day has come. I hope you enjoy it! And again haha thank you. Isn't Logie so cute?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Surprises**

_December 22, 2011- 4:15 p.m._

James and Kendall were just finishing making the dinner when Logan had trotted into the kitchen happily. He grinned at the meal, and took his seat on a stool. James paused for a moment to look at the child. Logan looked almost unrecognizable for a minute. He wasn't the same quiet boy he had been when James had first met him. Of course, he was still frightened of many things and many people, because it would take more than a few weeks to get Logan past his abuse. That was certain.

But yet, Logan had changed. He had opened up to James and Kendall and provided happiness not only for them but also for himself. He spoke more now than he ever had before. Logan didn't have that sad look in his eyes anymore, instead curiosity and eagerness was shown. It brought warmth to James' chest and a smile on his face. He knew now why Logan was so special.

He was falling in love with Logan, as if he was his son.

James knew he shouldn't have grown so attached; after all, they were only fostering Logan. He would eventually leave. But James couldn't help it. The damage was done.

Kendall handed Logan his anxiety pill, with a smile and glass of water. He gently asked the boy if he would please take it, and Logan took his pill without a complaint.

"Hey, Christmas is in three days," James said suddenly when he glimpsed at the calendar. He sat down with their dinner as Logan began to dig in. "Which means Santa Claus is coming soon." James hid a smile when he saw Logan's face immediately brighten on the holiday legend. Logan looked up with a grin that would put the sun to shame at the name.

"Santa?"

"Oh yes, Santa is watching." Kendall chimed in. "Which means he's watching for if you've been a good boy and what you want for Christmas." He said, watching as Logan's face scrunched up in confusion and thought.

"What do you want for Christmas?" James asked, getting a knowing look from his fiancé. Christmas was literally just around the corner and they had yet to get any gifts yet. Time was running out for the two.

"I already sent Santa my letter." Logan said with a shrug. James smiled with a dry swallow, remembering exactly what Logan had written in that letter. He shrugged the thought off.

"Oh yes. Did you ask for any toys that you want?" James feigned innocence. Again Logan looked at James with confusion.

"Um…no. I've never asked for toys." Logan said quietly. Kendall and James could feel their hearts constricting at Logan's words. "I've never really put much thought into what I've wanted like that." Logan murmured.

"Well, are there any toys you like? Or maybe games? Or even some books?" Kendall suggested, trying to help Logan come up with something. Logan blinked and thought to himself. He shrugged at Kendall.

"I don't know. I haven't looked. I love books and games to play." He said and that was the end of it. He couldn't come up with a better answer and he went back to his dinner. James and Kendall shared one more look and they were already on the same page.

They knew what to get.

* * *

_December 24, 2011- 12:45 a.m._

Snow. Actual snow. As in, cold, white and fluffy snow. That was what Kendall, James and Logan had woken up on the Eve of Christmas. In normally sunny Los Angeles, clouds headed above with gentle snowflakes falling in a flurry down to the ground. It looked as if it had been snowing all night, with at least three inches of snow covering the ground in a white blanket. The snow was slowing down, but it was still falling as they looked outside.

James and Kendall had breathed in surprise at the snow. They hadn't had snow in almost four years in Los Angeles. Kendall had grown up on the ice and around snow, and even James had grown up with white Christmas's and cold. So the surprise of this snow fall on Christmas Eve seemed just shy of a miracle.

As for Logan, it brought pure joy to the little brunette. Having lived in Minnesota for five years, Logan was used to the snow and cold being often. When he was very young he had found snow to be magical, but as the years went by the snow seemed less and less magical. That is, until today with this snowfall.

He jumped up and down excitedly and asked if they could play outside. James had decided to wait and see if the snow would stop falling before they went out to play. The three had decided to bake Christmas cookies for Santa Claus and tomorrow, while they waited for the snow to stop falling.

"Okay, now this time we are _not_ going to make a mess, right?" James asked hotly, at Logan and Kendall who both shared a look of sheepish smiles. James had been hesitant at first, in fear that his hair and clothes would once again be ruined by the mess of baking. But finally Kendall had convinced James to do it, by promising there would be no more sweet wars. Logan had giggled upon seeing James' wary face as Kendall tried to convince him in the beginning.

With a grin, James set off to gather supplies while Kendall began to show Logan what to do. Sadly, a mess was not avoided. It was impossible for these three to _not_ make a mess. James was pleased, though, that it was not a large mess at all. It was simply a small one that happened to anyone who baked cookies. And better yet, it didn't get in James' hair or clothes.

James had to scold Kendall and Logan on multiple accounts for stealing raw cookie dough from the mixing bowl, as if he were their mother. He'd actually slapped a wooden spoon down onto Kendall's fingers when the male reached for more cookie dough. A _wooden_ spoon.

When the cookies had finally been made and taken out of the oven to cool, the three had two dozen holiday cookies, which smelled heavenly and filled the house with a Christmas aroma. James had looked out the back window to see the snow had stopped falling while they were been baking, and now fresh snow was waiting on the ground, just begging to be played in.

Logan had become giddier at that news.

"How about we go sledding, down at the park? There's that really big hill?" James suggested. He looked out side to see a good six inches of hard snow. Perfect for sledding on. Kendall looked joyful and excited at the idea of sledding, while Logan looked curious.

He had never been sledding before, but back at the orphanage he had heard other kids talk about going sledding when the soft snow had come down. He'd be interested in trying it, since the beginning of the snow season in Minnesota back in early October.

"Yeah, that sounds awesome!" Kendall exclaimed happily while Logan nodded curiously. A tiny smile graced his pink lips and James grinned. He clapped his hands and ordered everyone to dress warmly for the weather outside. Luckily, James and Kendall never got rid of their old winter jackets, and that Logan had his coat from Minnesota.

James was wearing his warm jacket, with gloves and his favorite grey scarf, while Kendall had his jacket on and his usual black beanie on top of his head with fingerless gloves on. James had helped Logan into his own coat, while Kendall placed a scarf around his neck. Logan had been given mittens for his hand, and a smaller blue beanie to put on his own head. James had fussed for a few moments, making sure Logan was completely warm. Logan hadn't made a single complaint about James' fuss, being patient and secretly enjoying the attention.

"Come on James. It's going to be dark, by the time you finish and Logan's not going to be able to move if you put anything else on him." Kendall rolled his eyes causing Logan to giggle. James huffed in annoyance but finally stood up.

"I'm just making sure he's warm." He muttered, grabbing his keys. Kendall snickered but took Logan's hand and headed for the garage. While James began to warm the car, Kendall pulled the two old wooden sleds he had kept on a high rack on the ceiling. He opened the back to place the sleds in the car, just as Logan was buckling himself in.

With more excitement than ever before, Kendall jumped into the passenger seat and eagerly waited to arrive. James couldn't tell who was more excited: Logan or Kendall. It took less than five minutes to drive to the snow covered park and hill, and James noticed they were the only ones at the park.

_Perfect._

The two adults were out of the car first, and each grabbed a sled while Logan waited by his door. He grabbed both Kendall and James' free hands, and allowed him to be guided towards the hill. His heart was beating fast in anticipation and he squeezed James and Kendall's hands tighter. The two looked down in comfort and squeezed back. Finally they were at the top of the hill.

"So, are you ready?" Kendall grinned childishly down at Logan. Logan smiled weakly and swallowed.

"Um…what do we do? I've never been sledding before." He whispered. Kendall ignored the ache in his heart and knelt down with his sled.

"Here I'll show you. It's really fun actually." He said gently. Logan followed Kendall, still holding tightly to James' hand, as Kendall placed the sled down and sat himself onto it. His feet were rested along the two red bars in the front, and the rope was held tightly into his hands. "So these red bars here, are for your feet. That way your feet won't drag in the snow and slow you down. They can also help you to steer the sled. Now this rope – it's very important you see. It's like the steering wheel of a car got it?" At Logan's nod, Kendall went on. "You use it to steer and guide you. You tug and pull on the rope, while pressing on the bar with one foot on what direction you want to go. Like if you want to go right, you tug on the rope and push more down with your right foot. And vice versa for if you want to go left."

Logan nodded seeming to understand the idea. It seemed simple.

"Alright now, show him how it's done." James grinned mischievously before pushing on Kendall's back with his foot. The sled was pushed forward quickly, and was descending down the hill. Kendall scrambled to grab the rope and steering, just as the sled picked up speed and was soaring down the hill.

Logan watched in amazement with wide eyes, as Kendall raced down the snowy hill, laughing and yelling into the wind. When the male and sled finally stopped at the very bottom of the hill James laughed.

"Alright, now you try Logan." James said softly. "Just do exactly what Kendall said and did, and you'll be good." He encouraged lightly, nudging Logan to the other sled. Logan bit his lip in hesitation, and glanced over at the open sled then back to Kendall. He twiddled with his fingers before looking up at James innocently.

"Will you ride _with _me? I don't wanna go by myself." Logan's face flushed as he asked James quietly. He stood in his spot, not moving when James smiled. James gently tugged on Logan's hand and led him over to the sled.

"Of course I will go with you." He said with a smile. He looked down at the sled. Logan was small, so he should be able to fit with someone with his own height. James set himself onto the sled, pushing his feet up and wider and grabbed the rope. He patted the empty space between his legs in front of him.

Logan didn't need to be told twice. He scrambled onto the sled with a bright grin, nestling himself in front of James. His little feet perfectly just in between James' own. James handed the end of the rope to Logan, but still held onto the sides.

"Alright, you steer us. And I'll get us going, okay?" James asked. Logan swallowed thickly and nodded nervously at James. He was nervous about his first time doing something like this, but yet he couldn't help being excited at the same time. "Are you ready?" Logan blinked and took a breath to calm his nerves, and then slowly he nodded.

At first, nothing happened. Logan could feel they were moving, but it was at an extremely slow pace. Nothing like Kendall. _Maybe it wouldn't be so bad_.

Then, Logan was proved to be wrong.

In the nest split second, the sled had dropped and the speed picked up dramatically. Logan watched as they were suddenly and very quickly heading down the hill. The wind whipped in his face, biting at his rosy cheeks as their speed continued to increase.

He squealed in surprise and jerked into James when the speed had suddenly increased. But his nerves had calmed, when he heard James laughing and hollering over the wind. Logan could feel his own smile and laugh build as they continued to race down the hill. He felt as if he were soaring with greet speed, across the snowy lands.

He didn't see the rock in front of them.

The sled suddenly hit the rock, and control was beginning to get lost. Logan panicked when the sled jerked and they were turning. He could hear James' laughter cease and panic flooded through his body. The sled was still bolting down at great speeds but Logan couldn't figure how to turn. His heart and mind raced and his eyes widened in panic.

_He couldn't turn! He couldn't turn!_

In the midst of panic, Logan could feel James trying to gain control of the sled and moving his feet but it was too late. Suddenly, the sled tipped over and dumped Logan and James into the chilly snow. Logan could feel himself being thrown off the sled and launched into the snow. He felt James being thrown, before he could no longer hear or feel James and he landed face first into the snow.

X.X.X.X

Logan blinked when his vision was black, and for a split second he wanted to scream. That's when he suddenly felt the icy cold. He pushed forward with his hands, to feel them sink into snow, and he raised his head up.

His vision became lighter and he could finally see around him, now that he wasn't face down into the snow. Packs of snow stuck to his cheeks, nose and forehead as he blinked to look around. He was covered in snow, but luckily he had not gotten deep into the hard snow. Actually, the snow had cushioned his landing. He tried shaking his head to be rid of as much snow as he could.

His mind was momentarily dazed and confused as he looked across the white landscape. He could see the tipped sled lying to his right in the snow. He could see the back of James' jacket, noticing the adult was frantically looking.

And suddenly Logan felt tingly on the inside. His fingers twitch, and his heart beat with warmth when a laugh bubbled into his throat. Then, he was laughing to himself. The adrenaline and excitement had kicked him and he continued to laugh.

That had been _fun_. He had, had _fun._

James spun around quickly, panic etching in his face when he confused Logan's laughter for sobs. He raced to the little boy, kneeling in the snow to finally see his face. Kendall had reached them finally and was doing the same.

But Logan continued to laugh.

"Logan I am so sorry! Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" James asked frantically, searching for any signs of injury. Much to their surprise, Logan graced them with a wide smile and bubbling laughter.

"T-that was…that was _fun_!" Logan cried and waved his hands into the air. James and Kendall breathed a sigh of relief before joining in with Logan.

Logan had been much less hesitant in going down the next few times on the sled. Of course, he always went down with either Kendall or James. Whoever wasn't on the sled with Logan was attempting to race the other two on the second sled. It seemed every time, Kendall was the fastest. Whether he was alone or with Logan. James had claimed his was a cheater on multiple accounts, to which Kendall shamelessly denied.

At one point Logan, Kendall and James had tried to go down on _one_ sled_ together_. The three of them had made it ten feet down the hill before the sled completely flipped over from uneven weight, dumping the three in the snow. But this time Logan was prepared, and caused himself to fall on his back. But he continued to laugh and laugh with Kendall and James.

After this, Kendall coaxed Logan in trying to go down on the sled by himself. Logan had been terrified at first, and it took many words of comfort and encouragement, but finally Logan agreed. He'd gotten on the sled all by himself and Kendall had gotten in the other. He promised Logan he would ride, right next to him. Then the two were off, down the hill. Logan had been clutching the rope tightly, to the point of his knuckles turning white. But his sled remained straight all the way down the hill, and there was no need to use the rope thankfully.

Logan had actually beaten Kendall down the hill, which had finally stopped all his nerves. Kendall demanded a rematch and Logan happily complied. Once again, Kendall was _beaten_ by Logan.

After the second run, Kendall announced he had to leave. He claimed the coach had called and requested him to meet with him. Logan looked disappointed but Kendall told the little boy, to continue and ride with James. James smiled knowingly and nodded to his fiancé as Kendall headed into the car.

Kendall had lied. What he was really doing, was heading home to wrap all of their presents, and Logan's presents for tomorrow.

For the next two hours, James and Logan raced one another down the hill or rode together trying to swerve and zigzag down the hill. After both were exhausted, they continued to make snow angels in the ground and built a miniature snowman. Logan had named the snowman, "Frosty" and attempted to give him his hat. Luckily, James said Frosty would want Logan to keep his hat so he could stay warm.

It was after all that, did the snowball fight actually begin. Logan had seen many of the other kids at the orphanage engage in snowball fights before, and knew what to do. James did have to help him make snowballs and show him how to build them, but when Logan finally had enough he fired on James.

James ran to his own fort of snow and quickly made his own balls, while avoiding Logan's surprisingly good aim. The two of them engaged in a war, firing and running and building for an entire hour before Logan yawn and fall back exhausted.

He was tired, beyond tired really, but he wouldn't have traded today for anything else. His heart was content and a smile was warming his face when James picked him up. Today had truly been one of the best days of his life.

When James and Logan returned home by walking home for ten minutes, Kendall had wrapped and hidden every single presents and had prepared a wondrous meal with Reginald. A meal of smoke salmon, and mashed potatoes with grilled and buttered shrimp. There were also steamed vegetables, and rice with gravy and butter. It was the biggest meal Logan had ever eaten.

By the time dinner was over, Logan was ready to pass out in a sleep coma, and was barely able to keep on his feet. He had already taken his inhaler (twice, because of playing in the snow and being active) and his anxiety medicine. He kept nodding off tiredly, yawning and shaking his head and an attempt to stay awake. He _had_ to make sure, enough cookies and milk were being left for Santa.

Logan had also placed a green envelope by the cookies and milk, telling James and Kendall it was for Santa. And _only_ for Santa.

James and Kendall smiled at the sleepy brunette, before Kendall pulled Logan into his arms. Logan yawned tiredly and snuggled contently into Kendall's warm chest. His eyes fluttered closed as sleep pulled him down and unconsciousness took him.

* * *

_December 25, 2011- 7:00 a.m._

When Logan first woke up he had fallen back asleep, unaware of the date. It had taken him three more times to wake up, before he realized what today was. It was Christmas Day! _Christmas had finally come_.

He noticed how early it was and listened to find he was the first one up. He swallowed nervously about what today may look like, but his heart was hammering with excitement. The excitement jittered his bones and tingled his body, as he tried to lie in bed patiently. _It would be rude to wake Kenny and Jamie._

But the excitement of the day, and being only a child, had overcome his politeness and nerves. His childish excitement had filled his body and he was suddenly flinging the covers off him and scrambling out of bed. His pajama covered feet padded against the floor as he ran out of his room to open James and Kendall's door. He reached up, standing on his tip, tippy-toes to turn the knob of the door. Logan concentrated on reaching, sticking his little pink tongue out.

_Aha!_

When the knob finally turned, and the door open, Logan pushed himself excitedly into the room. There still in bed, was a sleeping James and a sleeping Kendall. They were snuggled up against each other, arms wrapped loosely around each other, oblivious to Logan as they slept on.

Logan grinned and momentarily debated whether he should let them sleep. But the inner young child that wanted his _first _Christmas overcame the polite feeling. And he was suddenly racing over to the bed of his foster parents. He tugged on the cover, trying to climb up on the bed. Only to fail and he was unable to reach and climb up. Logan continued to tug on the cover, and attempt to climb as he began to whine.

"Kendall! James! Wake up! It's Christmas!" He whined. He felt someone shift in the bed, and then a yawn.

"What? What time is it?" James asked sleepily, raising his head from Kendall's chest. The blonde stirred and groaned from being awake. James blinked sleepily, and spot fluffy, brown hair poking up from the edge of his bed. A groggy smile, whipped across his face.

"Doesn't matter. Wake up! It's Christmas!" Logan whined again and attempted once more to climb the bed. He could hear Kendall's groan and James' sleepy chuckling. _They were awake!_ "Come on! You gotta ge' up! Come on!" Logan begged with a pout. He was suddenly lifted up from behind and carried onto the bed. Logan scrambled to his feet to see James had picked him up. Gratefully, he began to jump on the bed.

"Come on you guys! Stop sleep. It's Christmas you guys!" He cried excitedly still jumping. Even though they were somewhat still tired, James and Kendall had to grin brightly at the sight of Logan's new excitement and joyful personality._ How could anyone hurt him?_

"Are you sure?" Kendall mumbled sleepily, turning so his back was facing Logan. He hid a smile into his pillow. "I think it's too early. It can't be Christmas."

"You're right." James grinned, deciding to play along. "I'm too tired. I think we should just sleep all day." To prove his point, he buried himself under his covers. Logan stopped in jumping to gasp loudly at the two.

"No! You can't sleep all day! You'll _miss_ Christmas!" Logan whined and jumped towards Kendall and James' faces. Kendall only grinned further.

"I don't know, I think James is right. We should just sleep." He murmured trying to hold in his laughter.

"No! Wake up! Wake up!" Logan continued to whine. And only when he began to shake Kendall's shoulder did James and Kendall spring into action. Kendall had pulled the child down onto his back, holding him tightly, as James danced across Logan with tickling fingers. The child screeched in laughter, trying to squirm away from the tickling fingers but Kendall had a firm grip.

James continued to tickle Logan, listening to the joyful screeches of laughter Logan was emitting. When the pale child's face turned pink, James stopped to allow the giggling boy to catch his breath.

"Alright. Alright. Let's get up and head downstairs." James announced. Logan beamed and bolted from the bed and out the door, faster than James and Kendall had ever seen. The two shared a content smile at Logan's happiness before heading downstairs.

They had made Logan _happy_.

X.X.X.X

Once Logan had reached the living room in the downstairs he glanced out the window to see it was beginning to snow once more. His eyes sparked at the magical sight of snowfall on Christmas, before looking at the tree.

When his mouth dropped open.

For under the tree, were a pile of presents. Not one or two or even a few, but _many_ presents all under the tree, littering the floor. Some were big, some were small. Some were square or rectangle or even oddly shaped. Never before had Logan seen so many gifts. He edged closer to the _sea_ of gifts only to gasp in shock.

There, on many of the gifts, was Logan's _name_, written across the wrapping paper. Some of these gifts were _for_ Logan. And Logan was in shock. He'd gotten gifts? Him? But how?

His wide eyes, roamed across the many gifts with his name on it, and even some with Kendall's or James' name. To his surprise also, a stocking was hanging on the fireplace with _Logan's name_ on it. And the stocking was full.

Logan gasped again, looking around widely when Kendall and James finally emerged into the room. His wide eyes snapped to Kendall and James who both smiled at the child.

"Merry Christmas Logie." The boy said. And that was enough for Logan.

The little boy rushed across the room, before leaping into James' arms. The surprised adult grabbed Logan quickly before twirling the little boy around. Logan giggled and buried himself into James' chest as Kendall wrapped his own arms around the two.

"Merry Christmas James and Kendall." He whispered. Kendall and James held on for a few minutes longer before setting Logan on the ground.

"Well, you have presents to open. Shall we get started?" James asked. Logan nodded happily and ran back to the pile of gifts. He smiled when he noticed the cookies and milk were gone, along with the green envelope. _He had come!_

"Alright Logan, go ahead and pick whatever gift you want." Kendall said as he seated himself on the couch, pulling James onto his lap. James sighed happily and leaned his head back onto Kendall. Logan grabbed the first gift he could find with his name on it and set it aside. He scanned the pile and pulled up two more gifts.

Then, he handed Kendall and James the gifts who frowned. They noticed their names were on them.

"We _all_ get to open one! Together!" Logan beamed. James grinned back as did Kendall, before all three were ripping off the wrapping paper of their gifts.

James smiled to himself, upon seeing upon seeing his gift was a magazine that had the first ever article of him for his music career, when he was just an aspiring young adult, trying to be noticed. It was nearly four years ago, when this article had gone out, and was special to James. It was a signal that his career was going to begin and that music was what he should do. The article wasn't around anymore now that James was famous, and Kendall had always said that had been his favorite article.

While Logan wasn't looking, James gave Kendall and loving look who winked back. Kendall smiled at his own gift, which was a jersey signed by his favorite hockey player from the New York Islanders.

"Wow!" Logan's cry had pulled James and Kendall out of their trance, and the two saw Logan staring in amazement at the toy sklydascope and telescope in his hands. He grinned and looked through each scope with a giggle and breath of astonishment. "These are so cool!" He cried.

Then, the doorbell rang.

James and Logan both frowned and looked up, but Kendall grinned. He stood up and headed to the door ignoring, his confused fiancé and foster-son.

"I hope you don't mind. I invited the team and all for Christmas." He called and James and Logan both smiled brightly.

Kendall opened the door and was greeted with most of his team, and coach along with their wives. Those on the team who had plans, or a family of their own had already wished Kendall a 'Merry Christmas' and left a gift. Kendall welcome his friends and ushered them all in. Many helped to hang up their coats and weather wear, to reveal everyone was wearing their _pajamas._ Just like Kendall, James and Logan.

Carlos was the first to rush into the living room to greet James with a 'bro hug". Logan, upon seeing Carlos, brightened happily and jumped into Carlos' arms. He laughed and hugged his new friend as the team piled into the room to greet James and Logan.

Ever since meeting the team four days ago, Logan had gotten a bit closer to all of them, especially Carlos and Camille, and was no longer _too_ shy around them. They were kind and good to Logan, which allowed him to open up more to them.

"Hey, there kiddo! Merry Christmas!" Carlos laughed and held Logan on his lip. He looked at all the gifts. "Wow, it looks like you did good this year! Look at all those gifts!" He cried and Logan giggled.

"They're not all mine! Some are Kendall's and James'!" Logan protested with a crooked grin. Carlos chuckled and poked Logan's small, pink nose.

"Like how many? Two?" Carlos teased and Logan laughed again. He was set down on the ground to be engulfed in hugs and hello's by the rest of the team. Kendall and James had snuck away for a moment and now returned with many more gifts.

"These," Kendall emphasized and set the pile of gifts down with James. "Are for each of you. Everyone on the team has one gift here." He grinned. His entire team smiled at their captains and his fiancé's generosity. Logan cheered and commanded everyone to come into the living room. The team had piled in while James stood with Logan.

"Hey Logie. How would you like to be Santa today?" James asked, and Logan gasped in shock.

X.X.X.X

The team's entire excited chatter had stop immediately when Logan entered the living room. For the small child, was wearing a Santa suit. He had a red Christmas hat on his head, which hung a bit to the side. He was wearing a slightly too big, red coat with a black belt tightly around his waist over his red pants. His feet were still in his pajama covered covers, but he looked like an _adorable_ little Santa Claus. Kendall and James each had their own red hats on and were holding the piles of gifts for the team.

Kendall whispered something in Logan's ear and handed him a gift. He smiled and skipped happily to where Carlos and Camille were seated by the fireplace. Logan grinned again and handed them the gift.

"For Carlos and Camille, from Santa." Logan said and headed back to James and Kendall. This continued for the next half hour. Kendall would whisper something to Logan and either he or James would hand Logan a gift. From there, Logan would shyly hand the gift to a player on the team with a smile, repeating what he said to Carlos and Camille. Only with the players name and their wife's name if they had one.

When each player had a gift, Kendall handed one from under the tree to Logan and James while grabbing his own. He smiled softly, looking around the room as the chatter picked up and the presents were ripped open.

But his favorite sight was that of Logan sitting in James' lap, smiles etched into both faces with pure love, as they ripped open their gifts in excitement.

His family.

* * *

**Okay I'm going to end it there. It's longer than I anticipated and if I kept going it would be much, much too long. Haha. But I'm going to finish the Christmas Day in the next chapter, along with Logan and Kendall going to an LA King's practice. Time for some Kendall and Logan bonding! Yay!**

**So how was Christmas Eve and Christmas? Was this a good chapter? Did you all enjoy it? And I wonder what Logan wrote in his new letter to Santa. Hmmm…..**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter it was extra long! So, thoughts? Comment? Likes? Dislikes? Please tell me anything in a review! They're all inspirational!**

**And also I hope you all have a wonderful, safe and very exciting New Year! Happy 2013! Goodbye great 2012**

**Thanks and peaceout!**


	12. Realization

**My goodness, I apologize for how late this is. Honestly, it's been a year since I updated. (Lol 2012-2013). Sorry, sorry. Anyhow this chapter will focus more around Kendall and Logan with a bit of Carlos. So yay all you Kogan fans (father-son)!**

**Also, THANK YOU again as always for those wonderful reviews you guys always send. They make me so happy! And everyone who favs or alerts this story, a big thank you to you all too! ;) You guys are so sweet.**

**Now, can we also give a big round of applause for the wonderful, 'swagUPwindowsDOWN', my new beta! Thanks huh!**

**My replies to those who haven't logged in:**

**Scarlett: I know just four more. I'm sad it ends :( But I think I may do a sequel if people want. Maybe. I'm so happy you love this and stick around! Thanks dear! Haha yes his family! Isn't he a sweetie? Thank you again! You are quite welcome :D. Yay you had a nice day! That's great. But thanks you always make me blush with your love and reviews *great big hug for you***

**Guest: Hey there my pretty. Why yes. I do have a twitter. If you tell me who you are, I can give it to you if you want :D**

**Lurker: We will see. But thank you so much for your very sweet review! I'm sorry this was a later update, please don't be dead! Do not die on me! *dramatic cry* Thank you :D**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Realization**

_December 25, 2011_

There wasn't a frown or tear in the entire Knight-Diamond house. The entire team was gathered and laughing amongst one another, sharing stories and tales of their own. Each of them had their own warm mugs of hot chocolate, and already opened gifts set aside as they began their stories and listened to one another.

Logan was finishing opening his last present from James and Kendall. Of course, James and Kendall had said many of the gifts had been from Santa, but they made a couple of the gifts from them, along with a few gifts from the team. Kendall and James were surprised when the team had given Kendall a few gifts of which they collected money together and bought for little Logan. But they were truly blessed to have a team like Kendall's.

Logan was in heaven. Every gift he had received had been unexpected and a surprise, but he loved each and every little gift he had gotten. He had gotten books and games and little toys to play with around the house. On this one special day, Logan had gotten more things for _himself_ to play with, than he had gotten in _five years_.

When Logan unwrapped his final gift his eyes nearly bugged out of his head in shock. In his hands was a small pair of ice skates. Two brand new little ice skates, which were freshly sharpened. He snapped his head up to look at Kendall who was grinning back at them.

"They're you size. I had to find one of your shoes to check the size." Kendall chuckled. "But I want to take you to a practice and I can teach you how to skate on the ice, if you want that is." Kendall said with a soft smile. The smile he received was so bright; it lit up the entire room, better than the sun could.

"Really?" Logan asked. James' smile softened, as Kendall chuckled again.

"Really." Kendall promised, and in the next second he found himself in a tight hug. Logan had thrown himself on top of Kendall and wrapped his skinny arms around Kendall's neck. Kendall laughed joyfully and wrapped his own arms around the little boy he had grown close to. Logan pulled back with a crooked smile of his own before squirming out of Kendall's grip. The blonde laughed and gently set the squirming child down.

"Hold on, I have a gift for you two!" Logan announced much to James and Kendall's surprise. How had Logan gotten them a gift? Without them knowing? The two shared a confused look, while Logan quickly ran up the stairs. In the corner, James and Kendall could see a wide grin set upon Carlos' face. Even his eyes gleamed with the smile. They shared another look. _Whenever he grins like that, it means he is up to something_.

Their thoughts of figuring Carlos' plans were interrupted when they could hear the sound of two little feet padding down the stairs. Logan had come running down the steps, faster than James and Kendall could have imagined. He skidded to a stop right in front of the seated James and Kendall, and grinned happily. From there, he produced with two hands, a rectangular shaped box, wrapped messily with wrapping paper. And scrawled across the paper were Kendall and James' name.

"Aw, thank you Logan." James beamed and took the gift from the five-year-old. James and Kendall both began to rip off the wrapping paper. Once the gift was finally unwrapped, Kendall and James were left with a black, soft-covered photo album. The two both raised an eyebrow of their own. Logan remained standing where he was, nervously twiddling his hands behind his back.

James was the first to open the album, and his heart nearly stopped when he saw what was inside. Inside the album were pictures, but not just any pictures. They were pictures of _them_. All three of them. Logan, Kendall and James. They were pictures that James or Kendall or a friend had taken over the past three weeks.

Each photo was decorated with stickers or scrapbook paper and writing. Some of the writing was Logan's messy handwriting while some of it was a familiar handwriting that Kendall and James knew. But as the two flipped through the pages, they could feel the emotions building inside of them. With each flip of pages of memories, Kendall and James couldn't find the words to say.

"Um, Carlos helped me. He helped put it together, when he came over two days ago. He printed out the pictures and helped me write some things I didn't know how to spell." Logan cleared his throat nervously. Suddenly his bare feet became much more interesting than Kendall or James.

Finally James and Kendall both looked up from their gift, to look at the small nervous boy.

"Logan…" James tried only to find himself choking on his own words. Then, without another word, James pulled Logan down into his lap in a tight hug. Logan squeaked in surprise as he was smushed into James' chest. It took a moment before he could feel the joy radiating off of James, and a gentle smile covered his face. He twisted in James' grip so he could properly face and hug the older male.

It was then that Kendall had also joined into the hug, with a wide grin etched into his cheeks.

"Oh Logan. It's beautiful." James whispered softly, holding the boy tighter to his chest. He could feel Kendall also hug tighter and he heard Logan breathe a sigh of relief. The gift had been a surprise but yet, it was the perfect gift.

Everyone else in the room had gone silent to gaze at the three with a new look in their eyes.

It was a look of pride.

Pride for this new family.

X.X.X.X

It was during their Christmas feast that Kendall remembered his promise to his mother. The team had all gathered into the kitchen, with food they had prepared and food that Reginald had made for the family. The long table had been set, and opened so those who were forced to eat on the kitchen island could still talk and engage with those in the dinning room.

The entire table was covered in foods to eat, with happy adults chattering amongst one another, sharing the food around, and little Logan stuffing his face in-between Kendall and James.

The fire was roaring in the living room, surprisingly bringing some warmth into the two rooms of people. A radio in the living room was blasting Christmas songs in addition to the happy conversations and even occasionally singing by the hockey team and family. Whenever a Christmas song that _everyone_ knew came on, the entire house would erupt into song and sing along. Including _Logan_.

Kendall was watching with bliss at his content teammates and fiancé talking and singing amongst themselves as they enjoyed the Christmas feast. When Carlos had pulled out his cell phone, receiving a call from his Papi, Kendall's eyes widened.

He turned to James, who was looking at his with a confused expression.

"James, we have to Skype Katie and my mom!" He whispered sharply, so Logan couldn't hear. James' eyes widened and an eyebrow was raised. "I promised them last time they called that I would Skype them on Christmas so they could meet Logan!" At this James' confusion dissolved and he nodded.

"Should we go now? While everyone is still eating?" James whispered back. Kendall looked around the room to see most people were far from done with their dinner. He nodded and stood up quietly. James followed Kendall and nudged Logan softly. The child looked at James with a mouth full f mashed potatoes and raised his own small eyebrow.

"Come with Kendall and I." James smiled and held out his hand. Logan took his hand without hesitation and hopped off his chair. The three snuck out of the room, unnoticed by any of their friends, much to their relief.

Kendall headed into their bedroom first, to turn on the computer and web camera. James followed Kendall and pulled a chair up to the monitor. He had lifted Logan up, onto his lap, earning a laugh from the young boy, and looked at the book Logan held in his hands.

It was a book he and Kendall had picked out for Logan on Dinosaurs. And currently it was Logan's favorite book to read today. James watched Logan open up the book, while Kendall logged into the computer and set everything up. He smiled when Logan looked up curiously and received a crooked grin from Logan.

Upon hearing Logan's soft voice, Kendall looked away from the computer, only to smile at the sight and his heart warmed. Logan was reading his Dinosaur book aloud to James, who was listening intently with a grin of his own.

It was then that Katie and his mother popped up on the screen. The two instantly brightened upon seeing Kendall, from their poorly lit room.

"You actually remembered!" Kendall glared at Katie, who sounded genuinely shocked. His mother hit Katie's shoulder softly and laughed.

"Hello sweetheart. Merry Christmas!" His mother greeted much to Kendall's enjoyment. Katie had wiped the smirk off her face and was grinning at her older brother.

"Merry Christmas mom, baby sister." Kendall said gently. "How's Kansas been?" He asked as James closed Logan's book and pulled the chair closer to the computer. Logan blinked blankly as James whispered softly into his ear.

"How do you think?" Katie deadpanned, only to been hit once more by her mother. "Hey! It's true. It's so boring here at our Aunts house! The only fun was when the entire family finally came over today. You know how the crazy the Knight family can get." Kendall chuckled but nodded at his sister. He _did _in fact know how his family could get.

"James! Hi, Merry Christmas sweetie." Jennifer said upon seeing her soon to be son-in-law. James waved with a dazzling smile as he shifted Logan. Suddenly the little boy had become very shy, and was currently trying to find a place to hide on James' lap.

Jennifer and Katie both brightened instantly, when they could see a small brunette child sitting on James' lap. Even on a blurry computer screen, they could see how cute Logan was and how small he was. To their amusement, Logan continued to try and hide into James' shirt. They laughed and instantly the little boy ceased moving, staring at the computer. And they were faced with those big, _innocent_, chocolate eyes.

"Oh my. Hello, sweetheart. Are you Logan?" Jennifer asked softly very aware of Logan's past due to Kendall explaining earlier. Besides, she knew to keep her voice soft and low around a young child.

Logan peeked further at the computer screen when the woman with red hair – excuse him, Kendall's mother, spoke to him. He swallowed nervously and could already feel his heart beat increasing. He swallowed again, but nodded hesitantly at Kendall's mother.

Instantaneously the woman beamed. "Hello dear! I'm Kendall's mother, Jennifer. This is Kendall's sister Katie." Jennifer explained, pointing between Katie and herself. Slowly, Logan moved away from James' chest and cocked his head. He gave another shy nodded and smiled a small smile at them.

"He knows. Kendall told him all about you two, when Logan asked upon seeing photos." James chuckled as Logan waved once with only his fingers. Jennifer and even Katie practically squealed at the little boy.

"He's so cute you guys!" Katie gushed, causing Logan to blush a bright red blush. Jennifer, Kendall and James laughed gently at his embarrassment.

"Looks like you are already a ladies man." James said, as Logan met his eyes.

"Just like you James." Katie smirked into the camera. Kendall glared at his sister, leaving Jennifer to smile and James to scoff.

"Not anymore, I'm not. Just a Kendall's man." This caused the four family members to all laugh at James. Their laughter was interrupted by a tiny giggle, which had come from Logan. James and Kendall chuckled softly, as to not cause an awkward silence, while Logan hid his giggles with his hands.

"Look at that. You've already got him laughing at your jokes." Katie stated happily. Kendall and James both nodded while Logan giggled again and looked to the screen curiously. "Say Logan, how old are you?" Katie asked.

She watched as Logan ducked his head shyly, peeking up at them. His dimples were showing as a tiny smile graced his lips. Slowly, he held up five fingers. Katie and Jennifer already knew his age, but it was definitely a surprise again. Logan was _so_ small.

"Wow five! No way!" Katie continued, not wanting Logan to see their surprise. Jennifer smiled with pride at her daughter. Another giggle emitted from Logan as he nodded once more. "Five is such an awesome age. Nothing to worry about, being a kid, all the presents and toys." Katie sighed, and again Logan nodded.

Jennifer continued to talk with James and Kendall while Katie continued to interact with Logan some more. She'd finally gotten Logan to speak after thirty minutes, and was currently debating Dinosaurs with him right now.

Their debate was on whether a T-Rex could beat King Kong. Logan was on the dinosaur's side.

"Nuh-uh. A T-Rex has big sharp teeth!" Logan exclaimed, opening his arms wide as if to enhance his point. "He could eat da monkey!"

"No way. King Kong is way stronger than that T-Rex. He could hit him so hard; the T-Rex would fall after one hit." Katie argued as if she too were five-years-old. James, Kendall and Jennifer smiled at the two.

"He's great you too, just wonderful." Jennifer murmured proudly to the two men.

"He is. Isn't he?" Kendall grinned unconsciously.

After another hour of talking, Logan was showing signs of being ready to nod off at any minute. He was fighting to keep his eyes open as he leaned back in James' lap, occasionally rubbing his eyes and blinking rapidly. A few times, Logan was caught yawning and James and Kendall decided it was time to end the call and say goodnight.

Jennifer and Katie both said goodnight to all _three_ boys, earning three equal goodnights, and Kendall turned off the computer. Downstairs, the team had all finished eating and had cleaned up the table. Upon seeing the very tired and sleepy five-year-old in Kendall's arms, and the time, his team decided to call it a night.

Each left on their own, giving Logan a hug and a goodnight, until finally it was just James and Kendall. By then, the two males had also realized just how tired they were. And they trudged upstairs and into their rooms, thanking themselves for still being in their pajamas. James gave Logan his medicine and inhaler, before anything else. The young boy took it without a complaint, too tired to care.

After that all three of them fell onto James and Kendall's bed. Before finally falling asleep.

Kendall and James were curled towards each other, sleeping quietly, and little Logan was tucked in right between them.

* * *

_December 27, 2011- 8:45 a.m._

Kendall glanced back in the rearview mirror of his car, to get a look at Logan's face. He tried to read the expression on Logan's countenance, to find any fear or nerves. But to his surprise there was absolutely none showing. Inside there was a small, happy smile, and curious eyes. This brought a smile to Kendall's lips.

Logan was strapped in tightly in the backseat, with his book of human bones, happily reading away while swinging his feet. Kendall looked to the passenger seat to his right, to look at his duffle bag with _two _pairs of ice skates

Today, Kendall was taking Logan to one of his hockey practices, and teaching him how to skate. Logan had been thrilled by the news but also pretty nervous.

As Kendall pulled into a parking space by their hometown skating rink, he turned to look at Logan and was greeted by that little crooked smile of Logan's. Logan closed his book and waited anxiously in his seat for Kendall to help open his door. He was finally going to learn how to skate, just like his _idols_.

Kendall swung the duffle bag over his shoulder and took Logan's gloved hand firmly in his. Upon entering the rink, Logan couldn't help but jump a little in excitement to calm his nerves. The smile on his face remained, as they headed _towards_ the ice, rather than a seat like he had before with James. Speaking of James, the male was currently back in his recording studio with Gustavo to add final touches to his album and was unable to go with Kendall and Logan.

Kendall led Logan around the ice, to the player's bench where some of his teammates were strapping on their skates, while others were already on the ice warming up. Today was the best days for Logan to go, considering the coach was out of town with family for Christmas _and_ New Years. So it was okay if he slacked off to help and teach Logan.

Upon seeing their captain with a certain brunette child, many members of the team instantly brightened and greeted both of them. Logan waved to everyone on the team, following Kendall to his seat on the bench.

"Hey there Ken, Logie." Carlos greeted from the ice as he skidded to a stop. Logan waved from the bench at his friend. Kendall greeted Carlos and went to put on his ice skates. Logan hopped off the bench to talk to Carlos. He had to stand on his tip-toes to peer over the board, much to Carlos' enjoyment. _Being short wasn't fun_.

"So what are you doing here little man?" Carlos asked with his usual, friendly grin. He leaned over the board so Logan's wouldn't have to look up too much. Logan beamed.

"Kenny's going to teach me how to ice skate!" Logan cried joyfully. Carlos laughed at his energy. "And I get to watch you guys practice hard!" Many of the team that was still on the bench chuckled at the energetic little boy and Kendall grinned as he finished tying his skates.

"Alright Logie, come here. Let's get these skates on." Logan bounced happily as Kendall's words.

"Be right back." He said to Carlos and jumped into his seat on the bench. He allowed Kendall to put on his skates, fix them and tie them, until they were snug and warm. Logan wiggled his new skates a few times and swung his legs. Kendall stood up and picked Logan up into his arms before stepping onto the ice.

Once they were on the ice, Logan instinctively clutched tighter to Kendall's jacket when they began to glide across the ice. His heart hammered and he looked around to find them skating. Kendall smiled softly and nudged Logan in his arms.

"Let me warm up. So I'm ready to go when I teach you. And this way you can get used to the feeling of skating. Okay?" Logan nodded quickly and took a deep breath. _That's a good idea. Let's let Kendall warm up_. He thought quietly.

"Going a bit slow today, aren't we Knight?" Dak grinned smugly as he passed his captain with Carlos. Usually the blonde would be skating circles around his team or racing others. But he wasn't about to move any faster with Logan in his arms. He simply stuck his tongue out at the two, causing a giggle to escape Logan.

"Logan and I could beat you two suckers any day. We just decided to go easy on you all today." Kendall shrugged while Logan nodded determinedly. His friends rolled their eyes with a short laughed but were soon skating off in a race of their own.

The hand clutching Kendall's practice jersey, tightened as Logan looked down at the ice. His nerves were returning as the butterflies in his tummy were. Luckily, Kendall held him and skated in circles for a few more minutes.

But once the entire team was warmed up, Kendall stopped skating and Logan swallowed nervously.

"Alright I want quick short games of two on two at the goal down there. Everyone else can pick their choice of shooting on another net. Or practicing speed and agility along that opposite wall. Today will be easy but I want you all to be doing something. It doesn't have to be hard, but do something." Kendall instructed his team. Everyone agreed with their captain and broke among themselves along the ice into stations. Kendall looked down at Logan as did Carlos.

"You ready to learn kiddo?" Kendall asked. Logan bit his lip for a moment but nodded. _I'm not going to get scared. Not this time_. "Alright. We'll go slow and easy." Gently, Kendall put Logan down onto his own two feet, grabbing his arms and torso once his skates were on the ice. Logan could feel his skates sliding across the ice uncontrollably. But Kendall didn't let go of him.

"Alright now try and stand up. Keep your feet straight. Try not to move them, dig into the ice a bit." Kendall instructed gently, still with a firm grip on Logan. Nervously, Logan nodded and focused his sight on his feet. It took a few tries, but Logan was finally standing on the ice, with still feet. Slowly, Kendall began to loosen his hold.

Once Logan could feel Kendall's hands releasing his arms he panicked with wild eyes. He looked at Kendall with big, round, chocolate orbs, filled with fear and his skates began to slip again on the ice. Quickly, Kendall held Logan upright.

"Hey, hey. It's alright. I won't let you go, but I have to loosen my grip so you can learn to stand up without my help." Kendall assured quickly. Logan panted heavily against Kendall's arms, eyes still wide with fear. "I promise I won't let you go Logie. I promise."

_I promise_.

For a few seconds Logan only stared at Kendall fearfully, but finally he relaxed and loosened his grip of Kendall. He took a deep breath and nodded at the adult. Carlos had skated himself over to the other side of Logan.

"Don't worry Logie. Kendall won't let go. If there's one thing he's good at, it's keeping his promises." Carlos winked, earning a grateful smile from Logan, who hadn't even realized how much he was standing up by himself with a bit of Kendall's help.

"Only one thing?" Kendall growled. Logan looked up to finally notice he was basically standing upright on his own. He was standing on _ice_. By himself.

"Hey! I'm standing 'Los! Look what Kenny did!" Logan cried excitedly. Carlos beamed and gave Logan two thumbs up. Kendall and Carlos ignored the team, who weren't even practicing, but rather watching Logan and Kendall.

"Good job! See, it's not so bad!" Carlos encouraged, standing upright.

"Alright Logan, now I'm going to let go, okay? But I will be right here. Right next to you, so you won't fall. I promise. I want you to stand up completely by yourself." Kendall said gently. Fear flashed across Logan's face, but it was gone as fast as it came. Kendall waited for a confident nod from Logan, before finally letting go of Logan completely.

Almost instantly Logan's skates slid out from under him. He waved his arms wildly as he tried to correct his footing, causing his balance to shift unevenly. Logan wobbled back and forth on the ice, with Kendall right behind him, gently tugging his arms so he never fell forward or backward.

It took over ten minutes, but finally Logan was able to remain upright without wobbling, twisting or turning. A bright smile, beamed from his face.

"There you go Logie!" Kendall praised, gently grabbing one arm. He skated and positioned himself right behind Logan, before taking both of Logan's hands and raising them up. "Now, are you ready to begin moving?" Again Logan hesitated with slight fear, but he swallowed the fear down and nodded at Kendall. "Right now, I want you to push your right foot forward first. Lift it slightly off the ice, and then glide it forward." Logan looked down at his feet, and concentrated. Slowly, he pushed his shaking right foot forward. "Great! Now do the same thing with your left foot. Glide it forward also."

Still looking at his feet, Logan did as he was told. And suddenly they were moving. _He_ was moving.

"Excellent Logie!" Kendall cheered, with a firm hold on Logan's hand. "Now keep repeating it. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left." Logan did as he was told and pushed with his feet every time Kendall said which foot.

After a few minutes they were skating at a steady pace. Logan heart beat picked up with warmth and a dazzling smile covered his face as he beamed at Carlos. "Lookie! Lookie!" Logan cried. When he looked up, the tip of his right skate chipped into the ice, getting caught and suddenly Logan was stumbling. His mind flashed white with panic, until Kendall gently steadied him and placed him back upright.

"It's alright Logie. Let's do it again." This time and every time after, Logan kept his eyes locked onto his feet to watch incase they got stuck. He and Kendall skated ten feet forward and ten feet backward, and then repeated the pattern.

Finally after twenty minutes Kendall pulled them to a gentle stop. "Alright that was great Logie! Now, let's try this again, but this time I want you to look up and see where you're skating. Don't worry. I won't let go." Kendall promised. Logan squeezed Kendall's hand and looked up with his fear filled eyes.

"But what if I trip?" He gulped nervously. Kendall's face softened.

"You might. But I have you, and I won't let you fall." Kendall murmured. "When I first learned how to skate, I tripped a lot."

"Really?" Logan whispered. The fear was beginning to diminish in his eyes. Kendall chuckled and nodded.

"Oh yeah. I tripped and fell so many times my back and rear was sore for days. Everyone trips and falls Logie. Even professionals." Kendall winked at the boy. Logan gasped in surprise. He looked forward and carefully nodded again.

"Okay. Let's go." Logan squeaked. He began to move his feet just as Kendall taught him and once more, the two were moving.

Just as Kendall said, Logan _did_ trip on the ice quite a number of times. Each time he panicked, but each time Kendall caught him and pulled him up right. Never once did Kendall let him fall.

It only took Logan an hour to be able to skate while looking where he was going without tripping or stopping. He made sure he was comfortable with the skating, feeling joyful and giddy that he was. This was when he announced that to Kendall.

"Excellent! You're a fast learner Logie!" Carlos praised and Logan blushed.

"He's right, you're doing amazing Logan." Kendall encouraged and halted himself and Logan. "Alright now we are going to try skating with more of _you_ skating and less of _my _help. I'm going to move to your side. I'm still going to hold your hand and – hey Carlos, can grab your other hand. Then we're going to skate beside you, so you don't fall. And you're going to skate yourself. Okay?" Kendall asked. He didn't move from his spot until Logan could answer him verbally, without a shaking answer.

Once he received the confident agreement, he slowly moved from behind Logan, to his side. His heart beat faster in nervousness when Logan wobbled a bit, but straightened when Carlos grabbed his other hand. "You ready? You can do this Logie." Kendall smiled.

Logan nodded and looked down at his feet. Then, with small glides, the trio began to move together in a line. Kendall and Carlos patiently, remained at Logan's slow pace, never rushing the boy or even commanding him to look up. Kendall allowed Logan to look at his feet for an hour before suggesting he look up.

Logan tightened his grip on Kendall and Carlos, but slowly his gaze moved upward. He continued to look ahead, and even look at Kendall and Carlos, while his skates continued to glide smoothly across the ice.

The warm butterflies were returning in his tummy.

"Hey! Lookie, we're doing it!" Logan said happily with a big and bright smile. Kendall grinned proudly and Carlos gave him the thumbs up.

After two hours of skating around the entire rink in multiple circles, Logan was comfortable with skating with people on his own. Finally, Kendall asked if Logan would like to try _all_ by _himself._

Logan swallowed nervously and didn't answer for many minutes. Kendall remained patient and waited, not pressuring Logan to try it.

Finally Logan nodded. "I-I wanna try."

Carlos was the first to let Logan's hand go. Kendall continued to hold Logan's hands nervously, as they skated once more around the rink. Finally at the straight end of the rink, Kendall slowly let go of Logan's hand. He immediately rushed behind Logan, watching protectively.

Logan wobbled for a bit when he was on his own, and waved his hands widely around to find his balance. Once he found it, he leaned forward a bit and took his first slides forward.

_I'm doing it! I'm skating…all by myself!_ Logan thought as he skated slowly ahead. The butterflies were now flying all in his tummy, as a smile plastered across his cheeks. He straightened a bit and looked up. That's when he saw James.

His eyes widened when he saw James, standing by the bench, waving to Logan. Instantly Logan waved back happily.

"Look James! Look, I'm skating by myself!" Logan yelled in pure bliss. But once he had waved towards James, he had completely lost his balance. Unfortunately, Kendall had glanced back when Logan had said James' name to find his fiancé. Which resulted in Logan's fall backward.

Logan hit the ice hard with his bottom, and felt his back hit the ice next. Tears sprung into his eyes as he slid on the ice. His gaze upward became blurry like a daze, and his mind fogged.

"Logan! Oh god, Logan!" He heard Kendall cry behind him. Suddenly, he could feel himself being lifted up, and off of the cold ice. His found himself being placed securely into Kendall's arms and his mind began to clear up. Through all the chaos, he hadn't even realized his tears had spilt down his cheeks. _He was crying._ "Logan I'm so sorry! Oh god, I promised I wouldn't let you fall! And you did! I'm so sorry!" Kendall's frantic and scared voice broke Logan's daze.

He blinked, feeling more tears fall down his cheeks, and Kendall's face came into his view. Kendall's face was pure guilt and sorrow, with tears of his own in his green eyes. Carefully, Logan brushed his tears away with his small thumb. Kendall did the same to Logan, with shaking fingers.

"Logan I'm so sorry. I –"

"Kenny…" Logan said softly. He took a shuddering breath before a smile broke out across his face once more. A smile to stay. "Everyone falls."

* * *

**So there is Chapter 12, a bit more fluff with Kendall and Logan bonding. I hope you all thought it was cute and enjoyed it! ;). So three more chapters left, I have some neat stuff planned for these final three chapters. I am very excited :D!**

**Well, I hope it was good! Thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Just want to talk? ;) Send your thoughts in a review please. I love them all so much!**

**Thanks and peaceout!**


	13. Disaster

**Hello everybody! Well it's time for the thirteenth chapter for this little story. Good old unlucky 13 :). This chapter was interesting to write. It did require some more time but it is here finally! As I promised. I hope to have this story completley done by the 7th at the latest. Before school starts again. Ugh, I am so dreading that :/.**

**Anyhow, THANK YOU all so much for all the wonderful reviews and kind words. Almost all of you are so amazing and kind. And do not feel unspecial those who fav and alert this story. You are just as important and special to me. :). But I must say, please no flames. They are uncalled for and just rude. If you flame I'm just going to trash it. There's no need. _Contructive Critisim _is welcomed. Not flames.**

**Sadly my little beta was sick today so excuse any errors for this chapter. We sadly could not beta this chapter just yet. I hope she feels better and is recovering from being sick soon.**

**Replies to the reviewers who haven't logged in:**

**Stacey3: Haha I loved your review, it made me laugh :D. I'm glad the Kogan bonding was cute enough and good to read. Ohhh, I would be sad if you hated me forever...hopefully the end of this chapter will be good! Haha thank you for your kind words, it bring me happiness this story is an enjoyment. I have considered it, and I've also considered the opposite...only I know where it will go! :) Enjoy!**

**HannahSimmons: Really, I should? :) Well okay, I've been wanting to a sequel. I just haven't sorted out all the ideas. But thank you! And hmm, I think I may have missed your hint. What was it again? ;) Enjoy!**

**Scarlett: Yay! As always, it is a joy to read your reviews! ;) I'm so happy that chapter was cute and that you liked it! You're welcome, and I definatly am considering the sequel! Happy News Years to you also! ;D Also thank you again so much! I just love hearing from you always dear. Hopefully this chapter was good also...but enjoy! Much, much love from me! ^_^. **

**Anon: Thank you for your request. I'm glad you sent it :). I am considering doing a sequel, I just have to find more plot ideas haha. I hope you also enjoy this chapter very much! Thank you!**

**Guest (#2): He is isn't he? You are right, Logie's confidence is building! Yay! You'll see if he does by the end of this chapter! I hope you like!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Disaster**

_December 31, 2011- 1:15 p.m._

Logan was only opening up more and more as he remained in the care of James and Kendall. His fearful side was beginning to fall back, as if pushed behind Logan where one couldn't see it. Instead, one would see the glow radiating from Logan's new found happiness. One wouldn't have figured this child had been abused for five years of his life.

James and Kendall really were his saviors.

After he had fallen while learning to ice skate, Kendall had been very protective of Logan as the young boy continued to skate on his own. Kendall's guilt eventually went away, when Logan was safely skating all on his own an hour and a half later. James had even brought a pair of skates to join Kendall and Logan on the ice. By then, the team wasn't even attempting to practice anymore. Rather, the team all skated freely around together or with Kendall, James or even Logan.

Once Logan was confident enough to skate on his own, he allowed Carlos to take him around the ice with Dak, leaving Kendall and James to skate together. It was a romantic moment for the two lovebirds. Without a doubt.

Over the next few days, Kendall or James took Logan back to the ice skating rink to skate for a couple hours. Logan had grown to enjoy skating more than reading and who was Kendall to deny Logan any happiness he found in skating.

Also, over these few days Logan could feel the change within himself. He could actually feel the fear becoming less inside his body. He could sense the anxiety becoming a smaller problem. And he _knew_ his happiness was blooming like never before.

Today was New Year's Eve and Logan was fairly curious to find what the plans were. He may not have celebrated New Year's Eve in the past (rather New Years had been a sore subject for Logan; it just meant another year of pain was coming in the past), but he'd heard the other kids at his orphanage talking about their past experiences. Experiences that involved parties, staying up until midnight and lots of _food_.

Logan sat down next to James and Kendall in the living room, trying to pay attention to what was on the TV while Kendall and James cuddled. He heard James' phone go off shortly. James picked up his phone to look at the message he'd received and grinned.

"Well, guess what we're doing today?" James suddenly announced. Logan smiled to himself for a moment before looking at James in question. Kendall also raised one fuzzy eyebrow in curiosity, from his position next to James. James merely grinned at the two. "_We_ are off to a New Year's party. Over at Roque Records. Gustavo invited all _three_ of us to his annual New Year's Eve party."

Kendall brightened next to James and Logan beamed eagerly. _A party?_

X.X.X.X

_11:15 p.m._

The party was getting louder by the minute. People were waiting in excitement for the clock to strike midnight, to announce the start of 2012. The idea of a New Year brought eagerness to most of those at the party, including Logan, James and Kendall.

The music was blaring at full blast, causing vibrations along the walls and floor. People continued to show up, crowding the studio to its limit. Logan admitted he was starting to get nervous and anxious. Kendall and James were never far from him, always within a three-foot radius. But even with that, Logan still felt himself growing anxious.

This was a _lot_ of people for Logan to handle. Actually, it was a lot of _strangers_ for Logan. Of course he recognized Carlos and Camille and a few players from the LA Kings, but the amount of people Logan actually knew was much smaller compared to the amount of people he _didn't_ know. Normally, Logan was not a people person. Ever since his parents, he had an issue around too many people he did not know or trust.

Logan commended himself for making it this long at the party. There was limited alcohol, and luckily Gustavo would not tolerate drunks in his studio. Kendall and James had been kind enough to check in on Logan every five minutes. On quite a number of occurrences, the two also asked Logan if he wished to leave the party and go home. Logan rejected the idea. He felt guilty if Kendall and James had to leave their friends just because he was a tad _uncomfortable_. Also, he honestly was enjoying himself. He'd never been to a party before and this party had kind participants and friends he knew so as a first party Logan could say he really was enjoying himself.

He figured he could hold this anxiety in, just until midnight, and then he could request to leave with Kendall and James. He thought he could make it that long.

But, Logan also figured it wouldn't hurt to stay even closer to James and Kendall until then. Hopefully those two could help calm his nerves. Logan looked around and found James right away. He was not even five feet away at a counter, facing Logan while he talked to another man, whom Logan did not know. Logan could tell James was watching him, because he could see James' eyes shifting toward him every few seconds or so.

Smiling, Logan made his way closer to James, taking deep breaths. Once Logan reached James, the brunette immediately said goodbye to the man and picked Logan up. Logan grinned warmly and snuggled himself securely in James' arms.

"Hey, how are you?" James asked into his hair.

"Pretty good." Logan lied with a smile. He looked up to see James' face. Now he knew James didn't believe him at all. "There are just a lot of people here." Logan admitted quietly, looking down in shame. He felt James pull his chin up so he was looking into James' hazel eyes.

"I know. Would you like to go home?" James asked softly. He shifted Logan and rested the five-year-old on his hip. Logan bit his lip, shaking his head quickly.

"No, no. Not yet. At midnight." Logan said firmly. James' frown of disbelief wavered for another minute, until Logan smiled. "Honestly, I want to stay until then. This party is fun." Logan said truthfully. James finally grinned at the boy, content with his feelings.

"Good. Let's find Kendall. He's somewhere in this party." James said as he began to walk and squeeze his way through the crowds of people. Logan blinked at James.

"You lost Kendall?"

It took a moment for James to register what Logan had said, before he doubled over in laughter. This only caused Logan's curiosity to rise. "No, no," James said in between chuckles. "_I_ didn't lose Kendall. _He_ probably got lost by himself." James muttered with a short laugh. Logan giggled at the response and nodded in agreement.

The two continued their search for the missing male for another ten minutes. Finally, Logan spotted Kendall in the kitchen with Camille. He pointed where to go and James also found Kendall. James set Logan on the ground in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Stay, I'll see if he wants to go outside where it's quiet with us." James said right into Logan's ear so the child would be able to hear him over the loud music. Logan nodded and waited patiently while James left to go in the kitchen. He watched James greet Kendall was a fierce kiss and smile, before a familiar voice caught his attention.

"So Kendall and James really did this fostering thing?"

"Yep. The kid's name is Logan." Logan recognized this voice to be Gustavo. The man Logan met when he first saw James and James' producer. His ears rose at his name and the curiosity in Logan was peaking. He knew he shouldn't be listening in on a conversation he wasn't a part of, but _technically _he was. They were talking about him.

"How long is it?" This voice belonged to a woman. She wasn't anyone Logan recognized, so carefully he tiptoed behind a counter. There he could see Gustavo sitting on a stool, drink in hand, next to a tall blonde woman.

"A month."

"An entire month? My, that's a long time."

"Yes, but it's until the fourth." Gustavo said as he sipped his drink. Logan felt his heart drop at the reminder of how much time he had left with this program.

"I imagine this was good for James and Kendall's image." The woman replied curtly. Gustavo chuckled with a nod.

"You have no idea. The media was in a frenzy trying to figure out who Logan was. He, Kendall and James were practically on every cover. This publicity was better than we even imagined." Gustavo said smugly. The woman laughed loudly at Gustavo.

"Oh really? Was that the plan all along?" Logan felt his throat suddenly tightening. His knuckles were white as they clutched the corner of the counter tightly. Suddenly, breathing was becoming a difficult task for Logan. _Please say no. Please say no_.

"Oh yes." Gustavo continued without hesitation. "I brought this program to James, _intending_ it to be for the positive publicity. That's why we picked it up in the first place." Gustavo's ignorance continued without a thought to the words that were spilling out of his mouth. The woman perked up. "The entire reason for this "fostering" was to earn James new publicity that would benefit his new album. This kid made his publicity even better than I hoped. James' image is now a number one topic."

It was as if the world around Logan was falling apart. Like those scenes in an apocalyptic movie, where the hero watches as their world ends in disaster. Logan's world had finally come crashing down.

The noises around him were drowned out with dread, becoming mute to his ears. His other senses dulled, while his heart broke. Hot tears were blurring his vision and his body began to tremble with a new found dread that was too familiar to him.

_They lied! He's a liar! They never loved me._ Logan thought frantically. His breathing was becoming erratic, and suddenly he couldn't get enough air. He couldn't breathe. _He couldn't breathe!_

His broken heart was still pounding with agony in his chest, as he hiccupped with tears. He knew a panic attack was coming on and he didn't even bother to try and stop it. He didn't _want_ to stop him.

He just wanted this pain to end.

_They never loved me at all. This entire time. It was all just a plan for fame. It was all just a lie._ Logan thought painfully._ Just like _them_. Those two are exactly like _them_. Like Mommy and Daddy._

Logan's vision was now beginning to swirl and change as the tears fell from his eyes, and air couldn't come into his body quick enough. His head was beginning to pound painfully, as if his brain was being stomped on by a hundred wild deer. He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't breathe.

The pain was becoming too much for Logan as he swayed and stumbled on his feet. His hands were shaking as they rubbed his wet eyes. But the pain wasn't going away.

_Mommy and daddy were right. No one would ever love me_._ Why didn't I listen?_ Logan asked desperately and a painful sob ripped from his chest. _They were right. How could I have been so stupid to think James or Kendall ever loved me! James was just using me._ Suddenly, his blood boiled and anger tore through his body. His tears of sorrow become hot tears of anger, and his throat tightened. His breathing quickened even more in pace, allowing hardly and oxygen to enter his body.

_He was using me! He was lying to me and using me, and I fell for it._ Logan thought bitterly. _I fell for his lying. Why would anyone love me? I'm worthless. Unwanted. Unloved. Pathetic_. Those words poured across his mind over and over, and suddenly he could hear _their_ voices.

His mother and father.

They were screaming in his head. Calling him those dreadful words and names. Despising his existence. Logan sobbed angrily and clamped his hands over both ears, in an attempt to drown his their voices out. But it was no use. They were _inside_ his head.

_Nobody could ever love you! You're pathetic. You're a mistake! You're very existence ruins the lives of anyone around you! You. Are. WORTHLESS._ Logan pounded a fist against the counter in anger and fear as more sobs came from with in his body.

_They're right. They're right_. Logan thought helplessly. _James never loved me. This was just a game to him_.

As if on cue, a hand touched his shoulder. And then a voice broke his thoughts._ James'_ voice.

Logan spun around sharply, coming face to face with James who looked at Logan with worry and concern. _It's not real. He's only pretending._

"Logie? Logie, what's wrong? What happened?" James asked quickly, reaching out to hold Logan. Logan growled and slapped James' hand away. James' face was a mask of horror. Next to him, Kendall's expression was identical to James'.

"Logie?"

"Don't call me that!" Logan cried darkly. More tears fell down his pale cheeks and his heart ached. He was starting to feel lightheaded and his breathing was becoming much too difficult. "D-Don't e-ever call m-me t-tha-that!" He gasped sharply.

James looked at Logan as pain and heartache filled his body. _What was going on?_

"Logan, w-what's wrong? Why are you so upset?" James begged pathetically. Kendall kneeled down also and tried to touch Logan's arm in comfort. Logan instantly flinched away from Kendall's touch, as if Kendall's hand had burned him.

"Y-You l-lied to m-me!" Logan yelled. Other guests were beginning to murmur with one another, ceasing in their good times, to look at the three males. Logan ignored them completely.

"L-Lied?" James squeaked in surprise. "Lied about what?" The pain in James' facial features looked so real to Logan, that he almost wanted to throw himself into James' arms. _No! He's pretending! Like always!_

"Logan, what are you talking about? What have we lied about?" Kendall asked, trying to remain and seem calm. He was the only one who appeared calm.

"E-Every-th-thing!" Logan wheezed some more when he couldn't breathe. He began to back away from James and Kendall. James reached out pitifully, as tears of his own gathered in his eyes. "A-Abo-out loving me!" Logan shrieked.

Suddenly James and Kendall went rigid. Those words had cut through their hearts like a knife.

"Logan –" James tried hoarsely. Logan only jumped back.

Logan was beginning to look too pale. His face was nearly a ghostly white and his lips were turning blue. His eyes were wide and red and his entire body was shaking.

"No!" Logan screamed loudly, causing James _and_ Kendall to flinch back. "Y-You l-lied to me J-James!" He gasped angrily. "Y-You only c-cam-me to f-fost-foster me, be-beca-because of p-publicity-y! It was a-all f-for pub-publicity!" Logan cried. He didn't wait for James to respond. Instead he turned and ran through the crowd and out the door.

Leaving behind a frightened Kendall and a broken James.

Logan had found out.

X.X.X.X

Logan was gasping for as much air as he could possibly get by now. He had stumbled his way through the studio and out the back door. Now he was on his hands and knees outside, unable to breathe.

The pain in his chest was growing and burning inside his heart. Tears of pain, fear and sorrow fell to the cold pavement beneath him.

_How could I have been so stupid?_

Logan's brain and mind was beginning to get foggy and he found he couldn't think right anymore. It was just a jumbled mess. His vision had doubled and blurred while his body swayed without balance. A burning sensation was ripping from his chest to his throat. _He couldn't breathe!_

"Logan! Logan! _Logan!"_ Logan could barely hear the screams for his names through muffled ears. He didn't even notice as two sets of feet stopped behind him. In fact, he hadn't even noticed one person kneeling next to them until a face came into his blurred vision.

James.

Instantly, Logan flinched back weakly and wheezed loudly. "N-No. L-Liar." He gasped weakly. His broken heart ached at the sight of James.

"Logan, please! I'm sorry you found out that way! But it's not all true! I do love you Logan! I do love you." James cried thickly, through wet tears. He grabbed the weak and pale child by the shoulders. Logan wheezed sharply at the contact, but fell limply into James' arms. James couldn't see Logan clearly through his pools of tears. His fingers were trembling as he tried to brush some of Logan's bangs off his sweaty forehead.

Logan squirmed weakly, as he gasped for more air.

"Hold on Logan. You're going to be okay." James sobbed. He turned around and screamed for Kendall who was searching in another alley. Logan's lips were turning a darker shade of blue and James' fear built.

"N-No. N-no l-lo-ove." Logan moaned.

"No Logan! I love you! It's not a lie." James sobbed, searching his pants pockets for Logan's inhaler. He was having an attack. "I promise I've always loved you! It was never a lie!" Once James finally found Logan's inhaler, he pushed it to Logan's mouth. Logan took it without complaint.

But nothing changed.

It had been over ten minutes and Logan was getting _worse_. Despite his use of the inhaler. Kendall had finally found James and raced to kneel in front of him.

The sight of Logan made his breaking heart lurch into his throat. _Oh god. Oh god!_

"It's not working! He's dying Kendall! He's dying!" James screamed. "Call 911! Help him Kendall! Please, help him!" James begged through sobs. Kendall was already calling for help and an ambulance. Behind the trio, a crowd of scared and sad passerby's was building.

Logan shivered weakly in James' arms and his body fell even more limply. James tore his jacket off his body and wrapped Logan in it. "You're going to be fine Logan. You'll be fine." He sobbed holding the wheezing child tighter. In a distance he and Kendall could hear the sound of sirens coming towards them. Kendall gently touched Logan's white cheek and shakily spoke.

"Don't w-worry Logan. Help is coming. Help is coming."

* * *

_Los Angeles St. Matthew's hospital- January1, 2012- 12:30 a.m._

Over an hour. They had been waiting for over an hour in the hospital waiting room. Kendall and James were clinging tightly to each other, trembling with sobs. James hadn't even bothered to compose himself. He simply buried his face into his fiancé's chest to cry quietly. Kendall was the only one who could comfort him through this. He only wanted Kendall.

Kendall looked awful. But he wasn't sobbing like James was. Instead, silent tears trailed down Kendall's cheeks and he stared, with a blank expression, at a wall.

Logan had been rushed in an ambulance to the hospital after paramedics arrived to where Kendall and James were with Logan. An oxygen mask and IV had been placed on Logan right away. Upon entering the hospital Logan had nearly quit breathing twice. He was immediately rushed through two double doors, unconscious, and that was the last James and Kendall saw him.

Now they were waiting. Simply waiting.

But the wait was killing them both. They had no idea if Logan was stable or if he was even okay. No one had come to the waiting room yet. All they could do was _wait_.

"Hush Jamie. Shh." Kendall whispered hoarsely, stroking James' hair gently. He ran his other hand up and down James' back. Gently he stopped staring at the wall blankly to plan a kiss of James' head. "Shh. Hush now."

Kendall continued to whisper and soothe his fiancé until James' sobs were much quieter. Once his cries were silent, Kendall planted another kiss.

"Logan's going to be alright. He's going to be fine." Kendall whispered softly. James shook his head in Kendall's chest.

"He hates me. He thinks I've never loved him." James said brokenly.

"Maybe now. But Logan will understand later."

"No Kenny. He won't. I saw it in his eyes. The pain…the betrayal…everything…" James stopped talking, in fear he would burst into sobs again if he kept going. He took a shuddering breath and then he felt Kendall lift his chin up. Now James was forced to look into Kendall's teary eyes.

"He's hurt, yes. We should have told him. But all we can do is show Logan that we love him. And that this wasn't all for publicity." Kendall said gently. He swiped his thumb under James' eyes to catch the falling tears. "We have to prove to Logan he _is_ loved by you and me."

That was when a doctor finally came through the double doors. "Logan Mitchell?"

X.X.X.X

Kendall had never felt so scared in his life before. Except when he was proposing to James months ago. And now, he felt exactly like he did that night. Terrified of rejection. Only this time, he feared of Logan's rejection.

The doctor led him to a hospital room, opening the door for Kendall to enter. The doctor left James outside the room with himself and he shut the door behind Kendall.

This was awkward.

Kendall stood in the center of the hospital room, unsure of what to do. Logan was already _awake_. He was staring at Kendall with blank and empty eyes. The IV and oxygen mask were still hooked up to Logan as was a heart monitor.

God, Logan looked terrible. His face was still a sickeningly pale color, with dark rings under his eyes. His lips were no longer blue, but a pale shade of pink. And his eyes…his eyes were so _empty_.

"H-Hi Logan." Kendall cleared his throat looking down at his hands. Logan said nothing. "I hope your feeling better. You scared us, you know. We thought…we really thought…it was bad." Kendall couldn't bring himself to finish his original thought.

To his surprise, Logan spoke.

"Why?" His voice cracked and was hoarse from wheezing and screaming. But the emotion behind it was clear as a bell.

"Logan please, none of it was a lie. The love James and I had for you, it was real. It was so real Logan." Kendall whispered, head hanging low. "We never were pretending or lying to you, I swear on my life, it was true. Not a day that went by was false. We could never _pretend _to love you. We _did _love you. I swear. I _promise_!"

Logan didn't give a response back and Kendall did not raise his head.

Finally Logan spoke. "Publicity?"

How could one word every time hurt Kendall in every way imaginable? How could this young boy hurt Kendall so much with words? Kendall took a deep breath and finally looked Logan in the eyes.

"Yes. James was introduced to this program by Gustavo who wanted publicity. I cannot deny that." When pain and anger flashed across Logan's face, Kendall continued before he could speak. "_But_, that was not the main reason as to why _James_ did this program. Maybe it was for Gustavo but not James. Not at all. He simply used publicity as an excuse for others.

"But let me tell you something," Kendall sat down on the edge of Logan's bed softly. "James has always wanted to adopt or have kids. Always. So when he was introduced to this program, James immediately agreed and hopped on board. His real intention was to actually foster a child. _That_ was James' intention." Kendall said and watched for any sign of emotion on Logan's face. All he could see was the struggle in Logan to believe Kendall's words.

"Listen Logan, I know your parents hurt you. I know they were awful to you and did terrible things no parent should ever do. And you've been hurt. You've been hurt to the point where you feel like you can't trust anyone. So let me say this, James is not like your parents. He could _never_ do that to you. Do you know why?" Logan stubbornly looked away from Kendall, as if to appear uninterested. His mood didn't faze Kendall in the slightest bit.

"It's because James _loves_ you Logan. Just as much as he loves _me_."

At this Logan snapped his head back to stare at Kendall. His eyes widened.

"It's true Logan. I've know James for many, many years. And I love him, so I know just about _everything_ about James. That means I know when James truly loves someone. And, he loves you Logan." Kendall said, turning his gaze to the door where James was standing with his back to Kendall. A sad smile graced Kendall's lips. "Listen to me when I say, you are special to James and I. You have made a place in both our hearts that is irreversible. That hole you've made, nobody can fill it; nobody can replace it and nobody can ever begin to compare except you.

"You're the only one Logan. And I _know_ James loves you so much. He loves you practically as much as he loves me. None of this was a lie Logan. Especially not James' love. Not mine either." Kendall continued with a sigh. He didn't want to look at Logan's face. Not yet anyway. He had to finish first. "See, you caused James to grow attached to you. You dug your way into his heart – into my heart! At first James wanted to help you when he picked you. Those were his true intentions. He wanted to help you and give you a holiday season of which you _deserve_. Just ask anyone.

"I'm sorry this holiday turned out to be sour. And I'm so sorry you were hurt, and now you're in the hospital. But please Logan, I love you. _James_ loves you."

X.X.X.X

When the door swung open behind James, he nearly fell over. He struggled to stay upright, panicking a bit when he turned around to find Kendall in the doorway. Fresh tears gathered in his eyes as he tried to swallow. _What is he going to say?_

James was very surprised when Kendall pulled James up and smashed their lips together. He froze in the kiss while Kendall tilted his head in order to deepen the kiss. Only then did James close his eyes and melt into the kiss. New tears ran down his cheeks when he closed his eyes, and Kendall pressed their foreheads together. Their eyes were still closed, but finally Kendall spoke.

"He's asking for you."

James jerked back with disbelieving eyes and tears. However, Kendall only smiled at James and stepped out of James' way. James felt his legs turn to jello and they shook when he entered in the room. His heart drummed loudly in his chest and the lump in his throat was growing.

But there, awake in the bed, was Logan. And he gave James a real smile – his famous crooked smile – before opening his arms for James to come.

And James all but ran to Logan as fast as he could.

* * *

_January 1, 2012- 1:30 p.m._

This was how it should be. Forever.

James was lying on the edge of the bed while Kendall was lying on the other side of the hospital bed and Logan was safely tucked in between the two of them. It took nearly fifty minutes of apologizing, begging and explaining before Logan was finally accepting that James and Kendall really _did_ love him. Once he was satisfied he had snuggled up close to the both of them, with a hand firmly grasping both of their shirts.

The exhaustion had finally caught up to Logan and he had succumbed to a deep sleep ten minutes ago. Kendall and James were sharing sweet kisses while the small boy finally slept. Their hearts were no longer aching.

"Look at him. I can't believe how much it heart to almost lose him." James whispered and gently stroked the sleeping Logan's cheek. The child sighed in his sleep and moved closer to James' hand. Kendall smiled.

"I know. I've never felt so broken." Kendall admitted. He could hear James sighing. "Some New Years this turned out to be."

"It doesn't matter. As long as we're with Logan." James whispered.

"Kendall. I don't know if I can let Logan go…I-I don't know if I can give him back." James choked suddenly. "After today…I don't know if I can handle sending him back." He bit his lip, figuring what Kendall would say. However, Kendall was full of surprises.

"We should adopt."

James couldn't help it. He gasped at Kendall and stared at his fiancé. Kendall had a soft and loving gaze on his face that was focused on Logan. "Adopt?"

"Yeah. Adopt Logan." Kendall murmured quietly. "I don't want to see him leave. Not ever again." Kendall admitted. Suddenly a huge smile whipped across James' face and his heart was soaring. _Kendall wanted to adopt! Kendall loved Logan!_

"I think that is perfect. Adopting Logan. Hmm, how does Logan Diamond-Knight sound?"

Kendall grinned and leaned in for a kiss.

"It has a nice ring to it."

_Logan Diamond-Knight_.

* * *

**And end. So yeah, some more angst but maybe as you can tell angst and sickeningly sweet fluff is kind of my specialty. Haha :). I hope this chapter was good enough, espeically with this faster update than chapter 12! Yay!**

**Only two more chapters. I have much in store for these last two chapters.**

**So are you all satisfied with the ending? I hope it brings hope to you all ;). So, thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Anything you wish to say? Just, don't throw anything, I beg you. This unexpected angst. I'm sorry! Well, just leave anything off in a review for me. I always try to respond to all of them (except flames, then I don't care). **

**Thanks and peace out!**


	14. Breaking

**Hey hey! So I'm back! And only one more chapter after this one! Wow, I can't believe it all. Can you? So Sad, aww. Will you all be sad that it's almost over, or happy? **

**I have nothing to say about this chapter because I don't want to, except be ready for much heavy emotion. Very heavy emotion. Except that it's the LONGEST chapter I have written.**

**Again THANKYOU to all who review this story! You're all wonderful! And THANK YOU to all who faved this story or alerted it, you too are lovely! Even those who simply read this story I give my most sincere thanks.  
Responses from me:**

**Guest: That is a very cute idea. I may just use it! And I am defiantly thinking about it.**

**Scarlett: No! I swear that's not my intention, but haha toying with emotions is kind of my specialty. But aw, I'm glad there was a smile through tears ;) Your reviews are always just so wonderful to read. They really always make my day! But thank you, thank you so much! You can kill Gustavo if you like, go ahead ;). I know poor baby Logie. Haha, isn't that a beautiful name for Logan? Very fitting! Buuut I am most defiantly thinking about a sequel I just need to come up with a plot and ideas first. ;) But thank you! You always are just so kind and absolutely wonderful! Thank you for making my day. Thanks! Lots of love also! :D**

**SWACGleekFreak: Haha, I get lazy to log in a lot also. ;) But I'm happy you are still reading this story and enjoying it! I know, poor little Logie. **

**So, umm…enjoy?**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Breaking**

_January 3, 2011- 8:45 p.m._

James and Kendall stared at Kelly, whom was standing in their door way for a few moments. They couldn't read her expression. Her face was blank, but a smile was on her lips. This left James and Kendall feeling a bit cautious for a moment. But the two shook off the feeling, remembering what they had agreed upon as of this morning.

"Kelly, uh hi!" James greeted the woman with a bright grin. "We were actually just about to give you a call. Kendall and I want to discuss something." He said happily. The slight pain on her face and even more forced smile went unnoticed by Kendall and James. Kendall waved inside their home, stepping back to allow Kelly to enter their house. She gave the two men a weak smile before stepping in the front door.

"Come on, we can talk on the couch." Kendall said as he helped Kelly out of her jacket. James led Kelly to their living room, while Kendall hung up the jacket.

"Do you want anything to drink? Or eat maybe?" James offered when he noticed he and Kendall had their Coke cans still out. Kelly bit her lip but shook her head. She seated herself stiffly onto the couch, shoulders hunched a bit, and mouth pressed in a thin line. James smiled once more at her before Kendall finally returned to the room.

The blonde slid into his seat next to James, across from Kelly, immediately taking James' hand. James smiled at his fiancé and squeezed his hand reassuringly. Deep down, his heart was racing wildly in his chest, beating like an erratic drum. By the look in Kendall's eyes, he could tell Kendall was just as nervous as he was. _They were really doing this._

_They were finally doing this._

"So, Kendall and I would really like to discuss something very important with you, concerning Logan." James said after taking a deep breath. For a moment, Kelly's eyes widened as she looked between the two._ Is she figuring out what we're trying to say?_

Kendall opened his mouth to continue with James' thought and add the explanation but Kelly beat his to it.

"Logan's being adopted."

Freeze. Cut.

James felt his entire body becoming rigid and stiff upon the words being uttered from Kelly's mouth. His heart suddenly froze over with dreadful ice, and his throat became dry. He could no longer feel Kendall's hand in his own as his body froze over with fear.

Next to James, Kendall had also stiffened. Though his next actions were not as frozen as James' were. Rather, Kendall thought Kelly was just beating him to the punch line.

"You know…?"

"Yes, of course I do. I am his caretaker." Kelly whispered softly, eyes casted downward. She couldn't bear looking at James' face for another minute. Never before had she seen so much pain, etched onto a person's face, except when she had _first_ met Logan. "Logan's adoption came to me earlier, and I was the first aware."

Kendall frowned for a moment and he could only stare at Kelly. _How had she known that they wanted to do this? They were about to call today!_ He glanced over at James to read his expression, and suddenly it all clicked.

It was as if a light bulb had gone off inside of Kendall's head. And his eyes widened with fear; his heart rate picked up and his breathing was suddenly much quicker. As if he couldn't get enough air. He could feel his own heart splitting open in half with realization. The agony had torn into him, ripping and shredding every ounce of emotion bottled inside him. The pain of the truth was too much.

Kelly wasn't talking about them.

She meant _another_ couple.

After that, not another word was uttered, and the sharp silence hung above their heads. When James saw the pain in Kendall's eyes, and the color drain from Kendall's face, his heart had broken completely. And his worst fear had been confirmed.

They were _too late_.

Tear pooled into his hazel eyes and his vision began to turn blurry due to the tears. His throat was closing up and burning from a sharp lump of pain. He couldn't bear it anymore. He'd never felt this pain before, except when he thought he'd nearly _lost_ Kendall. The pain was becoming too much.

His lower lip trembled and James clamped his top row of teeth onto his lower lip to hide the trembling. His hands were shaking at his side. It was then he realized Kendall's own hand was shaking inside of his.

"Oh." Was all James could utter. Just one word. But yet, in that one word, there was so much pain and agony laced within it. There was a broken man, uttering his last words. All it took was one word, and Kelly swallowed her tears.

"The couple I mentioned, when you first came James, they called us back. They called us to say, they wanted to adopt Logan. They have almost had all the paperwork done." Kelly whispered voice hoarse and wavering from emotions. She scanned her eyes across the room, looking _anywhere_ – anywhere but at Kendall and James.

For now, they both wore masks of agony.

"They really want him." Kelly said after a deep breath. Kendall and James remained silent. Kelly felt a lump rising in her throat when she understood why they were so upset. It was as if a dark cloud had suddenly fallen over everyone in the room.

"T-That's good for L-Logan." James managed to choke out. He didn't know honestly, how much more he could take. They were too _late! Too late!_ The pain in his throat and his chest was becoming unbearable as the realization was really settling in. His heart was throbbing like never before and tears were filling faster in his eyes. It was only a matter of seconds before he would lose control.

"E-Excuse me." James muttered and all but sprinted out of the living room.

Leaving Kendall and Kelly alone.

Kelly swallowed when the dark silence rang on, as she watched James' retreating figure. Kendall looked as if he were frozen in his place. His face was a deathly pale white, and his eyes were become glassy and red. This only confirmed Kelly's thoughts. Which deeply hurt her.

"S-Someone else?" Kendall broke the silence. Kelly winced at the crack in his voice. She noticed entirely how broken Kendall managed to sound once more, and her heart ached. With a thick swallow, Kelly nodded and forced herself to look at Kendall right in the eyes.

Mistake number one.

In Kendall's eyes, it was a window into his soul and emotions. She could see the pain and agony; she could feel the sorrow and hurt; and she could feel the anger and regret. She was gazing into a window of a broken man who looked as if he had lost everything.

"Yes. It's an older couple who had first looked at Logan in the past." Kelly whispered. "They were going to adopt him before but couldn't…_commit_ and canceled the whole ordeal." Kelly continued softly.

Mistake number two.

"Couldn't _commit_!?" Kendall snapped harshly. The evident anger was showing more and more now. "So suddenly _now_ they are ready to commit!?" He hissed, causing Kelly to flinch. She didn't flinch at his voice, no; rather she flinched at the hot, angry tears that were now trailing down Kendall's face.

"Kendall." Kelly sighed. "Look, they are a very nice couple and they will give Logan a permanent home that's good for him." She tried to explain gently. Kendall swallowed and his anger dissolved, but the tears trailed faster and faster.

_She…she doesn't know we…we were going to…_

"Right." Kendall sat back, body suddenly cold and numb. Kelly sympathized and sat straighter.

"We did this because you only have a day left in the foster program. The couple agreed to fly out here until the tenth, to allow you and James to finish your time with 'Home For The Holidays' with Logan." Kelly said softly. Kendall didn't move from his spot, as the crystal tears poured from his red eyes and down his numb cheeks. Kelly swallowed and stood up.

"I-I'll show myself out. Logan leaves to meet them on the fifth. Then he leaves for Minnesota on the tenth." With that, Kelly was out the room, out the house door and out of their lives.

But Kendall couldn't stop the hole from bleeding in his cold chest.

_They were too late._

X.X.X.X

Telling Logan hadn't been easy at all. In fact, Logan had reacted much worse to the news than either James or Kendall imagined. For all _three_ of them.

Logan had been in his room, building an army of his toy green soldiers – which he had received from Kendall and James for Christmas – against his pile of stuffed animals. His room was messy like that of a child who had been living here for more than a month. A room for a child who would _continue _living here.

James couldn't bring himself to speak just yet. Unshed tears built in his eyes, as he bit his lip to keep the tears from falling and making any sound. He and Kendall just stood outside the doorway, not making a sound or moving. They simply watched the happy child.

Kendall and James hadn't spoken a word to each other since speaking with Kelly. They couldn't speak to each other without seeing the evident pain, in one another's face. James could feel Kendall shaking next to him, and he gently took a hold of Kendall's hand and squeezed. It took a few seconds, but James could feel Kendall squeeze back.

That was when Logan noticed the two. He paused in midway into his battle, to glance up at James and Kendall in the doorway. Instantly, he brightened upon seeing the two adults. He dropped one of his toy soldiers to wave eagerly at James and Kendall.

This only caused more pain to erupt on both Kendall and James. _He had no idea_. Logan still beamed towards the tow adults, but when he received two forced and weak smiles his senses went up. _Something was wrong_. Immediately, concern rose in Logan and he hopped to his feet. His eyes locked on to James' and then Kendall's eyes.

They held the same emotion.

Pain.

Logan rushed over to the two adults he had grown to love and adore. He wrapped skinny arms around James' waist, taking one of Kendall's hands in his own. Gently he looked up.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked quietly. James and Kendall did not answer his question. Instead, they tightened their grips on Logan. By then, Logan could feel the tremors passing through both James and Kendall.

"Logan," Kendall finally spoke. His voice was hoarse, no higher than a weak croak. This instantly concerned Logan. "We need…to talk with you Logan." Kendall said softly. Logan nodded with a grin. He would make time for Kendall and James any time now. James and Kendall had managed to worm their way into _his_ heart. After New Year's all traces of doubt and sadness for James and Kendall, left Logan completely.

Logan felt himself being lifted up and into James' arms. He grinned again and buried deeper into James' neck, as James led them to Logan's bed. James and Kendall sat down on the bed, with Logan still on James' lap.

For a few minutes, there was only silence. James and Kendall didn't speak at first and Logan opted to keep quiet and wait. He could feel James' arms tighten around him.

"Logan, James and I have something to tell you." Kendall broke the silence with a gentle whisper. Logan looked up from James' chest to look into Kendall's dull, green eyes. Logan felt James' hands beginning to tremble, but he chose to ignore it. Just like he chose to ignore James' silence. "Logan…you are very special. As I told you two days ago, you are a special little boy to James and I. You hold a very special place in our hearts, a place that no one can ever replace."

Logan frowned in confusion but his mind began reeling for possible explanations for why James and Kendall were saying this._ Could they mean…?_

"We love you Logie. Very much." James whispered. His voice had surprised Logan greatly. James' voice sounded hoarse and cracked in the middle. His voice sounded like he was almost _broken_. Logan frowned even deeper at these thoughts and looked up in James' eyes. Again to his surprise, he noticed the tears piling in James' eyes. "In fact…we love you so much that we…we wanted to…we wanted…" James took a deep breath and swallowed his sorrow. "We wanted to _adopt_ you."

It had felt as if Logan's heart had stopped beating. The breath he was taken rushed out of his chest with a loud_ whoosh!_ and his eyes widened. Emotions were racing through Logan as he stared at James with his mouth agape. His tummy was filling with a hundred fluttering butterflies, while his heart drummed quickly like a humming bird's wing.

For a moment, Logan couldn't speak. _Was this a dream? Could this really be happening to him?_

Eventually he found his voice. "R-Really?"

At the spark of hope and joy that was inside Logan's eyes, James could feel a sob making its way through his throat. He hunched to push the sob back and swallowed thickly. Kendall could clearly see that spark of life in Logan's eyes, and it took all of his strength to not break down in front of Logan and James. It was then he realized Logan had asked them a question.

"Oh yes Logie. We mean it." Kendall whispered, his voice was laced with emotion. Emotion that Logan mistook of powerful happiness. It was then that a smile blossomed across Logan's face and his chocolate eyes came to life. Kendall simply wanted to cry.

"You guys want t-to adopt m-me?" Logan breathed looking back and forth from Kendall to James. His own eyes were beginning to fill with tears, tears of joy that is. This must be how Kendall and James felt. This must be why they both had tears.

Oh how wrong he was.

"Yes. More than anything." James croaked. He blinked to try and keep his tears at bay so they would not fall. "Kendall and I decided and agreed on it on New Years day while you were in the hospital." James could feel his throat beginning to close and his eyes were stinging sharply. But he couldn't stop now. He had to keep going, or he feared he wouldn't speak again. "But Logan, something happened."

_But? But what? Buts can never mean anything good_. Logan thought quickly and for a second he could feel dread creeping up behind him. Now his heart was racing in fear and in panic.

"Logan," Kendall tried but his voice died on his tongue. He couldn't find the right words to tell the heartbreaking news to Logan. How could he break this to the little boy he grew to love? _How?_ "Logan…you are being adopted. But, you're being adopted…by _someone else_." Kendall stared at Logan, who had gone rigid. He searched for any sign of panic or an attack, but much to his relief Logan did not show any signs.

However, Logan did show signs of despair.

"What?" James nearly choked on his tears at the sound of Logan's pain filled voice. He never believed Logan's voice could sound more painful than it had that night of his attack. But yet, his voice at this moment, sounded ten times worse.

"Logan, I'm sorry. James and I were going to call Kelly but…but she came to us. Earlier today. And she told us…that you were being adopted, by another couple." Kendall whispered. He struggled to keep his voice even without cracking. But his façade was cracking.

Logan looked horrified by then; his face had gone completely white. "W-Why? Who?" He cried desperately. James swallowed, closing his eyes and he tightened his grip on Logan.

"D-Do you remember that couple, that came to talk and visit with you a couple of months ago?" James asked quietly. Logan looked at James frantically, searching his face to see that James and Kendall were only joking. He found nothing of the sort. Slowly he nodded. "It was an older couple. They came close to adopting you but they didn't." Again Logan nodded as his tears poured from his eyes and down his cheeks. "Well, they're adopting you. For real. They've filled out the paperwork for you, before Kendall and I could. They're adopting you now."

Logan's heart was breaking and his head was aching and he pushed himself away from James. "No…" He whispered.

But to his horror Kendall nodded. "I'm sorry Logan. They go to you before we could. You stay with us until the tomorrow – it is the end of the foster program – and then Kelly comes. You fly back to Minnesota with them on the tenth." Kendall said brokenly. His body had gone numb and he could't even bring himself to comfort Logan.

"No. No." Logan murmured in horror.

"I'm sorry Logie." James said softly, his voice betraying his inner emotions, by remaining steady without cracking. He watched through his tears and Logan violently pushed himself away from him and Kendall. "B-But you're going to a nice home Logan. They'll take care of you.

"I don't _want_ them! I want _you _guys!" Logan finally cried and the sorrow had washed on Logan. Sobs tore from his chest as he pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes to stop the tears.

Kendall and James could only stare at Logan with shock and regret. They had no idea, Logan had grown this attached. Just as they had grown attached to Logan. Their hearts had finally broken into little pieces inside their chest, and the sorrow filled their throats painfully.

"Oh Logan," James rasped. Logan only sobbed louder at his name, causing the tears to finally fall from James' eyes and onto the bed. He couldn't do this much longer. He just _couldn't_. "I'm sorry we couldn't. I'm so sorry."

"I don't care! Sorry won't change anything." Logan cried painfully. He twisted away from James' comforting hand and curled himself into a ball. "I don't wanna leave! I don't wana go." His voice had gotten higher and higher with each word until he was almost screaming.

"We don't want you to go either Logan." Kendall said gravelly. His throat was getting tighter with each of Logan's awful sobs. "We love you and we want you to stay."

"Then let me stay!" Logan cried, jerking out of his ball and pushing towards Kendall. Kendall's breath hitched when he saw the begging of hope in Logan's red eyes. He couldn't find his voice upon seeing the plead on Logan's tear streaked face. "Please don't make me go away, please!"

"Oh Logan, I wish we could. I wish you could stay forever with us. We love you so much." Kendall murmured in a throaty and gruff voice. Logan's lower lip trembled as more tears gathered in his glassy eyes.

"Please don't make me go away Kenny. Don't make me leave." Logan begged brokenly. It was getting too much for Kendall by now. He buried his face into his hands as his tears finally spilt over and the sobs came free.

"I-I don't w-want you to l-leave L-Logan either." Kendall sobbed.

"Then don't make me leave! Please!" Logan begged and he poured every ounce of his soul into his words. Kendall could only continue to cry into his hands. He had finally broken.

"Logan…we would never _make _you leave. Never." Logan snapped his head towards James, who was trembling with tears along his face. His eyes begged for an answer he so desired, and James nearly fell apart. "But you have to. Logan, Kelly said they're a nice couple. And you're going to a great home."

"It doesn't matter! I want to stay, with _you_ Jamie! And with Kenny!" Logan snapped harshly, his tears flowing faster by the minute. "Don't send me away, please! Please." Logan begged pitifully.

James' entire body shook with sorrow and he so badly wished he could tell Logan he _could_ stay. He wanted nothing more than to allow what Logan wished and what _he_ wished.

"I'm sorry Logie. There's nothing we can do." James whispered.

Logan had visibly flinched back by James' words. _So this was it?_ Suddenly he felt himself growing angry underneath all his sorrow. If he was leaving then he did not want to miss either of them. And, he did not want _them_ to miss _him_.

"I hate you!" Logan finally screamed.

For James and Kendall, who thought their hearts couldn't take any more pain, felt their hearts had shattered by Logan's words. The dull ache in their chests now burned with pain and agony. _Logan…hated them?_

"W-What?" James stammered.

"I _hate_ you!" Logan screamed again through tears. He curled himself as far away from James and Kendall as possible in the room. Kendall and James remained frozen in their seats. Their tears were still running down their cold faces and their eyes…their eyes filled with so much pain, that guilt nearly consumed Logan. But he was far to upset to care.

Instead he curled up and sobbed even louder. "I hate you! Go away! Leave me alone!" Logan screamed again.

"L-Logan. We're sorry –" James tried.

"I said _go away!_" Logan interrupted James loudly, through his sobs." Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me…alone…" He sobbed brokenly.

Kendall and James didn't even feel their legs as they got up. Their bodies were too cold and numb to feel, as they made their way out of the room. Away from Logan.

* * *

_January 5, 2012- 7:45 p.m._

This wasn't how any three of them wanted to spend their last two days together. Broken, with regret and sorrow. Hurt beyond recognition. And worst of all, unspeaking towards each other.

Logan had locked himself in his room for the rest of the day after the heartbreaking talk with James and Kendall. Yesterday, the door was unlocked but Logan never came out of his room, not even to eat. And Kendall and James never bothered to go in.

Kelly was the only one who could get Logan to come out, and that was only because he was leaving today to meet his new "parents". Logan had been stubborn, very stubborn. He tried in every way to stall and remain in this house. But Kelly was also stubborn.

In the end, Kelly won.

Right now, she had two large suitcases waiting by the taxi outside, while she held Logan's hand. Logan was dressed in his coat, clutching Benny tightly to his chest. _This would be all he had left of _them. Kelly had filled a suitcase with most of the new clothes James' bought for Logan, and his other suitcase was filled with all the presents he had received from everyone this Christmas.

His head was hanging low, but there were no tears anymore. He had finally run out of tears today. He never picked his head up, not even to say goodbye to James or Kendall. He didn't want them to miss _him_.

But James and Kendall had followed Logan and Kelly all the way out to the taxi. Like Logan, they had also wiped away the last of their tears and wore expressionless masks on their faces. They had tried to get Logan to talk, to say _goodbye_, but the child didn't budge once.

Just as she was about to help Logan into the taxi, she looked back at James and Kendall standing behind them. His heart reached for the two hurt men and his throat tightened. Quickly she spoke.

"Logan, don't you want to say goodbye to Kendall and James?" She asked softly, kneeling down to his height. Logan didn't raise his head at first. He only shook it.

He didn't want to.

Kelly sighed and waited to see if Logan would change his mind. But still the child didn't move or budge. He only lifted his gaze to Kelly, and finally she could really see the hurt and pain in his eyes. And finally she understood.

Reluctantly, she allowed the child to enter the taxi without another word, before she too entered. Just before she closed the door, she bit her lip and looked back at Kendall and James.

Then quietly she said, "Thank you. _I'm sorry_." With that the door closed and the taxi sped away from Kendall and James' sight. And their dreams left with it.

X.X.X.X

That night, neither Kendall nor James spoke a word. Not to each other, not even to answer and pick up the phone. Instead, they both went straight to their bed and crawled under the covers. Their backs were turned to one another, and neither man slept.

Their shattered hearts were beyond mending and piercing their chests and lungs with such agonized pain. The reality of Logan truly being gone – gone from their _lives_ – had finally sunk in. And the pain was so much more worse.

Finally Kendall spoke. "We could always try again. For another."

But even Kendall knew those words were a waste and meant absolutely nothing to either of them. They were lost words that would never bring that same spark to either of them again.

_Nobody could ever replace Logan_.

X.X.X.X

_January 7, 2012- 12:30 p.m._

The hallow feeling in their chests wasn't going away. The pain was still there everywhere they went, every time they woke up. It never left them alone. Not even for a second.

Kendall and James were both trying to pretend as if nothing had happened. They were both forcing themselves to go on with their lives and to forget everything about _him_. They went back to their works that day Logan left. And they buried themselves in it.

It wasn't healthy and everyone around them could see it.

James forced Gustavo to work on new songs, to allow James to write, sing, and dance all in a matter of a couple of days. He stayed later at the studio, overexerting himself to the point of exhaustion. But even then he never stopped. He pushed himself harder, farther _beyond_ his limits at the studio. It was wearing his body down. But he couldn't stop, if he was focused on his work all day then the pain and thoughts of Logan could be pushed back to a spot where James wouldn't need to think about _him_.

All he wanted was for the pain to go away.

But finally Gustavo had enough. He couldn't let James continue to work himself to death like this. Gustavo had never forgotten that Logan had nearly _died_ because of panicking from the words _he_ said. His guilt had never gone away, and it only grew as James exhausted himself. Until one day he exploded. He told James he was not to return to work until he was well again. He told James he would _fire_ him if he didn't go home and learn to get over everything, so he _wouldn't_ work himself to exhaustion. Only when Gustavo threatened to fire James, did James finally listen.

But his reasoning was this: If he were fired, then there would be nothing to _distract_ his thoughts. Grimly he agreed and went home right away.

His home had never felt so empty before. Not even after his fight with Kendall. Because this time, Kendall _and _Logan weren't here. Kendall stayed out later for practices once more, everyday. He would leave as soon as James was gone and wouldn't return until after midnight. Kendall had also buried himself into his hockey.

Kendall and James were seeing less and less of each other, and it _hurt_.

James' heart hurt when he noticed Kendall's absence again when he returned home from work. He stood in his kitchen, staring at the floor numbly for hours before he finally moved. James avoided the living room, with the Christmas tree, at all costs. It only brought up more painful memories.

It was once he reached his bed, that he remembered Logan's letter. The letter with the _green_ envelope. The letter James and Kendall hadn't read yet. The letter was in the drawer next to his bed.

James couldn't tell you why he went to find the letter. He also couldn't say what made him read the letter. But he could tell you it was a mistake.

And the heartache only worsened.

X.X.X.X

_January 9, 2012- 12:02 a.m._

Kendall sighed as he opened the front door of his dark home. The darkness seemed so appropriate for his feelings at the moment, and during the last few days. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe _he_ was really gone.

It made Kendall want to cry.

This was why he should have never agreed with James in the first place. If he had never agreed this would have never happened. And this pain would have never come.

His hands balled into fists as he threw his duffle bag in the kitchen. He swallowed when he recalled the previous practice.

His teammates had watched their captain become stoic and emotionless one day at practice. They noticed how he stayed longer – longer than anyone of them – at _every_ practice now. They also noticed how angry Kendall had suddenly become. That's when they found out about _Logan_.

And their hearts broke in sympathy for Kendall and James. Logan was what they needed.

At first the team attempted to help Kendall, to get him to talk. But Kendall had snapped at anyone who brought up Logan or even his name. He brushed off all of their concerns harshly, and practiced hard. _Too_ hard. He was on the brink of exhaustion at the end of _every_ practice and at the _start _of every practice. They knew Kendall wasn't sleeping. They knew Kendall was going to hurt himself if he continued. Finally it was Carlos who put his foot down.

He demanded Kendall to go home and simply _rest_. And to _talk _to James. This had resulted in Kendall angrily yelling at Carlos to mind his own business. But Carlos wouldn't back down. A screaming match had resulted between the two and harsh words were exchanged. Finally, Carlos had brought the coach in and yelled something low.

He had yelled that Kendall was going to ruin his relationship with James.

This infuriated Kendall and a he snapped. He punched Carlos straight in the nose. And he was about to go for more until the coach stopped him. He explained his disappointment in Kendall and told Kendall he was benched for the next _three_ weeks.

Finally Kendall realized what he had done to Carlos, and he was violently sick. He was just like his _father_.

Kendall wanted to scream with fury and agony but instead he marched upstairs and into his bedroom. There James was already asleep, curled into a pitiful ball. Kendall's heart lurched at the sight and a lump formed in his throat.

Just as he was about to join James, he noticed a letter on his dresser.

With a green envelope.

X.X.X.X

_January 9, 11:15 p.m._

They were at it again. Fighting.

"This is all _your_ fault! You just had to go through with this in the beginning!"

"_My_ fault!? It was your fault! Maybe if you had opened up to _him_ right away, we could have made the decision sooner! Then _he _would still be here!"

"You should have never even brought _him_ here! Look at what it's done!"

"Are you denying ever loving him?"

"I _always _loved _him_!"

"So did I!"

"But it's your fault for getting us into this mess! You should have _never_ done this!"

"Maybe I just should have _never_ agreed to marry _you!_"

It was the same every night. The fighting, the screaming but never any physical fighting. Then the crying, and the pain and tears. The apologizing. The tears. Then, the silence.

It was always the same.

X.X.X.X

_Dear Santa,_

_Thank you so much for giving me just what I wanted for Christmas! You actually gave me more than I asked and could ever have hoped for! Instead you gave me _two_ someone's. Two, very special someone's. Instead, you gave me _James_ and_ Kendall_. And I couldn't be happier. They are my saviors, my heroes. They love me as if I were there son and adored me. With James and Kendall I finally got to know what it feels like to be loved. Loved for real. And it is amazing. Thank you! Thank you so much for giving me James and Kendall! I couldn't ask for anyone else. I wouldn't _want_ anyone else. Only them. Because I love them. I love Kendall and James with all my heart! Just as they love me. So thank you. Thank you for giving me _two_ people who love me._

_Logan Mitchell (age: 5)_

* * *

_January 10, 2012- 11:30 a.m._

They were rushing. Sprinting actually. They were sprinting as fast as they could, panting heavily with determination and worry. They didn't have time to spare. They had to _hurry_. They couldn't miss them.

Kendall and James were currently sprinting through the airport, past dozens of gates, feeling as if time wasn't on their side. Their hearts were hammering with anticipation and adrenaline. Their pulses raced wildly.

They had to make it! They had to!

It was when they woke up, did James and Kendall finally enter _his_ old room. There were still books and pictures and toys across the floor of _his_ room. But that was when they finally noticed the inhaler and medication sitting on the dresser. And the missing photo album.

Their eyes had widened in realization. Logan _needed_ his inhaler and medication. Kendall had called Kelly immediately and demanded to know when the flight Logan was taking was set to leave. Today was the tenth!

The two of them had driven to the airport, ignoring the speed limit and signs of the road, before rushing to a front desk. It took nearly two minutes of begging, yelling, crying and pleading with the front desk to direct them to gate 21B. Luckily, the woman behind the desk realized it was a serious situation. She had grabbed two airport security guards who lead James and Kendall through security and to the gate. Once they could clearly see the gate, James and Kendall broke into a sprint.

It was an 11:40 flight.

"Logan! Logan! _Logan!"_ James and Kendall cried, when Logan's little fluffy head came into view. They ignored the other people around them, staring in curiosity and shock at two men running and yelling through an airport.

"_Logan!_" Logan jumped a foot in the air when his name had been yelled loudly. His eyes widened and his heart hammered as he pulled from the kind man who was _adopting_ him. He turned around and his heart nearly stopped.

Kendall. James.

They were here.

Logan ignored every thought that ran through his mind, telling him to turn around. To forget them. Instead he pushed past the kind couple adopting him and broke into a sprint of his own. He leaped into James' arms burying his face in James' sweaty neck, as tears fell from his eyes. He didn't care if he wanted them to _not_ miss him.

He _missed_ them.

"Oh Logan!" James whispered hoarsely, clutching the boy tighter to his chest. He swayed on his feet and swung Logan in a circle. Kendall had reached the startled couple. Panting, he handed them the inhaler and medicine.

"T-These are L-Logan's…medications…he left them…at…at our…house." Kendall panted. The startled older gentlemen took the medication in surprise. A look of realization hit the woman as she gently touched her husband's arms. Kendall panted once more before walking to James and Logan.

"I-I missed you! I-I'm sorry." Logan cried softly into James's neck. A weak smile filled James' face. Gently he pulled Logan out of his arms and into Kendall's. The five-year-old latched on tightly.

"I'm sorry I was so mean! I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye!" Logan croaked quietly. Kendall smiled and hugged Logan closer.

"Shh, it's fine Logan. We aren't mad." Kendall said softly. Logan sniffled and reached for James. He wrapped one around James in a hug while he remained in Kendall's arms.

"I don't hate you. Not at all." Logan sniffled and pulled back. His looked to see tears falling from James and Kendall's eyes, but each wore a gentle smile. "I just...I just wanted to make you made…s-so you w-wouldn't miss me." Logan said guilty.

Relief swarmed through James and Kendall and both laughed softly. Gently, James pulled Logan's chin up.

"Logan, we could never hate you. We love you too much. No matter what, we are always going to miss you." James said firmly. Logan hiccupped and wiped his eyes.

"I-I'll miss y-you guys too. S-So much Jamie." He hiccupped. James smiled softly and rubbed Logan's head. "A-And Kenny t-too."

"So we will. But maybe we can come and visit." Kendall whispered. He, James and Logan were unaware of the surprising looks from the couple behind them, unaware of their thoughts. " But you be good for them. They're going to give you a good home. Alright?"

"P-Please?" Logan bit his lip looking up once more with those _innocent_, chocolate eyes. Firmly, James and Kendall hooked their pinkies with each of Logan's small pinkies.

Five smiles spread.

"We promise Logan."

"_Flight 21B, leaving for St. Paul, Minnesota now boarding. Flight 21B now boarding_."

* * *

**So yeah….I have no words to say now except uh, bye? *Runs to cower under my bed* One more chapter left, so you can't kill me just yet! Gah!**

**So sad to write. Only one more chapter. Hopefully I'll get it up either today or early tomorrow. But school starts. Ick.**

**So please leave any thoughts and comments or threats…in a review please! Please? *Cowers again***

**Thanks and peace out!**


	15. Family

**Wow, this is the last chapter guys. I'm a bit sad but also happy. Now people can read it without waiting for me to update! I surely hope this chapter is a nice ending and satisfies many. So Thank you all guys.**

**Also in the bottom A/N, I have put in my words to reviewers and thanks to everyone, so please check it out and if you reviewed look for your Penname and reply! :D**

**Also please review even if this is the last chapter. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't like. Or just to talk. So please thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**As for a sequel I have really been considering it but how about you all let me know? And maybe give anyideas!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Family**

_December 25, 2012- 7:15 a.m._

Morning light was streaming through the cracks of the blinds, of the window in their room. James could feel himself falling out of sleep and awakening slowly. He blinked a few times to gather thoughts in his sluggish and tired brain. Slowly the world came to him in a blur and he blinked a few more times before his room came into focus.

A small sigh escaped his lips as he finally awoken. He turned slightly to see his partner had not yet awoken from his sleep. A gentle smile fell over James' lips as he watched Kendall sleep. Kendall's hair was ruffled across the pillow, draping over his closed eyelids slightly. His chest moved up and down in slow, even breaths as he lay on his side, facing James. For a small moment James was content in lying right here where he was.

He was warm, very warm indeed. But this time, when Kendall was not yet awake, he was left to his own thoughts. He could freely think by himself, without feeling completely alone. James sighed and tightened his arm around Kendall's waist, as his eyes gazed towards the ring on his right hand. The little golden band on his ring finger.

His wedding ring.

The thought brought a dreamy smile to James' face. He and Kendall and finally been married. In the summer, just like James had always wanted. July 6, 2012. The day and their wedding had been absolutely perfect. It was even better than James ever imagined it would be, and it would be a day he would remember for the rest of his life. Because it was finally the start of his marriage with the man he loved.

James' eyes gazed back towards his sleeping Kendall and the dreamy grin on his face widened. He was so lucky to have someone like Kendall. To have someone who loved him no matter what obstacle had come their way. Through all the hardships and pain, Kendall never left his side. And he never left Kendall's side. He never even dreamed of it.

James' thoughts eventually wondered to other items, and people. Such as the people who would be coming over today. This Christmas their house would be very full with people. Such as family, friends, Kendall's teammates and more. James smiled to himself at the thought of all the people that would be coming.

His thoughts slowly began to wander to the past year, 2012. This past year had been one hectic and crazy year for James and Kendall. Especially around New Years and Christmas in 2011. For a second James felt his heart throb at the thought of their last New Year's and Christmas. That had been the craziest time of their life so far. And it was all thanks to _him_.

A warm smile crossed James' face at the thought of the little boy he loved. _He_ was always on their minds and always in their hearts.

In the next moment, James felt Kendall shifting next to him and a tired yawn could be heard. James looked over to see Kendall was finally waking up; his eyes were blinking to chase away the sleep. Kendall shifted again with one more yawn, before his eyes finally landed on James. A goofy, sleepy grin was placed on Kendall's lips causing James to grin again.

"Morning sleepyhead." James chuckled and leaned over to give James a soft kiss on the lips. Kendall grinned against James' lips and pecked James once more before snuggling into James.

"Morning. When did you get up?" Kendall yawned as James chuckled when Kendall's breath tickled his throat. James continued to smile.

"Not too long ago. I was just thinking about everything while you sleep." James said softly. Kendall hummed sleepily before looking up at James. He grinned once more before capturing James' lips in another sweet kiss.

"Yeah. What're you thinking about?" Kendall asked.

"This past the ." James shrugged, making Kendall chuckle.

"Yeah? Like how crowded the house will be today?" Kendall smirked, causing James to raise an eyebrow. "Just about everybody will be here this year." James frowned suddenly, and his mood fell drastically in a matter of seconds. Kendall sighed quietly when he realized James' sudden change in mood.

There was one person who wouldn't be here.

"James, I'm sorry they won't be here. I wish they could." Kendall murmured in a gentle voice. James merely pouted deeper, remembering just who wouldn't be here.

"Don't we all?" James snapped quietly. Kendall wrapped his arms tighter around James in comfort. James sighed but leaned into Kendall's arms.

"I'm sorry James."

"It's not your fault." James sighed again and pushed the thoughts back in his mind with a warm smile. "If _she_ doesn't want to come, it doesn't matter. She's working again. As always." James muttered bitterly.

"I know. She's so caught up in her cosmetic company, that she never has time." Kendall agreed sadly. "She never even has time for you anymore. Her own son." Kendall could feel his own anger beginning to build. But he swallowed the anger back down, so nothing that he could regret would happen.

James' mother owned her own company full of beauty products and cosmetics. While it was a big job, she actually used to spend more time with James. That is, until James announced his sexuality and his new boyfriend, Kendall. After that, James' mother, Brooke, threw herself into her company and work. It wasn't as if she didn't love James – because she still loved him, very much – but it was more that she didn't know what to do anymore. She didn't exactly know what to do with James' sexuality and choices anymore. She wasn't disgusted, no. But she was uncomfortable. So James saw less of Brooke, as she went to work every day, all day.

This always upset James, but it wasn't something he wasn't used to.

"At least your dad will be here." Kendall said softly. A knowing grin made its way on James. James and his father always had the best connection and bond with one another. Even after his father divorced his mother, and when James announced he had a boyfriend. That never changed his bond with his father. Though James only got to see his father around the holidays, because his dad lived in New York with his new wife. While James wasn't crazy about his new stepmother, he tolerated her and thought she was a good fit for his dad. "And Jennet won't be with him."

"Yeah, I've been looking forward to this." James grinned. "Besides, you know who he wants to meet." James wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing Kendall to laugh. Kendall nodded.

It was then, that James and Kendall could hear footsteps in the hallway, running to their closed door. Bright, grins graced both of their faces while they waited for the person to enter the room. It would only be a matter of seconds. They could hear to footsteps stop, while the doorknob jiggled for a few minutes. _Must be reaching a bit_. Then with a quiet creek, the door shot open and the footsteps continued racing towards the door.

That was when James and Kendall caught sight of a tuff of fluffy brown hair, before a little head popped into view.

"It's Christmas daddy! Papa, wake up!" Cried little Logan Diamond-Knight.

X.X.X.X

_January 10, 2012- 11:41 a.m._

_"Here." Kendall swallowed thickly as he gave Logan one last hug, before handing Logan to James. James hugged Logan tightly, not caring as the tears continued to run down his red face. Logan and James shared one more goodbye before James went to hand the older couple Logan._

_Now, Logan would really be gone from them._

_Just as James was about to hand the woman Logan, her husband stopped James and put a hand on James' arms._

_"No."_

_James and even Kendall blinked through blurry tears at what the man just said. No? What did he mean by no?_

_"E-Excuse me?" Kendall croaked. For a moment he, James and Logan were confused by the man's actions. They looked to the wife, to see if she also was confused, but to their upmost surprise the wife was smiling at them._

_"I mean no…don't give him to us." The man murmured quietly, taking his wife's hand in his own. He took a long breath before a gentle grin washed over his lips. "I believe he should be with you two."_

_And just like that James, Kendall and Logan felt the air rush out of their chests quickly and suddenly they couldn't breathe. Just then, it felt as if a light had broken through the dark clouds of pain and sorrow and was shining down upon them. Could they be serious?_

_"W-What do you m-mean?" James was almost terrified to ask. He was afraid that this would all just be a dream, or the couple would laugh and take Logan away. Could they really mean it?_

_"We mean," The woman laughed softly. "Logan should stay with you two. He should be adopted by you boys." And just like that, Logan promptly burst into tears and clung to James' neck tightly. But this time, his tears were tears of joy! All of the emotions were finally catching up to Logan and now he could simply let it all out. The relief and joy swelled inside him and he prayed to someone above that this wasn't some cruel joke._

_"Y-You mean, you're going to let us adopt Logan? Rather than…than you two?" Kendall whispered eyes wide with absolute surprise and slight hesitation. This couldn't be happening…could it? He needed to be sure that they meant this before he could be happy. He didn't want to get his hopes up, only to have them be crushed before his eyes once more. He couldn't take anymore pain._

_"Yes dear. I believe Frank and I both know a family when we see one." The woman smiled gently, as her own eyes were brimming with tears. "And right now, we see a perfect little family of three."_

_James finally cracked at her words and his own tears of joy fell from his eyes, as he held Logan tighter to his chest. He laughed weakly and spun Logan around, while Kendall finally latched on to James and Logan. Logan cried happily, reaching over to hug Kendall closely and the three remained together in a tight hug. Weak, but joyful laughter escaped the three of them as they swallowed all the heartache, all the agony and sorrow._

_Finally, they could be a family._

X.X.X.X

As the memory replayed through James' mind, he looked at Kendall to see the other was thinking of the exact memory he had.

James reached down the bed, and pulling the child, who was shrieking in laughter by now, up and into his arms. Logan laughed happily as Kendall curled closer to him and James and brought on the dreaded _tickling_ fingers on Logan. Logan squirmed and kicked as his laughter increased in volume, but it was no use. He was stuck in between Kendall and James and he was no match for either of them.

"Are you always going to barge in our room, huh?" Kendall grinned at the laughing boy and increased his amount of tickles along Logan's stomach. Logan shrieked in more laughter and attempted to squirm away once more. James was also laughing as he held Logan in a firm grip.

Logan continued to laugh but he was able to find his voice for a few seconds. "D…Daddy help me!" He managed between laughs. James felt his heart leap at the sound of his new name. _Daddy_. James never imagined that he would be called _daddy_ by such a precious child. Every time Logan said it, it always brought a heartfelt love to his heart and his mind soared with happiness.

He would never stop loving the way Logan called him _daddy_.

Quickly James scooped Logan deeper into his arms, before pulling away from Kendall and leaping out the bed. Logan finally managed to catch his breath, once the tickling fingers were gone, and he could calm down. His face was still red and small giggles emitted from him, as he held on tightly to James' neck.

"Never fear Logie, I will always protect you from papa." James grinned, a movie star grin at Logan while Kendall pouted and glared from his spot still on the bed. Logan giggled in James' arms and too a peek at Kendall.

"Oh really?" Kendall smirked and leaped off the bed just as fast as James had. Logan shrieked with a large smile and James attempted to hide his own grin. James bolted out the door (he'd have to thank Logan later for leaving it open), before racing down the stairs, with Logan firmly in his arms. Logan and James could both hear Kendall running close behind him. James did not dare to look back, because even though he was the fastest Kendall was the trickiest. He could find away to catch James if James was distracted for even a second.

As his laughter finally died down, Logan decided to peek over James' shoulder only to have his eyes widened. Quickly he turned back around in James' arms.

"Papa's right behind you. He's gonna catch us!" Logan whispered.

"No he won't."James assured nonchalantly towards Logan. However, James wasn't paying attention to where they were running and at the last second he realized they were running straight for the living room. James quickly jerked to a stop before he and Logan could go flying into all of the presents surrounding the tree.

Unfortunately, Kendall hadn't stopped in time. Instead he rammed straight into James' back and all three family members were thrown to the rugged floor. James landed on his back, with Logan landing on top of his chest. And Kendall landing on his legs.

_Oof!_

James groaned in between laughs and he simply laid on the floor with eyes closed. He felt Logan crawling off his chest, to stand up beside him and Kendall. Kendall also groaned from his position on the floor.

"Silly papa. Look at what you did." Logan giggled, causing Kendall to laugh painfully. He opened his eyes to gaze adorningly at the little brunette that was _their_ son. It still got to Kendall that he was a _papa_ now and he had his own _son_. Every time he thought about his son, or every time Logan called him _papa_, Kendall's heart would flutter over and over.

"Me? This was daddy's fault." Kendall groaned and swatted at James' legs. The taller male slapped Kendall's hand away with a chuckle.

"No, it was all yours." James argued as he slowly sat up and opened his eyes. His eyes softened at Kendall's grin below him and he gently leaned down to give Kendall a chaste lip. Kendall smiled into the kiss and attempted to deepen it only to have James pull back with a smirk. "Ah, ah, ah not in front of Logie."

Kendall pouted while Logan nodded.

The doorbell rang loudly, interrupting the three and Logan smiled at James. He took James' hand and the two headed off to the door. Kendall watched the two leave with a gentle smile on his face as his thoughts wandered.

X.X.X.X

_January 10, 2012_

_"So Logan, do you want to come home with us?" James asked softly, brushing his thumb gently across Logan's cheek to wipe away the tears. Logan nodded his head fiercely and buried his face into James' soft shirt._

_"Yes! Yes! I wanna stay with you and Kenny!" Logan choked out. James beamed and hugged Logan as tight against him as he possibly could. Kendall also grinned widely at Logan's decision and slowly he turned to the older couple._

_"Look, thank you…thank you so much for this. I don't know how we could ever possibly repay you." Kendall said; his voice laced with thanks and pure happiness. The couple only smiled at Kendall._

_"Logan is happy with you two." The man – Frank – said softly. His gaze lingered on James and Logan, as James whispered softly to the five-year-old with a brilliant smile. "Ms. Wainwright told us about you two. Logan had his heart for you two forever. And by the looks, we can tell so did both of you. You three belong with one another."_

_Kendall could feel another lump forming in his throat and tears brimmed in his eyes as the gentleman's kind words. _

_"You both will take care of Logan, and help him overcome his past. It is you two he needs. Not us." The woman breathed gently. "Just make sure…you take care of one another. All three of you. Alright?" She asked as she looked from James and Logan to Kendall. Kendall could see the slight pain in the woman's eyes and he vowed right then, to always take care of the two he loved most._

_With a confident smile, Kendall answered the woman. "I promise."_

_"Last call for those boarding flight 21B to St. Paul, Minnesota. Last call for flight 21B."_

_The man and woman looked towards the gate attendants as the announcement was made. James paused in swinging Logan in his arms and the two looked at the older couple with serious expression. For a few seconds no one made a move to leave._

_Then finally, after what felt like forever, the couple looked back at James and Logan once more before heading to the gate. James, Kendall and even Logan waved goodbye to the couple as they boarded the plane, with one less passenger._

_Logan was here to stay._

_Kendall and James both looked at Logan with wide grins on their faces and Logan couldn't help but grin back. He took James and Kendall's pink fingers and laced his little pinkies around both. _

_"Forever?" He asked, looking once again with those innocent chocolate eyes of his._

_James and Kendall grinned and pressed a soft kiss to the linked pinkies._

_"Forever."_

X.X.X.X

Kendall was snapped out of his memory by the sound of Logan's laughter and James' greeting. He beamed and pushed himself off the ground to see people beginning to pile through the doorway of their home.

His mother and Katie were the first to enter the home, with his mother immediately snatching Logan into her arms as she kissed his cheeks and foreheads. Logan grinned slightly and hugged Kendall's mother.

"Grandma!" He giggled as Jennifer continued to kiss his cheeks.

"Hello sweetie-pie!" Jennifer greeted. Katie impatiently leaned over her mother's shoulders so she could greet Logan with a sloppy kiss. Logan moved away from the sloppy kiss, knowing Katie was _intentionally_ giving him a messy kiss.

Jennifer and Katie had been devastated at first, when everyone believed Logan was out of their lives forever. They knew Kendall and James were taking it hard in the beginning. But once Logan was _finally_ theirs, Jennifer and Katie were the most supportive of the couple's choice, and instantly Logan was accepted into the family by them. It had taken a while for Logan to fully warm up to both of them, and trust them like it had with James and Kendall only longer. But Jennifer's honest smiles and warm, motherly ways and Katie's childish behavior eventually got to Logan. Now he loved both of them very, _very_ much.

Logan clapped happily when Katie handed him a stuffed, little dinosaur that was as big as Benny, with a little red bow around his neck. While Logan was immersed with his new toy, he failed to notice Carlos right behind him.

Carlos snatched the six-year-old quickly and swung him up in the air. Logan laughed and waved his arms.

"Uncle 'Los!" Logan greeted and hugged Carlos tightly. Logan had gotten closer to Carlos more than anyone else. Carlos was a perfect friend for Logan, even with Logan being a child and Carlos being an adult. Carlos acted more like a six-year-old than even Logan did sometimes.

"No way! Is that mine?" Carlos gaped and grabbed Logan's new toy. Logan giggled and quickly grabbed his dinosaur back before hugging it protectively to his chest. "Aw come on Logiebear, won't you share?"

"No it's mine!" Logan said.

"Please? Please? Please?"

"No. No. No way!"

"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaassssssee eee?" Carlos whined louder, causing Logan to giggle at his puppy dog expression. But Logan still shook his head with a smug grin.

"I'm sure Logan will share, if you give him your gift." James chuckled as he led everyone else in.

"Maybe I don't wanna give Logie his gift now." Carlos shrugged and pretended to huff loudly. Logan gasped in Carlos' arms behind his stuffed dinosaur. Even James raised an eyebrow.

"You won't?" Logan asked. Carlos nodded with a sly grin.

"Welllll," He drawled out. He tapped his chin as he pretended to think. The entire time, Logan was staring at Carlos with wide eyes. "Maybe if you let me play with your toy, I suppose I can give you your gift." Logan pouted at Carlos' clever demise to play with his new gift.

Finally he huffed. "Fine. We'll play, together." He smiled softly and instantly Carlos beamed with pride and happiness. Every one of Kendall's teammates greeted Logan with a hug or wave and greeted James and Kendall.

It was an hour later and the Christmas day was finally rolling. Everyone was spread across the large kitchen and living room, with a roaring fire going in the living room. People were chatting away in excitement and holiday joy, passing gifts around, drinking hot chocolate and opening their gifts. Not a person went by in the house without a bright smile.

Logan sat in James' lap, as he helped James to open his gift from Mrs. Knight. Kendall watched the two with a warm feeling, that now he could really call those two his _family_. But only Kendall could see the slight disappointment in James' hazel eyes.

_He_ wasn't here yet.

While Kendall felt his heart reaching out for James, a knock on the door startled James, Logan and Kendall. Everyone else was still talking amongst themselves and laughing, not having heard the door.

Kendall peeked towards the door and slowly a smile grew upon his face. He grinned towards James, watching as James' face slowly began to light up like the lights on their Christmas tree. Kendall and James both got up, and James pulled a confused Logan into his arms. Logan blinked, dangling his feety-pajama feet, while looking at the door. He could see the outline of a person's shoulder outside, through the window next to the door. _More people?_

James handed Logan to Kendall who gladly took the little boy with a wink and James opened the door. His heart quickened and a goofy smile slipped into place.

The man outside, breathed a sigh of relief before waving hesitantly. "Hey son."

"Dad! Come in." James cried excitedly. He allowed his father to come in the warm house and he shut the door first, and then he attacked his father with a hug. James hadn't seen his father in person in nearly two years. His father, Ryan, had been busy with his new wife and work in New York, so there hadn't been time for a visit last Christmas. James and Ryan had both been devastated last year, but Ryan made a promise to James to be there on Christmas.

To meet his _new_ family.

Ryan instantly relaxed and hugged his twenty-four-year-old son back. For a split second James felt like a little kid again, as young as Logan, on Christmas. After this he didn't even care that his _mother_ wouldn't be showing up.

"Hey Kendall." Ryan greeted his son-in-law with a warm smile. He always liked Kendall, even before he and James started dating. Ryan knew Kendall was just what James needed, and he would never hurt his son or let him down. He actually would have hugged Kendall…if there hadn't been a little boy in Kendall's arms.

Ryan felt his breath hitch and his heart stopped at the sight of the shy boy. His…_grandson_.

James smiled as he watched his father and his son look at one another hesitantly and curiously. Finally he decided to break the silence. "Dad, I want you to meet Logan. Our son." James introduced taking Logan from Kendall's grip. Logan hid slightly behind his stuffed dinosaur, looking at the strange man. He knew who he was, of course. He was _James'_ daddy. He had seen pictures before and James had talked about his father to Logan. But this was the first time Logan was actually meeting James' daddy.

So of course he was a bit shy.

"Logan, this is my dad. Or Grandpa Diamond." James said softly, shifting Logan. Ryan swallowed for a second before raising his hand hesitantly and waving. Logan stayed hidden behind his toy dinosaur, but eventually he cautioned towards the older man. Then he gave the man a tiny, but warm smile and he waved back.

"Hi grandpa." He whispered. That was enough to set the widest smile on Ryan's face, so wide that he felt his cheeks hurt. His smile had become so contagious that Kendall and James couldn't help but also smile.

"Hi there kiddo." Ryan said gently. And all three adults knew that everything would be okay between grandson and grandpa.

"Come join us in the living room dad. We're all opening gifts. Jennifer and Katie are here and the whole team." James said with a glamorous grin. Suddenly Ryan looked panicked by those words.

"Did you get –"

"Yes we got the gifts you sent. Logan was actually about to open yours. Come on, you can help him." Kendall interrupted with a soft look in his eyes. Ryan visibly relaxed and he nodded at his son and son-in-law. He smiled at Logan who grinned back, no longer shy, and headed for the crowded living room.

Kendall set Logan on his feet, taking the dinosaur in one hand just as Logan took his other hand. Logan reached for James' hand and took it in his own small palm. A look of emotion passed through the three as they gazed at one another. Only the would understand their relationship as it was; only they would understand everything they had been through during the past year.

James and Kendall smiled at each other. Sure they could afford expensive and huge gifts. Why, they could have as many gifts in the world but it would still mean nothing. They didn't need shiny lights, or giant Christmas trees. They didn't need wreaths or even a pile of gifts under the tree, hiding the exquisite and expensive trees. No, they didn't need any of that. It was all about the thoughts behind gifts and words.

Sometimes the best gifts are actually the ones you least expect to get. And for James and Kendall, the sweetest gift of them all, was a little boy named Logan Mitchell.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

**Wow…it's over…I don't know how I feel really. This is very emotional for me, I just can't believe **_**All I Want Is You**_**, is now over. That was the last chapter. Wow, excuse me for a moment….**

**While I sort out my feelings I want to give replies and my most sincere thanks to all:**

Reviewers:

**Scarlett: My first reviewer, and the one who always made me smile with every review. I just adored your kind and wonderful words and even on sad days you managed to make me smile ;). You are so special my dear. I am beyond delighted on how much this story meant to you and your enjoyment for it the entire time :D. So thank you so much for reviewing every chapter, and taking the time to enjoy this story. Thank you.**

**LoveSparkle: Ahh! What can I say?! How about: Thou art one of theith kindeth, most generouth person thy art able to haveth talkith too. ;) It was always a pleasure to read your lovely reviews each time and your PMs. You are a wonderful person that makes me smile :D, thank you for always reviewing, having such kind words and great PMs. My inbox is always open. Thank You.**

**Chazzy: Thank you for your reviews also. They were sweet and helped to keep me motivated :D. Thank you for enjoying this story and reviewing at times! Thank you.**

**Teddybear no1: You came early on in this story and it was always such a joy to read your reviews each time. They made me laugh, brought a smile to my face and sometimes made me blush. ;) Thanks for the amazing and nice words you send each time. I am glad you liked this story and found enjoyment, it was defiantly inspiration for me ;D. Thank you.**

**CrazyKAMESFan13: You also came in the beginning, and while some reviews were short, they were short and sweet. Like a strawberry short cake ;). Each review always made me smile and I thank you for that and helping my motivation also :D. So thank you.**

**SWACGleekFreak: Hey! You also came to this story early on :D. Your reviews were always so nice to read each time. All the emotions and smiles. It was so sweet to read them. Thank you for sticking with this story! ;) Thank you.**

**JamesLover: I could defiantly feel and tell how you were feeling with those capital letters :D. Thanks for enjoying the story.**

**Kameslover: Hello dear! ;) You also came fairly on and each time I read one of your reviews it always brought a smile to my face. They were so sweet and kind! Thanks for always expressing how you felt and your thoughts on this story. It was great motivation :D. I'm sorry this story was such an emotional roller coaster (lol, I tend to write these a lot), but it was great to talk with you and having such kind words! You're so very sweet, and I'm happy you enjoyed this story all the way to the end. Thank you!**

**Lovesall: I'm glad you enjoyed this little story. ;) Thank you.**

**Uncgirl364: Lol, still great opinion on Kendall. Thank you :D**

**DayMoon89: You were always such a great dear to have and read every review. I thank you so much for all the compliments and feelings you gave for this emotional story ;). Every review was kind and brought a smile from my heart and I was always happy to read every new review from you :D. Thanks for sticking around this emotionally unstable story, lol. I'm always glad to hear from you, Thank you! ;)**

**Elle-ish: First of all, once again that PM you sent me was just absolutely amazing and wonderful! You really made me laugh and smile throughout the whole thing (and don't worry, I just love looong reviews or messages! I tend to ramble also sometimes lol ;P). I loved it, and the reviews you gave were always so nice and kind, bringing smiles to my face. So thank you, you lovely, wonderful person.; ) Thanks for sticking around to the end of this little story and enjoying it :D. Thank you.**

**SincerelyYourSecret: First, hooray for all the squealing! Now, thank you for always having such amazingly sweet reviews that constantly made me smile every time! It was a blast to always read of your emotions and thoughts on the chapters for this little story! So thank you so much for always sticking around and having such kind words. :) Thank you.**

**thesandbar: First of all, I do hope you found your heart back and it survived with this chapter. I feel somewhat responsible for the pain it went through – from stomping on it, crushing it and feeding it to a raccoon. Then doing whatever to it – but hopefully the end of this chapter saves your heart. Hopefully it is not lost and not too badly beaten up. If not, I hopefully can find you a nice heart to replace the poor beaten. ;). Thank you.**

**Loganator-JR: Thank you for your sweet reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed this story and always gave your opinions. So thank you! ;D**

**UnconfinedMind: I'm happy you enjoyed this story and reviewed it a few times. The reviews were always cute and very sweet! :D Thank you.**

**Keynote123: Ahh, it's my twin! Lol, I finally found my twin :D. First of all, I just adored your long, long PM, it defiantly made me smile, laugh and even squeal! I just loved it, so thank you so much! ;) Also, I'm happy you enjoyed this little story very much. You are a kind, and funny person and your PM was very sweet! My inbox is always open ;P. It's always awesome to find someone who's mind is like my own haha. Thank you my dear twin!**

**Elilover2: Thank you for your sweet review that made me laugh and smile as I read it. I loved the 'Dear Jesus' thought and the facial expression lol. I'm happy you enjoyed this story and thank you! :D**

**Puggabo27: Even though you reviewed later, I loved to read your reviews. They were cute, sweet and brought a warm smile to my face. Thank you for the compliments and on how I write. It was great motivation! ;D Thank you.**

**Stacey3: I loved all your emotions and the capital letters. Nice touch to really get the feeling of emotions in your words ;). It was a blast to read your reviews that made me smile and laugh. Also, thanks for complimenting even after I emotionally tortured you in the last chapter haha. ;) Thank you**

**: Lol, I loved the review you sent. It was sweet and you expressed your emotions very well. Thanks for your thoughts and feelings. I loved them :D. Thank you.**

**TwiPotter Girl: I'm sorry. I hope this chapter fixed it ;). I'm just a heartbreaker.**

**Barbed Wire Halo: Lol, it's alright I understood what you meant. And hopefully the content of this chapter was muuuuuuch better! Thanks for the review and PMs.**

**And to all my anons, anonymous' and Guests, almost of you were so very kind and wonderful. Thanks for each and every review! ;)**

**swagUPwindosDOWN: Thank you my lovely beta and newest friend. LYLAS! I have had so much fun getting to know you and talking to you on twitter and through PM. I can't wait to begin writing together and enjoying many more fun messages and stories in the future. It was always so funny and a joy to talk with you. You are a wonderful and sweet person and I am so happy to know you now. Keep in touch and I can't wait to begin writing dear! ;D**

Favs and Alerts:

**There are quite a few of you and I'm running out of room but THANK YOU for enjoying this story. Enjoying it so much that you faved this story, alerted it or both. It truly means a lot to have those. They are just as sweet and kind as reviews so thank you so much :D.**

**And to all of those that took the time to read this story, it means a lot. Thank you and I hope you enjoyed it.**

**So that's it. That is the end of **_**All I Want Is You**_**, I hope you all are satisfied with the end and happy once more. Thanks for bearing with all my emotional chapters and then those dreaded twists. Thank you and I hope you all enjoyed **_**All I Want Is You**_**.**

**My PM inbox is always open to anyone who wishes to talk, send requests and ideas. Always open :D**

**Thank you again, it's been a blast for _All I Want Is You_**

**~~Fangfan1**


	16. Sequel Announcement

Peeps!

Hey there, all of you followers of _All I Want Is You_. Just in case some of you weren't aware I finally got back on track with the sequel to this story a couple weeks ago! Finally, I know. But the sequel is called _All We Need Is Each Other_, you can find it on my profile page obviously.

I decided to add this end note, just in case any one is still waiting for that sequel (I am so sorry it took me like five months) and haven't seen _**All We Need Is Each Other**._ The sequel is about six chapters at the moment and will be about fifteen chapters again once it is completed. Thank you to all who follow this and I hope you enjoy the sequel!

And to anyone who already knows about the sequel and finds this unnecessary and lame, good for finding it! Haha.

So enjoy _All We Need Is Each Other_ and thanks for reading _All I Want Is You_.

~~Fangfan1


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